Does Your Boss Like You?

Are Friendly Relations Important for Office Relations?

I get asked a lot from women if their boss likes them. As an empath, that’s not really a hard question. I channel other people’s feelings as if they were mine. No problem. That’s what I do. But I have a question for my beautiful sisters—why do you care if your boss “likes” you? Herein lies a really big problem. This is the social confusion between business relationships and personal relationships. Let’s figure this out together, OK?

Your boss is not your friend, sister, mother, grandmother, or priest. This is a business relationship. You are in their life to make them money and build a secure financial future for them. The next step is to make yourself money and build a secure financial future for yourself. If you make them money and make them crazy as little as possible, they will like you. I like people who make me money. Don’t you like people who make you money? If you give your boss an honest day’s work and steer clear of a few land mines that I’m going to share with you, you’ll be fine. I promise. Your boss will need you. Which, in business, is a much more secure future. Trust me on this one.
Let’s learn what these nasty little landmines are. Then, let’s learn how to avoid them.

1. Your Boss is Not Your Friend

When your boss asks, “How are you?” she’s not being very honest. It’s really not a big concern. She’s being polite. So if she isn’t being honest with you, don’t be honest with her, either. This is always a safe thing to say: “I’m fine. Thank you for asking. How are you?”

2. Your Boss is Not Your Sister

She doesn’t want to hear how you are being picked on, run over, forgotten about, talked over, lost your turn, or how you were trumped. She can’t fix this. She doesn’t want to listen. She doesn’t want or need to hear how you hate your hair, make up, clothes, stummy, hips or butt. And NO gossiping.

3. Your Boss is Not Your Mother

She’s not here to doctor your boo-boos or wipe your nose. She needs people on her staff that can take care of their own boo-boos and prefer to wipe their own noses. Think of it like this: she wants to come home from work and see that all your chores are done and all your homework is finished. On a good day, you make dinner. She’s looking for initiative. She needs a big girl.

4. Your Boss is Not Your Grandmother

She doesn’t want to hear anything about all the business opportunities your’ve missed or blown up. Bake your own cookies. If you feel like crying, go to the powder room, suck it up and go make some money. That will make you feel better. Making money makes me feel better.

5. Your Boss is Not Your Priest

She’s not your “Father-Confessor.” As you unburden your soul about all the bad choices you’ve made, you are single-handedly destroying your career. Over-sharing is a BAD thing. In business, confession is not good for the soul.

Your boss needs few things from you on a daily basis.

– Start a little early.

– Stay a little late.

– Finish what you start.

– Take responsibility for your success and failures like a lady.

– Do your part to keep the lights on and the doors open.

Your boss will like you. Wouldn’t you like an employee like this?

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17 thoughts on “Does Your Boss Like You?

  1. Clods

    I am glad I don’t live in America if this is how people are treated there. Not all places of work are about making money – there are many different places to work. I am proud to say I do care about the people I work with, and I am genuinely interested in them and their lives. I didn’t attend a work collegue’s mothers funeral because I felt obliged to, and because it would help me make money – it was about supporting a collegue and a friend.

    Its sad if people get lost in what they do and forget who they are.

    Reply
  2. Tara Leesa Davis

    I totally agree with you! When you go to work, you leave all your baggage outside the door – you never take it in with you! Businesses are to make money and you are part of the business machine! You go in and do your very best with your work – you give 100% minimum! You do not gossip – even on your lunch break! Your co-workers are not your friends, they are simply your acquaintances and co-workers. You can and should be pleasant with them but they are not your friends! To have a friend and to be a friend takes many years! You are there to make money for the company -no matter what position you are in – be it manager, assistant manager, stockroom or even cleaning personnel or salesperson. You do what you are told to do and, if you can and want to, do a little more but always do your best! The bottom line is money – for everyone concerned! Business is business! Oh, and always have a smile on your face and be pleasant – very important! I think you presented it perfectly!

