{"id":897000,"date":"2006-11-14T04:30:00","date_gmt":"2006-11-14T12:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/2006\/11\/are-you-too-controlling.html\/"},"modified":"2016-05-25T10:35:30","modified_gmt":"2016-05-25T17:35:30","slug":"are-you-too-controlling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/mind-body-spirit\/are-you-too-controlling.html","title":{"rendered":"Are You Too Controlling?"},"content":{"rendered":"

You just want to make sure that everything’s right and that you don’t get hurt, correct? Well, all your efforts to protect yourself and take care of others can actually bring about what you don’t want – rejection. How can you know if you’re controlling and you’re driving others away?<\/p>\n

Here are 10 telling signs:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 You spend a lot of time thinking about what others ‘should’ be doing.<\/p>\n

\u2022 You feel righteous and hear a lecturing tone in your voice.<\/p>\n

\u2022 You ‘know’ without a doubt what other people should be doing.<\/p>\n

\u2022 You notice that while you’re letting someone know what you think, they turn their head away, look down or roll their eyes.<\/p>\n

\u2022 You’ve been told to ‘mind your own business’ more than once lately.<\/p>\n

\u2022 You’ve been called ‘controlling’ or ‘rigid’ or ‘difficult’ recently.<\/p>\n

\u2022 You’ve either said or thought, ‘maybe I shouldn’t interfere’.<\/p>\n

\u2022 You’ve tried to restrict someone’s access to their friends, family or certain activities.<\/p>\n

\u2022 A friend has said to you, “It’s not your life, let them learn from their own mistakes.”<\/p>\n

\u2022 You’ve ‘punished’ someone either by exploding with anger, or given them the cold shoulder.<\/p>\n

What to do about it?<\/span>
\nFirst, if your controlling behavior has escalated to violence, get immediate professional help with anger management. There are many, many programs easily available in nearly every community.<\/p>\n

\u2022 If you’re being emotionally controlling and manipulative, own up to it.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Acknowledge the problem to whomever is affected and ask their help while you learn to let go of this negative, unproductive, destructive behavior.<\/p>\n

\u2022 When you feel your back going up with righteousness, take 10 deep breaths before you say a word.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Ask for support from trusted friends.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Practice saying silently to yourself, “It’s their life. It’s not my problem.” And, you have to really accept the truth in those statements.<\/p>\n

Be patient with yourself; give yourself time to change. This is a repetitive mental ‘tape-recording’ in your mind as much as it is a behavior. Unless you’ve experienced a traumatic consequence, immediate change is unlikely. Give it time and effort and you will become more tolerant, open, kind and forgiving. And then, ironically, people will really listen to your advice and take it to heart, but only after you’ve detached from the outcome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n
Need help letting go and learning to trust? Call 1.800.573.4830 or click here<\/a> now.<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You just want to make sure that everything’s right and that you don’t get hurt, correct? Well, all your efforts to protect yourself and take care of others can actually bring about what you don’t want – rejection. How can you know if you’re controlling and you’re driving others away?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2341,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[33274,40],"tags":[11943,2446,39,7448,2358,177,2365,11942,2265,11941],"cp_author":[7596],"class_list":["post-897000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-relationships","category-mind-body-spirit","tag-avoiding-rejection","tag-confidence","tag-control","tag-control-freak","tag-faith","tag-letting-go","tag-rejection","tag-too-controlling","tag-trust","tag-trusting-the-universe","cp_author-california-psychics"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAre You Too Controlling? | California Psychics<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You just want to make sure that everything's right and that you don't get hurt, correct? 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