{"id":5907323,"date":"2013-05-22T13:00:11","date_gmt":"2013-05-22T20:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/?p=5907323"},"modified":"2016-05-03T16:18:41","modified_gmt":"2016-05-03T23:18:41","slug":"sex-qa-are-you-sexually-compatible-with-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/psychic-questions\/sex-qa-are-you-sexually-compatible-with-him.html","title":{"rendered":"Sex Q&A: Are You Sexually Compatible With Him?"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Sexual Being She Used to Be<\/h4>\n

Katarina from Malm\u00f6, Sweden writes:<\/p>\n

Dear Liam,<\/em><\/p>\n

I’ve been dealing with emotional issues my whole life (depression and borderline\/IPS), and I have come a long way. I am currently in a relationship with a very kind and understanding man. When I was younger I used to be very sexual<\/strong><\/a>, but it was always tied to my emotional explosiveness\u2014my “darker” side if you’d like. I had several slightly unhealthy relationships, but the sex was always great (for me). Fighting, crying, desperation, feeling like it was the end of the world\u2014all that intense drama turned me on<\/strong><\/a>. Now I’m older, more integrated into this society of ours and the outbursts have become a much smaller part of me. But I feel that I have lost a big part of my sexuality with it.<\/em><\/p>\n

I am a monogamous person (I actually don’t like people very much, and VERY rarely get interested in anyone, whether it be on a friendship-level or more intimately) and I want a lasting, loving relationship, but the steadiness and healthiness of “normal” life and love doesn’t turn me on. I am afraid that if I was to act in a way that would turn me on sexually, not only would I set my psychological progress back a decade, but I would also ruin my relationship. He is someone who doesn’t even want to have make-up sex after fighting. How do I find my way back to the sexual being I used to be without bringing back all of the destructiveness that used to come with it?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Liam’s<\/a><\/strong> Response:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Greetings, Katarina. I was so thrilled with the complex and poetic nature of your question that I even made mention of its unique nature to my editor. Your inner world is rich and vital and wild with passion. I feel the tragedy of your restraint; the phantoms of desire that swirl within the confines of your tormented soul. You are a dark child; dark and deep. That you don\u2019t reside within the US is hardly a surprise. As I look into your energy I see a young woman who fell in love with the Goddess Discordia and Her mischievous habit of tossing golden apples about. You were wooed by danger and shadow. The violence of the ocean was your lover. In youth, such things are not only tolerated, but often expected.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately passion and torment always walk hand in hand. One cannot know one emotional extreme without experiencing its wicked twin. And so your life was a lush and raging opera in a world where most only ever know mediocrity and the distraction provided by Taylor Swift singles and trips to Walmart. Pain is a frightening thing. It might not be so much to you, perhaps, but it is to others and the fact is, you scare people. And scary things cannot be tolerated. So you were shut out and being shut out is lonely. Feeling alienated as anyone would, you went to the big minds for fixing. And what idiocy did they prescribe?<\/p>\n

No matter how hard you try, you will never change who you are. The sexual aspect of the situation isn’t some standard behavioral issue to be analyzed, isolated and altered. Those imprints and inner patterns are deeply ingrained. They are part of your primal core. To deny your truth is a dangerous form of repression. Now, it is certainly true that we cannot always follow those intense inner impulses, but one cannot expect to stop their flow.<\/p>\n

There was a quote from the role playing game, Vampire: the Masquerade<\/em> which said “Monsters we are, lest monsters we become.” It’s a variation of a quote by Nietzsche. In denying your inner demons, you risk an eventual blowout. I think you need to give your wild side a break, and let it run off-lead every now and again. Write out what isn\u2019t safe or sane to act out. The demons of your inner kingdom demand a voice. Give it to them. And lose the boyfriend ASAP. It’s one thing to curb the drama for the sake of sanity but you\u2019ve let the pendulum swing way too far in the other direction with this one. You are never going to feel whole in a standard vanilla relationship. There are places where you can find what you\u2019re looking for \u2026 places that embrace danger and passion and insanity within a safe circle of control. Think BDSM. Think Master\/slave.<\/strong><\/a> Study up on the lifestyle and then go forth to relearn yourself.<\/p>\n

Liam<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Do you have a question for Liam? <\/strong>Ask Liam your question now.<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The steadiness and healthiness of a “normal” life and love isn’t a turn on for one woman. Should she risk losing a relationship with a good man? Liam replies.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6533,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[33274,610],"tags":[7,1434,206,10273,7362,74],"cp_author":[2220],"class_list":["post-5907323","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-relationships","category-psychic-questions","tag-astrology","tag-horoscope","tag-relationship-advice","tag-sex","tag-spirituality-religion","tag-tarot","cp_author-psychic-liam-ext-9290"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSex Q&A: Are You Sexually Compatible With Him? | California Psychics<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The steadiness and healthiness of a "normal" life and love isn't a turn on for one woman. 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