As modern women enter more and more male-dominated arenas, women are often told to be more like men. But when it comes to having happy, healthy relationships, men can learn a lot from the fairer sex. Here are our top three things men can learn from women.
Pay Attention
Women are looked at as the more sensitive, thoughtful gender. "Women's intuition" is considered an almost paranormal ability to see things men don't. Yet without even tapping into their psychic gifts, women have an edge on men when it comes to insight: because they pay attention.
Women are often more interested in personal relationships, so they tend to observe other people more closely and listen more actively. By hearing and remembering interpersonal details, women develop a greater for understanding of the people around them.
How many men have heard the same criticism a thousand times: "Why don't you listen to me?" What their partner really means is, "Why don't you pay attention to what I'm saying?"
Men need to learn from women that paying attention isn't a passive process. It's about being engaged enough to understand what's being said, remember it and act on it in the future. If you're confused or disinterested in what your partner is saying, don't tune out. Make a conscious effort to engage yourself in what she's saying by asking questions or contributing to the conversation.
Slow Down
Because women are so interested in the details of interpersonal relationships, they often recognize that the complexities of life require a great deal of patience.
Men are notorious for trying to "fix" problems. Women, on the other hand, often deliberately take time to vent about a problem and analyze it from many angles before taking action.
Men are often applauded for their ambition and drive to get things done. But they can learn a lesson from women about how to balance the need for speed with the desire to do things right. Women tend to show more patience with people and situations, and in the end, that can mean they find better, more long-lasting solutions.
When confronted with issues, your first instinct as a man may be the need to take action. When that happens, pay attention and ask yourself, Why do I need an immediate solution? Is there time to do more research, ask more questions and find a better answer?
By becoming more aware of how you react to problems, you will allow yourself more opportunities for thoughtful analysis and planning.
Cry! Laugh! Pout! Smile!
Men are often teased for not being in touch with their "softer side." The truth is, even men who are very connected with their emotions are often uncomfortable expressing them outwardly. Unfortunately, men know that society frowns upon them showing the same emotions as women -- men who are "too" sad, happy or angry are often considered effeminate.
But by not allowing themselves to express emotion, men are just missing out! If men can learn to express their feelings like women, they will be freer to enjoy the rich emotional texture of life.
Next time you're upset, open up to a good friend. You may be surprised by how good it feels to have someone to lean on.
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