{"id":5873857,"date":"2011-06-22T05:00:09","date_gmt":"2011-06-22T12:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/?p=5873857"},"modified":"2011-05-17T17:27:23","modified_gmt":"2011-05-18T00:27:23","slug":"be-a-success-with-grace","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/mind-body-spirit\/be-a-success-with-grace.html","title":{"rendered":"Be a Success With Grace"},"content":{"rendered":"

Don’t We Love to See a Graceful Winner?<\/h4>\n

Success is meaningless. I realize that goes against everything you\u2019ve ever heard, but it\u2019s true. If you plan to drive to school or work and do so you\u2019re a success<\/strong><\/a>. Big deal, huh? You drove to school or work.<\/p>\n

So if success is meaningless, why are so many people driven to achieve it? Why do so many people want success in their lives? It\u2019s not because of the success itself, it\u2019s because of the feelings we experience when we succeed. The feelings of accomplishment, joy, and the way we like admiration<\/strong><\/a> from others when we succeed is just incredible. It causes our bodies to release powerful pleasure hormones. It\u2019s like getting a mood-altering drug. We\u2019re all \u201cfeelings addicts.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s not a bad or good thing, it simply is. When we control our feelings we can use them to help propel us to amazing heights of personal, professional, and societal achievement. This can be good for us, those around us, and even for the planet. It feels great to succeed and we just love those feelings.<\/p>\n

But feelings can be a detriment if we let them control us. In fact, when those feelings control our behaviors to an extreme it may result in issues such as obsessive-compulsive disorder that require professional intervention.<\/p>\n

When it comes to success, sometimes the amazing feelings that accompany it aren\u2019t enough. It\u2019s not enough to feel joy at accomplishment. A dark part of ourselves may crave more.<\/p>\n

Schadenfreude<\/em>. It\u2019s a German word with no English equivalent. It means taking pleasure\u00a0in the pain or misfortune of someone else. When it comes to concepts of success, people who allow feelings of Schadenfreude to control them aren\u2019t content with winning. Others have to lose. The more painful the loss to others the better you feel. It\u2019s not enough that you get a better job, your competition for the job has to work for you or, even better, be fired. And to have even better feelings, you\u2019ll gloat about it, even to the loser\u2019s face. For some people, they can\u2019t succeed unless you lose, and they have to rub it in. It\u2019s the only way they can get the feelings they\u2019re addicted to. Most people who themselves suffer from this either aren\u2019t aware that people don\u2019t like this attitude or don\u2019t care what people think. This can lead to isolation and loneliness. \u201cPeople don\u2019t like me because I\u2019m driven toward success!\u201d<\/p>\n

No. People don\u2019t like you because you seem heartless, vindictive and cruel, even when you succeed. You\u2019re a poor winner.<\/p>\n

Luckily, you can avoid all this beginning with two simple practices:<\/p>\n

1.\tBecome aware of your feelings. Make a simple goal like waking every day for a week at an earlier time and exercising or stretching or reading during the extra minutes. When you succeed at achieving your goal<\/a><\/strong>, how do you feel? Do you feel wonderful over your success or do you need to tell other people and have them compliment you?<\/p>\n

2.\tObserve someone who had a misfortune. Now, imagine that you benefited as a result of that person\u2019s misfortune. Does it make you feel bad, good, or indifferent?<\/p>\n

With these two observations you\u2019ll discover whether you\u2019re internally or externally motivated and whether you need others to fail for you to gracelessly succeed.<\/p>\n

If you find pleasurable feelings from succeeding while others fail, spend a week practicing the \u201cMile in Their Shoes\u201d meditation. Before going to sleep, spend just five minutes imagining what someone who failed feels like. How do they feel in front of their friends and loved ones, as well as not succeeding at their goals? This builds empathy so you no longer need to gloat over others.<\/p>\n

If you found you needed the adulation of others to get positive feelings from success, spend just five minutes a day tuning in to where in your body you think you experience those wonderful feelings. Then, just will it to move to your heart. With a little practice of this technique you can become self-actualized. You\u2019ll no longer need external adulation. You\u2019ll feel wonderful without it and any that comes will be icing on the cake!<\/p>\n

Donald Michael Kraig graduated from UCLA with a degree in philosophy, and has become a certified hypnotherapist and Master NLP practitioner. His book, <\/em>Modern Magick, is the most popular step-by-step course in real magick ever published.<\/em><\/p>\n

What’s ahead for your <\/em>life path?<\/strong> Try a psychic reading. Call 1.800.573.4830<\/span> or choose your psychic now. <\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s great to feel happy when we succeed, but if you realize you feel happy when others fail, it may be time to gain some deeper perspective. If you recognize yourself as a “sore winner,” use these techniques to connect to a deeper sense of compassion and grace.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6533,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[7,2972,1434,31294,7362,10,74,31293],"cp_author":[7596],"class_list":["post-5873857","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mind-body-spirit","tag-astrology","tag-feelings","tag-horoscope","tag-schadenfreude","tag-spirituality-religion","tag-success","tag-tarot","tag-winning","cp_author-california-psychics"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nBe a Success With Grace | California Psychics<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It's great to feel happy when we succeed, but if you realize you feel happy when others fail, it may be time to gain some deeper perspective. 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