You’ve met the guy of your dreams. He\u2019s handsome, charming, romantic, successful, athletic and more than anything else, he seems to understand you. You have common interests and shared goals and well, if you\u2019re not mistaken (and you\u2019ve been at this a long time), you think you two are headed toward a life of domestic bliss. Then he tells you he wants you to meet his family<\/a><\/strong>\u2014and at first, you\u2019re so excited. Until you do and your white picket fence fantasy turns into a giant nightmare! His mom\u2019s overbearing. His dad\u2019s condescending. His sister has a hand out and his brother\u2019s a misogynistic slacker. What to do when you love your guy but hate the clan he came from? Unfortunately, it\u2019s not a simple situation, but here are a few places to start.<\/p>\n 1. Be sensitive to your sweetie<\/strong><\/p>\n Odds are, your guy is nervous about this relationship (of you, his girl\u2014or guy\u2014with his family). But if his people are crazy\/eccentric\/unwelcoming, odds are he\u2019s heard it before and he knows it. Whether he admits it to you or not, that\u2019s a different story. The point is, let him know you care about him and aren\u2019t judging him based on anyone but himself\u2014after all, you\u2019d want the same respect in return. He needs to know you\u2019re going to love him even if they\u2019re the most embarrassing, awful people in the world and you hate them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 2. Leave your boxing gloves (and fighting words) at home<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s always important to stick up for yourself. However, if you\u2019re dealing with the argumentative parent of the person you\u2019re considering settling down with (or already have), you don\u2019t want to find yourself entangled in unnecessary roughness. Do you really care if you disagree about politics or dinner options? So long as it\u2019s not interfering with your life (and that\u2019s a different story\u2014see number 4), there are a lot of comments you can take in the name of keeping the peace.<\/p>\n “Love and relationships are kind of like jobs, we change constantly until we find that right one that sticks around for the long haul.” – Psychic Lacy ext. 5494<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n 3. Express your feelings to your guy<\/strong><\/p>\n So you\u2019ve shut your mouth at dinner. You’ve even endured comments that felt insulting or talk behind your back. Good on you! But don\u2019t let it simmer. Tell your boyfriend your perspective<\/a><\/strong> on what happened and exactly how you\u2019re feeling\u2014without derogatory words. Never say “I hate your mother!” or “Your father is a jerk!” Instead, say “It makes me feel hurt when x or y happens. What do you think we can do about it?” The answer may be to laugh it off, or see them less frequently, but it\u2019s important that the two of you feel like a team if you\u2019re going to be one.<\/p>\n “Picking your battles is of utmost importance. Sometimes we take things too personally, when in reality 99% of what a person does is not about us.” – Psychic Giovanna ext. 5214<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n 4. Set boundaries<\/strong><\/p>\n Lastly, it\u2019s one thing to tolerate annoying behavior. It\u2019s another to contend with constant interference from his fam. Don\u2019t let yourself be bowled over by their demands or dictates. Be firm, but polite with your limits and if they\u2019re not respected, respond calmly, but accordingly. While you NEVER want to ask your guy to choose between you and the people he came from, you may need to separate yourself from the situation in order to maintain your own sanity.<\/p>\n