{"id":15227,"date":"2010-12-02T05:00:20","date_gmt":"2010-12-02T13:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/?p=15227"},"modified":"2016-05-03T14:39:52","modified_gmt":"2016-05-03T21:39:52","slug":"are-his-exes-really-only-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/psychic-questions\/are-his-exes-really-only-friends.html","title":{"rendered":"Red Responds: Are His Exes Really Only Friends?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kate from Los Angeles asks:<\/p>\n

My boyfriend of two years has two close ex-girlfriends<\/a><\/strong> who he continues to talk to and see on a regular basis. <\/em>I\u2019m uncomfortable with it, because he only tells me about it if I ask him directly.<\/em> He says he would never lie<\/strong><\/a> to me, and that they\u2019re just mutual friends. He also says I\u2019m being too sensitive, and that he could never go back to being with them again. He says he\u2019s \u201cbeen there, done that.\u201d At times, it feels like he\u2019s cheating, and I don’t know if I can handle it. Can women and men be true friends, especially if there was a previous sexual relationship? Should I stay and trust that he is respecting me, or should I go?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Psychic Red ext. 9226<\/a> <\/strong> Responds:<\/p>\n

Dear Kate,<\/p>\n

There are many people who have managed to maintain a friendship in spite of their sexual history. So, yes, it\u2019s possible for men and women to be true and platonic friends. However, not every man, or every woman, is capable of having or maintaining a strictly platonic relationship with a person of the opposite sex, whether or not there has been physical intimacy. It really does depend on the values and personalities of the individuals involved. Because of that, there really isn\u2019t a blanket yes or no answer to that question.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, your boyfriend is one of those personalities who is capable of having platonic friendships with women<\/strong><\/a>, even those he has been intimately involved with in the past. Through his eyes, even though the romantic relationship failed, these women are still important to him. Because of his romantic history with them, he feels a level of trust and closeness to them, and they are relationships he wants to continue to maintain. He really does have the \u201cbeen there, done that\u201d attitude toward each of his exes. Because he knows he doesn\u2019t want any future sexual experiences with either of them, he wants you to have enough faith and trust in him, and your relationship with him, to continue his association with his exes.<\/p>\n

Your boyfriend is loyal to you. He hasn\u2019t cheated on you, nor does it look like he would. However, he really doesn\u2019t understand where your insecurity comes from, because he sees himself as committed to you.\u00a0Even though they are exes, he considers these other women to only be friends. To him, this all makes perfect sense. He doesn\u2019t appreciate how challenging it can be to be standing in your shoes. He also doesn\u2019t seem to understand that his choosing to exclude you from these external relationships creates a level of reasonable suspicion. He more or less seems to want you to trust him implicitly.<\/p>\n

This is something that the two of you can work through if you want the relationship to continue. However, it isn\u2019t going to be an easy resolution. It will take several calmly orchestrated conversations, in which you need to tell him that his external relationships are troublesome to you. Rather than accuse him directly, or indirectly, of cheating, you need to find a way to express that his need of these other female friendships causes you anxiety and pain. Express that he doesn\u2019t need to completely understand why, but he does need to respect that you have these feelings. Try to explain to him that you\u2019re aware of his connection to his exes, and that you understand that not volunteering information about his friendship with them may be his way of trying to be respectful to you\u2014but that this creates pain and suspicion, rather than relief.<\/p>\n

I wish I could tell you that I saw him willingly severing his ties with his exes, but I don\u2019t. The best you can achieve is to be more included, which will help you to feel more certain about his sincerity and loyalty. On the other hand, if you should decide that his friendships are something you just can\u2019t accept or come to terms with, be prepared to be one more of his exes that he will try and keep as a friend.<\/p>\n

I hope this helps you.<\/p>\n

Brightest Blessings,<\/p>\n

Red<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Do you have a question for Red? Ask Red your question now.<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

What’s ahead for your <\/em>love life<\/strong>?<\/strong> Try a psychic reading. Call 1.800.573.4830<\/span> or choose your psychic now. <\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you upset that your significant other is still friends with his exes? Psychic Liam ext. 9290 delves into this issue to see what’s really causing the jealousy and mistrust within ourselves.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6533,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[33274,610],"tags":[2079,256,1365,413,4561,2716,581,5283,4887,3645,4622,1724,3635,234,1280,206,9702,2030],"cp_author":[3578],"class_list":["post-15227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-relationships","category-psychic-questions","tag-boyfriend","tag-cheating","tag-ex","tag-ex-girlfriend","tag-exes","tag-friends","tag-friendship","tag-loyal","tag-loyalty","tag-lying","tag-platonic","tag-platonic-friendship","tag-platonic-relationship","tag-psychics","tag-relationship","tag-relationship-advice","tag-romantic-relationship","tag-sexual-relationship","cp_author-psychic-red-ext-9226"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nRed Responds: Are His Exes Really Only Friends? | California Psychics<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you upset that your significant other is still friends with his exes? Psychic Liam ext. 9290 delves into this issue to see what's really causing the jealousy and mistrust within ourselves.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/psychic-questions\/are-his-exes-really-only-friends.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Red Responds: Are His Exes Really Only Friends? | California Psychics\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Are you upset that your significant other is still friends with his exes? 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