Lie Detector

Tips to see through a tall tale

Ever find yourself wondering if someone's being honest with you? Whether it's your lover, your sister or best friend, or even the seemingly disinterested salesperson who tells you they're out of that thing you desperately want (and has already checked the storage room twice that day)...

Every once in a while we're all led to question whether or not someone is telling the truth. The next time you're in a situation where you're not sure if what you're hearing is factual, don't go away unsure. Use these tips for seeing through lies.

Observe the nerves
When most people lie, they get nervous about it. While this may not be true of master truth twisters, the average person telling a lie is likely to be fidgety and uncomfortable. He or she might look around a lot and shift position, and may or may not look you in the eye. The jury's out on that one (some experts say liars will look you in the eye in an attempt to appear earnest while others say they look away to avoid being seen through), but the point is to recognize a change in the person's physical embodiment. If a normally animated guy is strangely calm, it may be because his story is well thought out and rehearsed. If you're laidback-Jack is extra vivid and uses his hands, it may be an attempt to fill in the gaps in a story he can't see - because it didn't happen. Look for variations from usual behavior. And trust your gut!

The devil's in the details
Changes in temperament aren't the only significant variations when you're trying to discern the accuracy of someone's statements. Take notice of changes in the details of the story. Different versions on different days complete with different time frames, locations and durations tell you something is probably up. Whoever said telling the truth is easy - because you don't have to remember the details - was onto something. Now this doesn't mean that years after the fact, getting a little mixed up about exactly when or where something happened or how it went is indicative of dishonesty. Be reasonable here. Get your answers when the story comes into question rather than hanging on to something building curiosity or animosity over time.

Finger Pointing 101
While it's not always the case, you may have cause for concern if the person in question accuses you of lying or being deceitful when you haven't been (or given them reason to think you have). People tend to apply their own behaviors, thoughts etc. to others and thereby make the assumption that you are doing/seeing/speaking as they are. So if you're triggered into suspicion but when you ask about it, you're met with unmerited accusations - look out.

While you're at it, remember that your mate/friends/family are not you either, so try not to do this yourself. Sometimes the best thing to do when you suspect someone of lying is to ask them directly. When confronted outright many people who have been dishonest will confess, grateful for the opportunity to be relieved of their guilt.