Psychic Spencer: How to Handle a Problematic Coworker

 Don’t Fuel the Angry Fires of a Problematic Coworker!

Cattiness.
Gossip.
Childish competition.
Jealousy.

If you think it is happening around you in the workplace, it probably is. Human behavior is such that work environments are going to have all levels of maturity in them. Coworkers, unfortunately, spend a great deal of time not supporting each other. Sometimes, a problematic coworker actively undermines another coworker intentionally.

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If it’s happening to you, it must be really frustrating. But you still have to handle this situation the right way. You can actually direct the outcome of this situation and make it positive, with the right intentions, energy and thoughts.

Responding With Emotions

If you let your emotions get in the way, you’re making a big mistake. If you engage the instigator with your own brand of negativity, you will feel more stressed out. And if you run to your boss to complain about the other person, you could be taking yourself out of the running for a promotion. There’s a better course of action!

Wu Wei

Wu Wei is a Taoist principle. It’s the idea that non-action is the best action and it’s certainly better than emotional reaction. If a problematic coworker is saying nasty things about you or trying to undermine you, just let it go. Be unaffected. Let it blow through you like smoke through a screen.

Easier Said Than Done?

Admittedly, this is often easier said than done for a lot of people. But think of it this way: Wu Wei means not adding energy to the situation. It’s like not adding fuel to a fire. A small fire can’t grow into a blazing inferno if it doesn’t have the fuel to do so. This means you have the power to keep a little nastiness from turning into something huge. You are not giving it the momentum it needs. If enough time passes, the situation will diffuse because is can’t thrive on the anger and bitterness of one person.

Diffuse the Situation

Here’s exactly what you need to do to diffuse the situation when a problematic coworker is trying to start trouble:

1. Stay calm and emotionally neutral—no matter what! Most managers don’t want to get involved in personality conflicts.

2. Ignore their comments. Your problematic coworker will get a charge if you respond to them in anger. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

3. Don’t talk about other coworkers behind their backs. You know what it feels like to be targeted by a problematic coworker, so why would you do that to someone else in return?

4. You’re a target because they’re jealous. And they’re jealous because they have low self-esteem. You need to be the one to act like an adult, so disengage and don’t react to their juvenile ways.

5. Your strength is with the Divine. Ask for spiritual support to keep you strong and to help you diffuse the situation with the problematic coworker. You will be assisted.

6. Call me. I know what your options are and I can see how things will turn out based on how you choose to handle this situation.

When you learn how to use your thoughts and energy to eliminate problems with coworkers, you can change your work experience for the better!

Spencer

13 thoughts on “Psychic Spencer: How to Handle a Problematic Coworker

  1. arise

    This works well for unintended slights or honest disagreements, but not with the so-called “passive warrior”. If you have to deal with this person regularly, non-action only encourages them to ramp up their attacks. Lack of reaction is seen as passivity at best, or worse, an invitation for further victimization.

    I had this problem with an employee of a store I regularly shopped in. Finally I went to the manager and asked to discuss it. He called her in and I said, how have I caused you to treat me unkindly? What can I do differently so that we can be on friendly terms when I shop here? She had no answer, just sat there fuming. She avoided me for a while, eventually making an effort to be polite.

    On my next visit a different employee asked to speak with me outside. She hugged me and thanked me for speaking up! Apparently the mean lady was mean to everyone. She had “special protection” from her married boss, so her co-workers were afraid to say anything.

    Reply
  2. thosa

    yeah now it is happening already, and i think, i need to go and resigned from my work. and find another employer. thank you for the tips that you send to me. it helps me a lot. I think this coworker of mine would like to be in my position, well i will give it to her. i will not defend myself against her, just like what you said, stay calm.

    Reply
  3. Alan Adams

    When will my career begin to have successful results.
    I was laid off from my current employer when will be called back and will my employment
    be successful.
    I have worked for a utility company as a temporary.Will I be considered for employment
    with the company now and in the future.
    Also I worked for a rail road,will I able to go back to work for this company.
    What does my future hold regarding my career,what steps should I take.

    Sighn Virgo 9/21/1961

    Reply
  4. Stephanie

    I do understand this, but I’ve been dealing with this problem for a years. I was promoted to a position where I had to work with her, but she always told people I did not know anything. I was always doing the wrong things and I never listened to her. Then she received a promotion to become the General Manager and it just got worse. She would stare at me and laugh plus ruined my character to not only my coworkers but community. She threatened me and my job in the same meeting and the Human Resource Manager did not do anything about it. She is a Bully at work and there is nothing I can do because I work for a Federally recognized Tribe. She had already ruined my reputation and work ethic to them. so I have been going the other direction for years, but it does get overwhelmingly tiring and I’m about fed up.

    Reply
  5. Ms Deon

    yes i have a cleaning service and i do post cleaning im working with this project manger he said two week a go dont bit off the hand that feed you then said be quited and get back to work for him to be a leader and work for a big company it dispointed me how he was talking to me pluse it hurted me i never disrespect him or his co- work i just didnt no were he get off talking to a bussiness owner like myself like that. i did like you said stay calm and said please dont disrespect me like that by talking loud to me and saying all those thing to me.please help me how deal with him.

    Reply
  6. Robin

    Yeah, that’s very good advice. Plus by not reacting in a negative way, IF the coworker keeps it up, they’re basically burning their own bridges with others by showing others how they are. Either way, it’s a win/win for the one it’s being done to.
    I had that problem once with someone, and I reacted in A VERY BAD, AGGRESSIVE way. Well, the next time it happened, I recorded it, because I felt like I kept having to defend myself against this other girls antics. Anyway, when I went BACK and listened to that recording, I was ashamed of myself. I NEVER acted that way again, and I could clearly see HOW the one who had been making my work life miserable WAS WINNING by bringing that ugly reaction out of me. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. I actually apologized to HER and to the others who were there FOR MY PART in the outburst. I told them all that I should NOT have acted that way, and it wouldn’t happen again. Don’t think that girl didn’t test me either, she did, and I ignored her. COMPLETELY. She eventually stopped because everybody started separating themselves from her, realizing that she just wanted everybody else to be as insecure and miserable as she was. SO IT DOES WORK to just ignore them, or kill em with kindness 🙂

    Reply
  7. jula

    thank you for the article. It is not just co-workers, but all relationship can be affected by
    jealousy, cattiness, and gossip, even your closest friends.

    But I agree to take the ‘high road’ and ignore the moods of others, unless I know that I
    have actually done something to aggravate or irritate them. Taking a time out from such
    people is the best recourse, they’ll soon look for another person to find fault with as they
    are generally people who have low self-esteem themselves. Being with a toxic person can
    have the effect of rubbing off on you and then others will avoid you as well. So stay in the
    company of positive people and ignore the critical, negative people as much as possible.

    Reply
  8. Diane Willis

    What if the problematic person is your immediate boss. She leaves you dangling on things she really should be the one to take care of the problem. This happens a lot. Do I go above her to her boss and person in charge of whole office where I have not gotten any where with her?

    Reply
  9. Psychic -Quinn ext. 5484

    Wisdom from the wise. Excellent article Spencer…

    So many call with these concerns. Great article to reference those troubled co-workers to.
    Buddha Bless,
    -quinn

    Reply

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