{"id":6506,"date":"2010-05-22T01:11:33","date_gmt":"2010-05-22T08:11:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/?p=6506"},"modified":"2012-04-05T16:42:29","modified_gmt":"2012-04-05T23:42:29","slug":"the-worst-form-of-therapy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/mind-body-spirit\/the-worst-form-of-therapy.html","title":{"rendered":"The Worst Form of Therapy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/2010\/03\/psychics-share-spiritual-self-help.html\/\"><strong>Self-help books<\/strong><\/a> don\u2019t work for most of the population. Why? Because a lot of these books are using common sense approaches that you and I could have, and probably <em>did<\/em>, come up with on our own. I remember reading <em>He\u2019s Just Not That Into You<\/em> and feeling rather stupid after\u00a0finishing it, thinking \u201cWell, there we have it. If he doesn\u2019t call you, he truly isn\u2019t into you (which is what my gut already knew), and not in the hospital after some horrid accident (which is what I wanted to believe, because rejection just sucks).\u201d Most of the time when reading a self-help book, I would think to myself that I (or anyone else for that matter) could have written the same thing. The problem is, common sense just doesn\u2019t work for the vast majority of the population! If that were the case, they\u2019d already have the friendships, jobs, relationships, bodies and lives they\u2019re trying to get from said book.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>The current popular self-help book is <em><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/2010\/05\/date-your-anti-type.html\/\"><strong>He\u2019s Just Not Your <\/strong><strong>Type<\/strong><\/a><\/em><em><strong> <\/strong><\/em><em>(And That\u2019s a Good Thing)<\/em> by relationship expert Andrea Syrtash. First of all, there are sure as hell a lot of \u201cexperts\u201d out there these days! It seems to be the easiest title to obtain, and requires absolutely no degree or certification at all. Here\u2019s another expert with another book, and I have to say \u2013 Really? We didn\u2019t know that being too picky and having unrealistic expectations won\u2019t lead us to our soulmates? We didn\u2019t know that limiting our \u201ctypes\u201d to less than 1% of the population will keep us single? Wow, who would have thought!?<\/p>\n<p>The problem with these books is that they don\u2019t work for the average\u00a0Joe Schmoe. A person who keeps finding themselves on the same bad, self-deprecating, <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/2010\/04\/victim-vs-victor.html\/\"><strong>self-destructive<\/strong><\/a> path over and over will need a lot more than a book. No book in the world will help them get it, because they are lacking the tools and self-awareness to recognize their patterns, and realize that their suffering and misery is a mere result of their own hard-wiring, created by years and years of the same thoughts and actions. So telling them\u00a0the obvious,\u00a0no matter how\u00a0well one sugar coats it, won\u2019t do a damn thing. It will usually push them into an even more defensive stance on \u201cwhy it isn\u2019t their fault that there is no one out there who meets their standards and that settling is not an option.\u201d Come on!<\/p>\n<p>These books usually have the same effect that a <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/2010\/04\/summer-fit-without-dieting.html\/\"><strong>diet<\/strong><\/a><strong> <\/strong>book has on an obese person or cancer statistics have on a smoker: None.<\/p>\n<p>We all know, to some degree, why and where we are failing in our own lives, but that doesn\u2019t mean we are willing to change. Even the true experts, i.e. doctors, licensed therapists, etc., will have no effect on a person who isn\u2019t willing to change. Even the most inspiring book cannot change the neural pathways and hard-wiring of an individual: that can only be achieved by actual <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/2010\/04\/evolve-with-your-karma.html\/\"><strong>work on oneself<\/strong><\/a><strong>.<\/strong> And so I must sadly say that a book which tells people to date outside their comfort zone gets a \u201cFail\u201d stamp from me.<\/p>\n<p>What do you think? Can people change their behaviors by reading self-help books?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Just because they&#8217;re labeled &#8220;self-help&#8221; doesn&#8217;t mean they will help<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6533,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[897,6026,6125,1297,206,6124,1740,1702],"cp_author":[7596],"class_list":["post-6506","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mind-body-spirit","tag-books","tag-carmen-honacker","tag-common-sense","tag-reading","tag-relationship-advice","tag-self-help-books","tag-therapy","tag-well-being","cp_author-california-psychics"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Worst Form of Therapy | California Psychics<\/title>\n<meta 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