{"id":5901699,"date":"2012-12-15T00:00:53","date_gmt":"2012-12-15T08:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/?p=5901699"},"modified":"2016-01-18T08:18:51","modified_gmt":"2016-01-18T16:18:51","slug":"getting-through-a-starter-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/love-relationships\/getting-through-a-starter-marriage.html","title":{"rendered":"Getting Through a Starter Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

Starting Over in Love<\/h4>\n

At this point, society should consider doing away with the \u201ctill death do we part\u201d line in wedding vows. This phrase indicates that one should remain in a hopeless marriage out of obligation, not love. Nowadays, this vow is often broken since 50% of first marriages end in divorce<\/strong><\/a>. Instead, our wedding vows should state \u201cin hopes that our love stays strong and we never part\u201d or a similar statement. So many marriages end in divorce that we now refer to someone\u2019s first marriage as their \u201cstarter marriage\u201d or \u201cpractice marriage,\u201d indicating there will be a second and, perhaps, a third union. If you are one of these divorcees of a starter marriage, you may be wondering how you get through it and what your next steps should be?! To make it as easy as possible, here is what you can try to do to move on with your life and learn from your first marriage:<\/p>\n

1. Separate Everything<\/strong><\/p>\n

Leave with no strings attached to your ex. You must separate all assets physically to even begin to break your emotional ties as well<\/strong><\/a>. Make sure you have divided the following accounts and items fairly:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2022 Bank Accounts
\n\u2022 Investment Accounts
\n\u2022 Vehicle Titles
\n\u2022 Mortgage\/Rental Property
\n\u2022 Furniture
\n\u2022 Pets<\/p>\n

2. Share Your New Identity<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let everyone know that you are divorced and, thus, single now so that your identity is not as a married person still. This will help you move on socially.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Notify your work and\/or school about your newly unmarried status.
\n\u2022 Notify the insurance companies and banks as well.
\n\u2022 Post your status on Facebook.
\n\u2022 Tell all your friends and family.<\/p>\n

3. Reflect and Get Therapy<\/strong><\/p>\n

Talk to a professional about this life-changing experience. Make\u00a0sure to reflect on these aspects of your marriage honestly:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Why it ended
\n\u2022 What did you do (or what could you have done) to prevent a divorce
\n\u2022 Why you got married in the first place
\n\u2022 How you won’t repeat the same mistakes in future relationships
\n\u2022 List what you desire from a new partner. Then, list what you will give to a new partner.<\/p>\n

4. Relieve Stress<\/strong><\/p>\n

No matter how easy\/difficult or long\/short the divorce process, you will likely experience intense stress. Take out your tension in a productive, positive way:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Go to the gym regularly
\n\u2022 Swim in a pool or soak in a\u00a0Jacuzzi\u00a0often
\n\u2022 Walk\/jog around your neighborhood
\n\u2022 Get regular massages, acupuncture treatments, manicures, etc.
\n\u2022 Draw, paint, crochet, knit or try another relaxing pastime
\n\u2022 Play a sport
\n\u2022 Go on a trip out of town to get away.<\/p>\n

5. Move Out and Move On<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let go of your first marriage completely so you can start your next relationship with a healthy beginning. It doesn’t matter if you were dumped or if you initiated the breakup, stop living in the past and start looking towards your future:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Put old wedding photos and mementos in storage
\n\u2022 Move or redesign your home so it feels new
\n\u2022 Un-friend your ex and his family\/friends on Facebook
\n\u2022 Get a makeover so you can look physically refreshed
\n\u2022 Update your wardrobe
\n\u2022 Start dating again!<\/p>\n

6. Get Remarried<\/strong><\/p>\n

If\/when you reach this step, do not rush it. Make sure you know this person is “the one” without a doubt\u2014live together first, travel together first, make love first, share a credit card or bank account first. Basically, do all the things a married couple will do to make sure you are compatible as living partners before you invest in another marriage. Though divorce is always an option, it is a painful and expensive one that can be avoided if you get to know your lover over time before tying the knot.<\/p>\n

Ideally before getting married, one should \u201csow their wild oats,\u201d date different kinds of people, finish their education, and travel before settling down. When one or more of these things are not done, first marriages are more likely to end. Younger couples often divorce because they do not know themselves or their partners well enough before getting married<\/strong><\/a>. So, try not be in a rush to get married because the older you are and the longer you wait to get married, the more likely the marriage will last forever.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At this point, society should consider doing away with the \u201ctill death do we part\u201d line in wedding vows. No one should remain in a hopeless marriage…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6533,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[33274],"tags":[7,1434,10272,206,7362,74],"cp_author":[7596],"class_list":["post-5901699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-relationships","tag-astrology","tag-horoscope","tag-love","tag-relationship-advice","tag-spirituality-religion","tag-tarot","cp_author-california-psychics"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nGetting Through a Starter Marriage | California Psychics<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"At this point, society should consider doing away with the \u201ctill death do we part\u201d line in wedding vows. 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