Be Ready For Love

How to recognize the real deal

No one knows when love is going to show up at their door. And you certainly can't write up a plan and expect for love to follow it. But you can plan for love to come around, and prepare yourself so you're ready when it does. The best plan to follow is to figure out what you're truly, honestly looking for, and then do your best to recognize love - real love - when it comes your way.

Check and mate
This absolutely does not mean creating a checklist for what a potential lover must be - whatever you do, resist that temptation. That kind of planning will pretty much ensure that you will never find the love that's right for you. I guarantee that the elusive person who's got the perfect height/weight/hair color, makes the perfect amount of money and has the perfect house will either be perfectly boring, perfectly horrible or perfectly not interested in you - that is, if you ever manage to meet this mythical creature who somehow fulfills a list of stuff you think you need in a mate.

When it comes to love, you should know what you truly want - and then grit your teeth and leave some wiggle room. You may think that things like religion, race or income are dealbreakers, and then one day meet someone who's not anything like the person you expected to fall in love with, only there you are, falling in love, and happier than you've ever been before.

And if you're sitting there insisting that you can't be happy unless you're married to someone rich or a beautiful blond or a celebrity, then just be aware that you're not looking for love, you're looking for money, a showpiece or fame. That's fine, if that's what will make you happy - just don't expect real, true love to come along with it.

Forever and ever
One thing you should ask yourself as you prepare for love is this: do you want someone to have fun with, or does the next person you date have to be someone you can get serious with? Okay. If you said the next person you date has to be someone you can get serious with, try to figure out why that is. Do you really ache for someone to be with forever? What if you're not fated to meet that person for ten years? Will you just spend every day alone until then? Are you okay with that? Really?

If you don't honestly ache for a lifelong commitment starting tomorrow, then don't push it. Actually, don't push it either way. There's nothing scarier to a potential love than someone who's naming the kids and picking out houses on the drive to the restaurant on the first date. And if you're not looking for a lifetime commitment now - or ever - try not to be too spooked if your next lover brings up the idea. Maybe you always thought you didn't want a lifetime partner 'cause you thought you'd never find one.

Happy and healthy
The best plan for love (true, honest-to-goodness, make everyone around you sick with envy love) is to plan on being happy (and helping to make someone else happy) - and then don't settle until you've found the person who fits in perfectly with that plan. Notice we're not saying that you should expect someone else to make you happy, nor are we insisting that love will make you happy. We're saying you should find your own happiness (and be your own whole person) and look for someone who will not disturb that happiness in any way.

When it comes to life and love, take the time to assess what you're really looking for. Just remember that you want to be ready and willing when love comes looking for you!