{"id":11494,"date":"2010-09-11T05:00:07","date_gmt":"2010-09-11T12:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.californiapsychics.com\/?p=11494"},"modified":"2010-09-13T09:26:56","modified_gmt":"2010-09-13T16:26:56","slug":"are-you-desperate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/love-relationships\/are-you-desperate.html","title":{"rendered":"Are You Desperate?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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You meet them on a Friday night. They seem well intentioned, but teeming with expectation. They hang around a little too long, or try just a little too hard to get your attention. They don\u2019t seem to notice or care if you seem interested in their friend. They share too much detail about themselves \u2013 particularly the scandalous details \u2013 in some sort of misguided effort to impress. Put simply, they\u2019re desperate, and it\u2019s not pretty. Can you count yourself among them?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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It\u2019s easy to understand how we all wind up feeling desperate sometimes. After all, dating<\/a><\/strong> is no easy game. It can inspire insecurities<\/a><\/strong> even in the most self-assured, especially when you\u2019re at anything shy of your absolute best. Had a rough day at work? You wish there were someone special to come home to. Ditched by a friend on a Friday night? This would be so much easier if you weren\u2019t all alone. The trouble, however, is that these feelings (that we aren\u2019t enough on our own and that somehow, someone else will \u201ccomplete\u201d us) can lead us to settle for someone who isn\u2019t particularly special \u2013 or if nothing else, just not right for us. Here are three signs that you\u2019re desperate, and what to do to change that \u2013 for good!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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You Assess Everyone You Meet<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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If you find yourself sizing up everyone you meet as a potential partner \u2013 whether they\u2019re available or not \u2013 you need to take a step back. Going after someone else\u2019s guy or girl is a dangerous game, no matter how much you tell yourself you have in common. And even if someone is single, it doesn\u2019t necessarily mean you\u2019re a potential match. There has to be mutual interest, a hint of chemistry and at least a few things in common.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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The bottom line is that if you\u2019re casting your net for anyone willing to jump in, odds are you\u2019re going to attract some sharks. And even if the fish you catch aren\u2019t exactly predatory, there\u2019s no doubt they\u2019ll mirror your motivations (insecurity), which has a way of making people bring out the worst in each other.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Instead of hoping everyone might be the one, learn to distinguish between real potential and your projection. When two people feel a real attraction to each other, they both know it \u2013 and you won\u2019t question it. Nor will you have to keep it a secret from anyone (like their significant other or your friends)!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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You Can\u2019t Be Yourself<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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If you adopt a persona when you\u2019re out in the company of those you deem potential partners, it\u2019s a sign there could be a problem. Why? When you pretend to be someone you\u2019re not in hopes of attracting amour, it smacks of desperation. Even if the people you\u2019re talking to don\u2019t instantly see that you\u2019re faking it, they\u2019ll probably sense something is off about you. And on the off chance that you do fool someone into dating this person you\u2019re pretending to be, it\u2019s not really you in the relationship\u2026 The two of you will eventually uncover this inconvenient truth (in addition to being caught by them, you will, at some point, find yourself tiring of the charade), and the results may be disastrous. Whether you realize it or not, you\u2019re betraying yourself \u2013 and anyone who starts a relationship with you \u2013 when you put up a dishonest front.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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The bottom line is this case is that you can\u2019t expect to find love when you\u2019re inauthentic. Whether it\u2019s lying about your likes or your life, pretending to be someone you think someone else will want only ensures one thing: You won\u2019t like yourself.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Instead of focusing on wanting a mate (any mate \u2013 or just a date!), take some time to figure out what it is that you want in a partner and a relationship. Work on being the person you want to meet rather than becoming someone you\u2019re not.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>You Put Finding \u201cThe One\u201d Above All Else<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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If your desire to find \u201cthe one\u201d fills your thoughts 24\/7, taking precedence over your career<\/a><\/strong>, your friendships and your own personal fulfillment outside of a relationship (you know, interests and hobbies), there\u2019s a very good chance you\u2019re putting too much emphasis on it \u2013 and coming off as desperate as a result. The bottom line in this case is that the old saying is true: it takes two complete halves to make one good whole. Focus on being fulfilled by the things you can control, and the love you deserve will come to you. Focus on finding love without working on yourself, and you\u2019ll only find someone as incomplete as you are\u2026<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Focus on finding love without working on yourself, and you\u2019ll only find someone as incomplete as you are\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6533,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[33274],"tags":[1296,1743,2702,2696,206,10273,1410,445],"cp_author":[7596],"class_list":["post-11494","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-relationships","tag-career","tag-divorce","tag-friendships","tag-job","tag-relationship-advice","tag-sex","tag-single","tag-soulmate","cp_author-california-psychics"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAre You Desperate? | California Psychics<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Focus on finding love without working on yourself, and you\u2019ll only find someone as incomplete as you are\u2026\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.californiapsychics.com\/blog\/love-relationships\/are-you-desperate.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Are You Desperate? 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