Cosmically speaking, the New Moon is a time for new beginnings. What better new beginning than with a new love? You’ve got extra energy, a fresh perspective and you greet each day excited to be alive (to say nothing of how you greet each night)! You feel practically invincible – thanks in no small part to the rush of hormones invading your system. New love literally wakes your body up… but if you’re like most of us (who have been down this road before), that’s not all it does. Hopes, expectations and yes – even fears – are all part of the package.
But before you let the darker side of yourself spoil love’s light, take note of this lunar lesson. Everything is cyclical. Relationships ebb and flow. The one surefire way to make yours last is to be aware of that fact. Simply learn to roll with the rise and fall of the romantic tide.
Of course that’s easier said than done. So here are three tips to help ensure your love (new or otherwise) lasts for many moons to come!
Be your best you
When you’re in love, it’s tempting to clear your schedule in favor of spending time with your amour. It’s a common scenario. Otherwise well-rounded people with varied interests and hobbies lose track of themselves. Everything other than their significant other becomes a hazy fog. After a while, they remember that they used to like to do certain things, but they forget what they were. And they resent the person who took their identity – yet they cling to them because there’s nothing else left.
This is relationship mistake numero uno: forgetting that one whole relationship requires two complete individual halves.
If you want to ensure a long lasting love, the first thing you have to do is be your best you. Sure, your life will change with a partner – and you’ll have to make time for them. That’s not hard, because you’ll want to! But don’t ever stop making time for yourself. Not only should you want to remain interesting – maintaining a long term love is no easy task – but you want to remain interested. And while it may sound appealing while you’re in the early throes of passion, would you really stay interested in a lover who had no outside interests for the long term? Unless you’re Narcissus, probably not!
Likewise, your new love is going to have a life – or at least they should – and the last thing you want to be is the person who ruined it! All too often we hear tales of the clingy girlfriend or controlling boyfriend (and vice versa). And it’s a shame. While insecurity motivates these sorts of behaviors, the end result is usually the fulfillment of the frightened partner’s worst fears: a breakup.
If you want to build a relationship that’s going to go the distance, you’ve got to allow for distance. Recognize that by giving your partner space, you’re actually strengthening your bond – not weakening it! And you’re making your time together all the more precious.
Nothing is more attractive than a confident partner who respects you and your time. By encouraging your partner to be the best them they can be while taking care of your own needs too, you increase the odds that your two halves make an even better whole.
Do things together
All this talk of independence and individualism does not mean successful lovers never spend time together. In fact, the third key to long term love is making sure there are things you enjoy doing together – and that you do them!
While separate interests add spice to a relationship and provide things to talk about and learn from each other, common interests inspire feelings of unity, of growing together and growing closer – no matter how long you’ve been a couple. Regular joint activities point out what drew you to your mate in the first place – as well as revealing new, exciting qualities about your lover that you might have missed.
In the end, any relationship is bound to have it’s ups and downs. But one that is tended to by two individuals with a joint purpose will come to fruition over and over again throughout the years… as sure as 28 days will turn this New Moon to Full.
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