
{"id":6151,"date":"2010-05-15T01:11:29","date_gmt":"2010-05-15T08:11:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/?p=6151"},"modified":"2010-09-02T16:22:27","modified_gmt":"2010-09-02T23:22:27","slug":"relationship-expectations-youre-doing-it-wrong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/love-relationships\/relationship-expectations-youre-doing-it-wrong.html","title":{"rendered":"Relationship Expectations: You&#8217;re Doing It Wrong!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There are times when we are in a shitty spot in our life. These times can last a while. But if\u00a0 you\u00a0find yourself alone year after year, and if you keep getting rejected for the same reasons,\u00a0chances are it isn\u2019t them \u2013 it\u2019s you. Try taking a <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/2010\/03\/own-up-to-yourself.html\/\"><strong>long hard look at yourself<\/strong><\/a> instead of blaming others.<\/p>\n<p>Here are some behaviors that are totally and utterly unattractive to both genders. Any of them sound familiar?<!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>1. The Martyr<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The type that\u00a0enters a room\u00a0as if they have been beaten over the head, carrying an imaginary cross on their shoulders. When approached by an <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/californiapsychics.com\/articles\/Love\/212\/Who_Finds_What_Attractive.aspx\">attractive<\/a> <\/strong>member of the opposite sex, they tend to go\u00a0into rants about why they are single.\u00a0Healthy people will quickly run away, while the unhealthy ones will try to fix them. In either case, they\u2019ll be single again soon enough.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Kick Me<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is the type who goes on and on about not being able to find a single \u201cnice\u201d woman or man. This is because they usually reject nice women or men. \u201cKick Me\u201ds are usually attracted to people who make them feel worse about themselves, because they tend to mistake feeling shitty with fearful adrenaline rushes and excitement. The worse you treat them or the more you ignore\/reject them, the more they\u2019ll be into you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Excuse Queens<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>They have a ton of excuses for not doing the right thing. There is always a \u201cbut,\u201d and no rhyme or reason ever wins. After a while, no one will be interested in telling them anything\u00a0true or\u00a0worthwhile anymore,\u00a0and again, Mr.\/Mrs. But remains left alone in the dust. (Except when they attract another \u201cbut\u201d person. Good luck having <em>those<\/em> two together.)<\/p>\n<p><strong>4. Shallow Hal<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>These are the ones who whine about not finding \u201cthe one,\u201d because there simply aren\u2019t enough men and women out there who are in their preferred looks, income, age, and \u201ctype\u201d group. They can only date \u201ctheir type.\u201d Their values are based on superficial exterior traits, which\u00a0they then stubbornly defend by saying \u201cit\u2019s not my fault that I\u2019m not attracted to\/don\u2019t have chemistry with my non-type.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. The Downer<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/articles\/Features\/4283\/Negative_Thought_Patterns.aspx\"><strong>The glass is always half empty for them.<\/strong><\/a> They have been wronged, cheated on, dumped and neglected, and never got over it. They create their future from their past and cannot even imagine ever being happy, which attracts more of the same. They tend to drain the living hell out of most people, and hence remain alone.<\/p>\n<p>Happiness and love are something that we create. There isn\u2019t a lottery out there that dishes out \u201chappy\u201d to some and the \u201cass card\u201d to another. There is a HUGE difference between taking a cold, hard look at yourself and adjusting your expectations, and settling. Somehow, the people mentioned here stubbornly insist that letting go of their crap is a form of settling. Nothing could be further from the truth.<\/p>\n<p>We all attract <a href=\"http:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/articles\/Features\/2942\/Your_Relationship_Is_a_Mirror.aspx\"><strong>mirror images<\/strong><\/a> of ourselves, as well as exactly what we think we deserve. The jig is up! People can spot low self-esteem and broken souls from a mile away. The healthy people will actually stay clear of you, which leaves you with the unhealthy and crazy ones. And I have been ALL of the above at some point or another in my life!\u00a0Pulling my head out of my butt and finally learning\u00a0to love and respect myself brought me all the things I used to whine about not having. When one points the finger at another, three fingers point back at you!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you the reason you&#8217;re single &#8211; and your own best friend when it comes to changing that?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6533,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[33274],"tags":[6026,1607,3121,206,10273,5976,1410,5701,5977,1702],"cp_author":[7596],"class_list":["post-6151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-relationships","tag-carmen-honacker","tag-change","tag-expectations","tag-relationship-advice","tag-sex","tag-shallow","tag-single","tag-stubborn","tag-unrealistic","tag-well-being","cp_author-california-psychics"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Relationship Expectations: You&#039;re Doing It Wrong! | California Psychics<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you the reason you&#039;re single - and your own best friend when it comes to changing that?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6151\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Relationship Expectations: You&#039;re Doing It Wrong! | California Psychics\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Are you the reason you&#039;re single - and your own best friend when it comes to changing that?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/usw2-www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/love-relationships\/relationship-expectations-youre-doing-it-wrong.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"California Psychics\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-05-15T08:11:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2010-09-02T23:22:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"dmarantz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"dmarantz\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Relationship Expectations: You're Doing It Wrong! 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