    Reply
  3. Uzumaki Desu

    Ivy, I just wanted to comment on your comment:
    “As an empath,…. I channel other people’s feelings as if they were mine. No problem. That’s what I do. ”

    I am also an empath, and you are the only other one I have ever heard say it, the way it really is:
    “I channel other people’s feelings as if they were mine.” It is nice to know someone else experiences this.
    Somedays, I don’t even know WHO I AM, because I work and live in a family of narcissiic, mean, sarcastic,
    selfish people, and I have been CHANNELING those feelings for 3 years in this position.
    I wake up and I am 6 different, evil people. I have pretty much LOST myself, other than the fact I know in my
    heart, everything I am feeling day to day is NOT me. Everything I am expressing is NOT me, and I NEVER
    acted this way until I moved in as a nanny for these people. Anyway, In lines with your aritcle, does my boss like me? I can tell you when she does and when she doesn’t because I AM HER. HA! And at this point
    I really wish there was a way out of here for me, but I also know, empathically, they want me
    here as a nanny till the kids are teenagers. I just READ that(empathically/telepathically) from her in the last week. So, I guess on some level she likes me a lot, no matter what she says or does daily, because she sees me here for at least another 6 years!!! Sheesh. Anyway thanks for the article and the place to comment. Sorry if it was kind of ranting… I don’t know how to to much else these days (LOL)

    Reply
  4. kroo

    In my many years as an employee and boss and coworker, I have found it is best to keep work/business at work/business and home/relationships at home/relationships. When the two start to mix, there will be additional issues/variables that need to be kept in their respective places. However, given that, it is also my experience that some bosses/superiors are not trained to be ‘leaders’ so to speak and do not have the qualities of a governor. re; ‘the best governors, do not govern’, or something along those lines. Its always best to be a team player, regardless what your title is and keep the work place a place of work, not a place to ‘socialize’. We all make friends at work and thats to be expected but its better to keep those relationships out of the work place.
    I think this article is just a guideline on how to handle a boss that may only be interested in business and nothing more, as it should be. It is best to keep our attitudes, opinions, feelings, or any other personal emotional sides out of the work place. A good leader knows how to do that. Just my thoughts.
    peace and love to all
    k

    Reply
  5. Tennisgirl43

    What ever you do dont quit your job Mirrors- You are very fortunate. Unfortunately I do agree with what was said. I have been in a high ranked business position for 25 years and you dont know how many times I have told an employee to go to the bathroom for a few, then clean up and get back on the floor, because if they dont want to, some one else does and with the job market as bad as it is- I say no more- Business is business and it should never become personal. The last 5 points are right on the nose.

    Reply
  6. 78mirrors

    “If you feel like crying, go to the powder room, suck it up and go make some money. That will make you feel better. Making money makes me feel better.”

    What a terrible thing to state. As an empath myself, I find it difficult to believe that these words were written by an empath.

    I do not like this article nor do I agree with it. The author paints a picture of all bosses being cold, unsympathetic, stoic, automatons driven by greed. Not all bosses are such impersonal robots, Ivy. These are terribly broad -and unfair- generalizations. I’ve had many great bosses who have genuinely cared about the welfare of their employees. I happen to be a great boss who genuinely cares about the welfare of my employees.

    This is the 1st time in my years as a client that I have ever been repulsed by an article here.

    Reply
  7. misskrystalmisskrystal

    This is just a wonderful post. Thanks, Ivy.
    I always say, “Be yourself” and your “best self”– just like we should be in all of our relationships. If we pretend to be someone else, it’s hard to really, “Connect” –
    Thanks again. Miss Krystal

    Reply
  8. Lia Buda

    dear Ivy, I really wish to live in a country where all the things you mentioned above are functional and effective, in keeping a good image for a woman. believe me, people are subjective – this, and much more, when they are on a manager chair. unfortunately this became an obvious truth for the last 1-2 years. and the situation is all set to require from us almost double amount of work, to be appreciated as well as a man. and so on. nothing nice about it.

    Reply
  9. Faith ext. 9608Faith ext. 9608

    Another great article by you Ivy! I appreciate how you approached this subject and articulated clear and practical advice. Very nice, thank you!

    Blessings, Faith ext. 9608

    Reply

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