Ah, le mystère d'amour. No doubt about it - love can be mystifying. That illusive mix of chemistry and compatibility is divine, when you're lucky enough to find it. While chemistry hits us over the head, discovering whether we are truly compatible can be a time-consuming (and sometimes heartbreaking!) affair. Sexual sizzle is what brings us together, but for long-term bliss, compatibility is the main ingredient.
Astrology is an insightful tool that reveals both chemistry and compatibility in relationships.
So what's the secret? Comparing the elements - fire, air, water and earth - within a couple's charts is the key. A harmonious blend of elements indicates that a couple is in sync with each other's needs for affection, sex, communications, values and commitment - among other things. These placements form angles to each other, which describe a couple's strengths and weaknesses. Additionally, where the Sun, Moon and planets fall in each other's charts indicates how one person's energy influences the other. So let's look at the elements to see how it works.
Elements: How can the Sun, Moon and planets unravel the mystery of love? First, examine the characteristics of each element. Fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) are dynamic and enthusiastic. Air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) are intellectual and social. Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) are emotional and intuitive. Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) are sensual and practical. In general, fire harmonizes with air, while water harmonizes with earth. Comparing the elements of the placements below will reveal if a relationship is headed for bliss or oblivion.
Sun: The Sun is how you express your individuality. It's the path you take to achieve your goals. If a couple's Sun signs are in harmony, their energies will flow well in daily life, and they naturally understand where their partner is coming from. They will work well as a couple when building a life together. If their Sun signs are out of sync, they'll have to work harder to understand the motives and values of each other.
Moon: The Moon is your emotional needs. It indicates your nurturing abilities and family patterns. If a couple's Moon signs are in harmony, their feelings will flow easily as they understand each other on an instinctual level. Their moods and daily habits will also be in sync. If their Moon signs are in conflict, they'll need to work harder to express their feelings so their partner will understand. Their values and needs pertaining to family may also clash.
Mercury: Mercury is your communication style. If a couple's Mercury signs are in harmony, they spark each other's ideas and express them easily to each other. There will be a natural flow of conversation between them. Even when disagreeing, they'll be able to see each other's point of view. If a couple's Mercury signs are out of sync, communication will be stilted. They'll have to work harder to be understood by their partner.
Venus: Venus is the planet of love. It's how you show affection, as well as the kind of loving you need from your partner. It's also your need to socialize and indicates what you value. When a couple's Venus signs are in harmony, love will flow easily between them and they'll show affection in ways that fulfill each other. Their desire to socialize with others will be in sync too. Shared values will also be present. If a couple's Venus signs are out of sync, love may still be present, but they'll have to work harder to show their love in ways that make their partner feel loved. Their values, especially regarding finances, will likely clash. Their desire to socialize with others may also be out of sync.
Mars: Mars is the planet of passion, anger and pure energy. It's what you need sexually, as well as how you express irritation. When a couple's Mars signs are in harmony, they have plenty of sexual spark. They energize each other, both inside and outside the bedroom. And unless Mars is afflicted in an individual chart, they fight with the intention to resolve a problem. If a couple's Mars signs are out of sync, passion may be present, but they may have different sexual needs, rhythms or styles. They may also express anger differently or with the intention to control (irritate?) the other.
To make chart comparisons even more complicated, cross connections between placements also reveal compatibility. For instance, when one person's Moon blends with another's Venus, the couple will have a highly emotional (Moon) bond of love (Venus). The following "outer" planets are particularly important in cross connections.
Jupiter: Jupiter is the planet of luck, learning, philosophy and long-distance travel. It's your spiritual beliefs and faith in the future. When a couple has a harmonious Jupiter connection, they feel happy around each other. They support each other's goals with optimism and faith in each other's abilities. They'll widen each other's horizons. Their spiritual beliefs will be complimentary. If a couple has a challenging Jupiter connection, unrealistic expectations can derail the relationship. Overindulging in spending or socializing will deplete their resources. Their philosophies or religious beliefs may also clash.
Saturn: Saturn is the planet of commitment and responsibility. It's the glue that keeps a couple together. When a couple has a harmonious Saturn connection, they create a strong foundation. They support each other's long-range goals and are committed to staying together through thick and thin. If a couple has too strong a Saturn connection, then control issues arise and one person may be very critical of the other. Too weak a Saturn connection indicates a bond that's not meant to last.
Uranus: Uranus is the planet of change, attraction and enlightenment. When a couple has a harmonious Uranus connection, an energizing chemistry will keep the relationship fresh and exciting. They seek out new ideas and activities together. They inspire and support each other's changes for the sake of personal growth. If a couple has too strong a Uranus connection, the relationship will be unpredictable and lack stability and commitment. This is the "love-at-first-sight" connection that's based on pure chemistry (yet it may lack true compatibility). Too weak a Uranus connection spells a relationship rut. The couple will be fearful of change and view each other's personal growth as a threat.
Neptune: Neptune is your direct connection to Spirit. It's also the planet of empathy, denial and escapism. When a couple has a harmonious Neptune connection, they are compassionate towards each other and share an intuitive link. Each will sense what the other is feeling. They may also share a sense of being part of something greater. A challenging Neptune connection indicates an undefined sense of direction within the relationship. Misunderstandings are likely and boundaries will be lacking. The couple may also enable each other's need to escape through drugs or alcohol.
Pluto: Pluto is the planet of transformation, death and compulsion. When a couple has a harmonious Pluto, they share a profound intimacy that is both sexually fulfilling and emotionally healing. They have a transforming influence on each other, which promotes personal growth. They may also share a curiosity about the afterlife and all things mysterious. With a challenging Pluto connection, power and jealousy is a problem. One person may seek to dominate the other (who feels powerless).
Chart comparisons may be complex, so get a good astrologer to analyze yours.