Holidays are all about being full - full of family, full of food, full of memories, anxiety and laughter. So when there's a relationship in the mix, how do you make room for one more? Relationships come with their own set of traditions. Add another person's schedule and rituals (not to mention their family) and you can end up with quite a juggling act on your hands. A little foresight and preparation can help you avoid the headache and make the holidays a reason to celebrate being together.
Facing family
We all look forward to the holidays as a time to revel, reconnect and relax with our families, but let's face it, those gatherings can be stressful, too! And when you've joined forces with a significant other, the family doing the celebrating may not always be your own. That can mean a potentially awkward scenario for you, while your partner is negotiating a delicate balance of their own. Talk to your significant other before any major meetings or gatherings to get the inside scoop on who's sensitive to this or insensitive about that. Even if you've met "the family" before, larger gatherings, particularly around the holidays, can be a little more complicated, and the more information you can collect about them ahead of time, the less likely you are to be taken by surprise later. Of course if it's your family we're talking about, you'll want to prepare your partner in the same way!
Plan ahead
Just because you think you know what will occur over the holidays or you haven't had time to think about it just yet doesn't mean it'll be smooth sailing. Talk about it early. Your lover may be assuming you'll lay low together this year while you have family plans of your own. Decide where you'll go, and remember that compromise is key. If it's Thanksgiving with their family, maybe it's Christmas with yours. If you can only get off a few days of work, decide to do something special with the time you have.
Make your own traditions
While traditions are familiar and nostalgic, you're not limited to the standard means of celebration. There's no rule that says you can't forgo the travel and preparation and go out for a quiet meal together. Or exchange the glazing for a little star gazing. This is your chance to invent new traditions and find what the holidays will mean to you, now that you're sharing them together. Don't get bogged down by what you expect them to look like or what you feel is expected of you. Your rituals should reflect your life and your loved ones, not just the echoes of past holidays.
Break from routine
It doesn't matter how you choose to honor the holidays, but it is important to honor them. Celebrate them even if you don't "celebrate" them. There's no rule that you have to travel 200 miles or consume certain foods in large groups, especially when the definition of family is fluid. You may be family to each other; your friends may be your family; their family may be your family. We get lost in the routine of warring priorities in our lives- busy keeping promises, fulfilling responsibilities and pursuing goals. Special occasions are a chance to take a step back from all of that, to celebrate why we bother. When you acknowledge these days as a time set apart from the rest and take time to appreciate those you love, you honor the reason we have holidays at all.
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