If you attract nothing but jealous or cheating people, it’s time to deal with the issues of your past. Heal and get ready to trust yourself again. <\/p>\n
Kris from\u00a0Key West asks:<\/p>\n
Your answers are so clear and accurate to the situations. I truly hope you will address my question. I, too, am faced with a cheating fiance, who projected on me with intense jealousy<\/a><\/strong>. Having a past of hurtful men, what is it about me that attracted this situation? I strive to be honest and honorable, yet fall in love with bad men. This one seemed so perfect, but my intuition was blasting me with unease… I hope you can give me some of your healing insight as my tendency is to go inward and beat up on myself for being so stupid.<\/em><\/p>\n Psychic Red ext. 9226<\/a> Responds:<\/strong><\/p>\n Dear Kris,<\/p>\n You can go inward and beat yourself up all you want \u2013 but it\u2019s only going to make things worse, not better. So, I strongly advise that you skip that step, and go straight to the place where you understand that it\u2019s okay to trust yourself far more and deeper than any other man, woman, or child on the planet.<\/p>\n You\u2019re not stupid, Kris. You\u2019re a kind, loving, trusting, sympathetic person. Okay, so you\u2019ve made some bad choices. Who hasn\u2019t? But the more you punish yourself, and the more you feel on some deeper level that you deserve \u201cless than,\u201d you’re increasing your chances of making the same mistakes.<\/p>\n It\u2019s hard to trust your intuition when it comes to your own life. (Trust me, I know\u2026) You\u2019re too close to every situation, and that makes you subjective, not objective. You look at warning signs in terms of \u201chim\u201d and \u201chis issues or flaws,\u201d and your nature compels you to forgive, accept, or overlook some things. So you keep the faith, keep the trust, and the merry-go-round keeps spinning\u2026<\/p>\n Men and women are both predators and prey. We might not like to admit this, but it\u2019s true. Unfortunately, it seems that the predominant predator personalities out there are really good at sizing up whom they can manipulate the most. The relationships you\u2019ve experienced seem to share one very strong common denominator \u2013 all of your loves have been damaged, manipulative souls \u2013 and the pattern has weighted you a bit more on the \u201cprey\u201d side of things. Unfortunately, when the predators find you, your ability to recognize that you’re a good person encourages you to open the door and let them in. You honor love, loyalty, and the goodness that resides in every person, so you tend to disregard your intuition out of your desire of a great, loving partner.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t want to get all Freudian, but some of the issues and hurts you experienced in childhood have influenced your ability to be clearly objective when it comes to matters of the heart. These are issues you can work through. When you do, you will find that your energy shifts and you will be drawing people to you who share a stronger emotional and moral base. You will also learn to recognize the difference between being attracted to the individual or the individual\u2019s potential. You see a lot in people, which is a beautiful thing, but you haven\u2019t quite learned how or when to be wary of those who have yet to grow into their potential.<\/p>\n If there is an up-side to all the bad things you\u2019ve been through and experienced in your search for love, it\u2019s this: Your soulmate is coming. So while you may want to look at things like there\u2019s something that you\u2019re doing wrong or that maybe\u00a0you aren\u2019t meant to have what seemingly comes easily to others, I wouldn\u2019t advise it. All self-flagellation does is give you some kind of justification for brutalizing yourself for not having achieved perfection. Instead, try to recognize that fear and old pain have been your tour guides on your romantic journeys, and fire them.<\/p>\n You have a good life, relationship, and marriage ahead of you. True, you haven\u2019t met the right guy yet, just some pretty crappy placeholders. Since you still have some time to kill before you meet your true mate, take the time to learn how to be gentle with yourself. A therapist or hypnotherapist<\/a><\/strong>, particularly, can help you to release the fear and pain you hold inside, as well as free you from some other concepts that really no longer serve you. Through your transformation, with or without help, you will see and trust people for who they are and what they\u2019ve earned, not who they have the potential to be.<\/p>\n The sooner you learn to trust your gut, the better off and happier you will be. In the meantime, move forward in your life knowing that the suffering you\u2019ve endured in your relationships will be balanced out by broad shouldered, intelligent, successful honey of a reward in 2014!<\/p>\n I do hope this helps you.<\/p>\n Brightest Blessings,<\/p>\n Red<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Do you have a question for Red? Ask Red your question now.<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n