{"id":5950226,"date":"2018-11-22T00:00:02","date_gmt":"2018-11-22T08:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/?p=5950226"},"modified":"2018-11-19T16:44:54","modified_gmt":"2018-11-20T00:44:54","slug":"psychic-qa-emotionally-abusive-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/psychic-questions\/psychic-qa-emotionally-abusive-husband.html","title":{"rendered":"Psychic Q&A: Her Emotionally Abusive Husband"},"content":{"rendered":"

Negative, Reactive, and Defensive<\/h4>\n

Psychic Kallista, <\/i><\/p>\n

I’ve been married for 23 years and we have two kids\u201414 and 9 years old. I have been going to therapy to deal with my emotionally abusive mother. I feel like therapy has opened my eyes to a lot of things and I\u2019m starting to think that I have an emotionally abusive husband too. <\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019m wondering if I married my husband because he reminds me of my mother. He\u2019s very negative, likes to give me the silent treatment when he\u2019s mad, he\u2019s very reactive and defensive, and he\u2019s passive-aggressive and authoritarian. His actions have alienated our children too\u2014our son doesn\u2019t want to be around him and our daughter is afraid of him.<\/i><\/p>\n

There were some red flags even before we got married. My husband is 10 years older than me and he has some health issues. I told him I wanted him to get healthier so we could have a long life together. He agreed but never made the effort. He has claimed to quit smoking at least three times but I always catch him smoking. I hate that he\u2019s lying and to me, and it\u2019s just more proof that he’s an emotionally abusive husband. <\/i><\/p>\n

I have fallen out of love with him. He doesn\u2019t care enough about himself or me or our kids to take care of himself. We just signed a lease on a house. I can\u2019t afford it on my own but if I could I would send him home to his momma. He senses something because sometimes he cries and asks me to forgive him. I told him I don\u2019t know how much more I can take.<\/i><\/p>\n

He\u2019s started being nicer to our kids but it\u2019s too little too late. I just don\u2019t care about him anymore and I wish I could feel love for him again, but I think I married him because at the time I thought his negativity and emotional abuse were normal. I somehow wanted an emotionally abusive husband! Now, I\u2019m wondering if I can ever love him again. Will we be able to make our marriage work?<\/i><\/p>\n

Elizabeth S.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n

Psychic Kallista ext. 9623<\/b><\/a> responds:<\/p>\n

Dear Elizabeth,<\/p>\n

You have been incredibly strong in a very difficult situation for many years. You deserve to feel proud of yourself, for you are doing exactly the right thing in going to therapy to help you deal with your emotionally abusive mother. Now you have made the connection that your marriage is continuing the pattern set by your hurtful mother, but you are in the process of breaking that pattern now. While I disagree that you somehow \u201cwanted\u201d an emotionally abusive husband, because you most certainly did not want this, it is understandable that you found his hurtfulness familiar and therefore normal. Now you\u2019re seeing how much you deserve love, respect, happiness, and to feel safe, and that your husband cannot, and will not, give you these things.<\/p>\n

The atmosphere in your home is rife with anxiety, dread, and fear. It feels like you are going to leave him and the misery he is causing everyone. You have an amazing capacity to love the unlovable, but to continue tolerating the intolerable will only create deeper pain. It is a favorite tactic of abusers to repeatedly cry and beg for forgiveness, only to resume their abusive behavior. If this man were going to change, he would have done so during the last 23 years.<\/p>\n

If you choose to leave him, and it looks like you will, please do not so much as hint at your decision until you have everything in place to do so. A lawyer will help you understand your power and the steps you need to take to protect yourself, your kids, and your finances. It would be best if you were not staying under the same roof with him when he learns you are really ending things. He can be vengeful and cruel. While these types of decisions are not easy to make, you will be much happier when you are free of your emotionally abusive husband.<\/p>\n

You will have the opportunity to fall in love and marry again\u2014this time to a man who will be a much better match and far more evolved and loving. Please know that our love psychics<\/b><\/a> stand ready to assist you in your process of building a happy new life for you and your children.<\/p>\n

May you be ever blessed,<\/p>\n

Kallista<\/b><\/a><\/p>\n

Do you have a question for Psychic Kallista? Send it to QandA@californiapsychics.com<\/b><\/a> and it could be featured in a future Psychic Q&A!<\/p>\n

\n

There\u2019s nothing worse than romantic uncertainty, but you don\u2019t have to navigate the ebbs and flows of love alone. A love psychic<\/b><\/a> is always available to help and a psychic love reading<\/b><\/a> is exactly what you need to get your relationship on the path to forever.<\/p>\n

Find a love psychic<\/b><\/a> or learn more about psychic love readings<\/b><\/a>.<\/p>\n

\n

About California Psychics<\/strong>
\nCalifornia Psychics is the most trusted source of psychic readings<\/a>. We have delivered over 6 million discreet and confidential psychic readings by phone<\/a> since 1995. More than a prediction, we are your guide for life\u2019s journey. Serenity, happiness, and success are just a phone call away. With over 400 psychics online<\/a> to choose from, you\u2019re sure to find the best psychics<\/a> for you. Call one of our trusted and accurate psychics<\/a> today! Confidential and secure, real psychics<\/a>, accurate predictions, 100% guaranteed.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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