Sex Q&A: Understand Your Sexual Power

Connect to Your Inner Goddess or Not

Shayla from Minneapolis, Minnesota asks:

I was married for eight years, have two children and had a series of affairs that ended with my divorce. I felt that my sexual affairs helped me leave the marriage. I have been divorced for three years, and I’m in a great relationship with someone who meets my desires in a relationship. I’m an adult entertainer. I entertain gentlemen, most of whom are married and have children. Most of them want to be entertained by a beautiful woman in secret and feel that it’s actually healthy for their marriages. I don’t trust men because of this. I’m experiencing feelings of distrust towards my boyfriend, and fear that he will want to be secretly entertained by beautiful women, whether it be porn, stripping or in person. I’m constantly watching my boyfriend to see if he looks at other women when in public, and if he even glances at a woman I freak out. I recognize my issues in this, and I really love my boyfriend. What should I do?

Liam’s Response:

Greetings, Shayla, and thank you for this thought-provoking inquiry. One of the most riveting and potent forms of revelation in regard to human nature resides in the murky realms of sexual expression. People who are able to experience the sweltering dichotomy of control and submission, to surrender the shackled perception of social control via the vehicle of a sensual art are indeed beings without illusion. However, when someone like yourself enters into what is essentially a sacred office with severe issues of control and possession, it can often be a tragic and demoralizing experience for everyone involved.

In your work, you have learned what most women only guess at. Male sexual nature is raw and without remorse. Even the most moral and demure man, who loves his wife and family dearly, will creep away to purchase time with an enchantress of the midnight hours in some form. In antiquity, the priestesses of Aphrodite were also the temple courtesans, and sexual favors were sought with them as a way to commune with the Goddess herself. It was a very powerful, very moving experience for a man. These sorts of sexual initiations emerge from the deepest levels of the reptilian brain, nestled deep in genetic memory. To this day, men seek out such divine experiences. The act is a holy one, even if the man himself doesn’t quite understand what that trip to the booby bar actually means. Camille Paglia called it worship at the shrine of the female, and that’s exactly what it is. Despite the idealistic crusaders who jump up waving protest flags and screaming no, no, no…

As for you, Shayla, you have some very severe control issues not to mention more than a bit of hypocrisy about you. You’re attempting to maintain a very serious and ancient office without giving it the respect it deserves. Men come to you seeking a spiritual liaison. In you, they seek to catch a glimpse of their long lost Mother Goddess, and you fail them by taking their sexuality lightly and being judgmental of them as human beings. Then you go home and fail your lover. You want to domesticate him, because you don’t want a man, you want a eunuch – a slave. And yes, I am being hard on you. I’m being hard on you, because unlike so many other people you know better. You know you only have two options. You can reclaim your genetic birthright as a woman and priestess and let the Goddess teach you the doctrine of submission in her service. Or you can quit. Leave the adult industry, and find some other occupation while pretending the men in your life can be made into drooling servants complete with abolished sexual functions. Either change or leave the position. You cannot have both. If you choose the first option, some serious time spent in traditional Tantric studies with perhaps some work as a Tantric healer would be helpful. You might diminish that ranting patriarchal god in your brain by reading poetry and dancing naked in the rain while you elevate the Goddess by finding out what she is to you, in ritual, in belief and in myth. If you decide on option number two, your control issues will destroy your relationship. He‘ll be gone within a year. The choice is yours.

Liam

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7 thoughts on “Sex Q&A: Understand Your Sexual Power

  1. Rose Cocca

    i think i know what they talking..i do think sometimes you are useing me for sex.. we never talk..you are always ready for action..im not liked that..you dont have to prove to me about anything..i love you for what you are ..in my eyes you very kind man and smart…and loveable..but you dont know how to show it….i can show my anger only when people get me to that point..but then i forget what it was albout…

    Reply
  2. capricorncapricorn

    Liam,
    The advice you give here is inconsistent with a previous recent article by Eric Leech entitled “Financial Infidelity: Recover From a Cheating Partner,” which discusses how harmful it is to a marriage for a husband to secretly spend marital money in order to continue his secret addictions to pornography, visiting strip clubs, having an affair, or whatever unpleasant origin the addiction may be stemming from.

    Here is a woman who has seen first-hand how married husbands with children are misbehaving secretly. Naturally, she is uncomfortable with this behavior, as all women are. I caught my husband visiting a strip club, and I’m currently 8 months pregnant. I feel extremely hurt and betrayed. Your advice is to accept that men look at pornography and that it’s natural? If it’s natural, why are women so upset by this behavior, which we view as cheating? What is a wife for, if not for him to channel his sexuality to her exclusively? How is this not cheating for him to pay to seek out other nude women instead of going to his wife for his intimate sexual pleasure/viewing?

    The marriage vows state, “Will you take her to be your lawful wedded wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, cleave only unto her, so long as you both shall live?” This means that his sexual desire is to be channeled exclusively to his wife. Ignoring her while paying and looking at other nude women is breaking the marriage vows, which is cheating. This is not what we agreed to when we got married, and it’s unfair to change the terms of the contract after we’ve invested so much of our lives into the relationship with children involved as well. Why is his beautiful wife not enough to satisfy his sexual needs? She should be, and that’s what he agreed to when he married her. Looking at pornography is not “worshipping females” either. It’s a form of cheating on your spouse. Your wife IS the female he should worship and cherish as a husband, as stated in the marriage vows.

    Reply
  3. capricorncapricorn

    Liam,
    The advice you give here is inconsistent with a previous recent article by Eric Leech entitled “Financial Infidelity: Recover From a Cheating Partner,” which discusses how harmful it is to a marriage for a husband to secretly spend marital money in order to continue his secret addictions to pornography, visiting strip clubs, having an affair, or whatever unpleasant origin the addiction may be stemming from.

    Here is a woman who has seen first-hand how married husbands with children are misbehaving secretly. Naturally, she is uncomfortable with this behavior, as all women are. I caught my husband visiting a strip club, and I’m currently 8 months pregnant. I feel extremely hurt and betrayed. Your advice is to accept that men look at pornography and that it’s natural? If it’s natural, why are women so upset by this behavior, which we view as cheating? What is a wife for, if not for him to channel his sexuality to her exclusively? How is this not cheating for him to pay to seek out other nude women instead of going to his wife for his intimate sexual pleasure/viewing?

    Reply
  4. capricorncapricorn

    Liam,
    The advice you give here is inconsistent with a previous recent article by Eric Leech entitled “Financial Infidelity: Recover From a Cheating Partner,” which discusses how harmful it is to a marriage for a husband to secretly spend marital money in order to continue his secret additions to pornography, visiting strip clubs, having an affair, or whatever unpleasant origin the addiction may be stemming from.

    Here is a woman who has seen first-hand how married husbands with children are misbehaving secretly. Naturally, she is uncomfortable with this behavior, as all women are. I caught my husband visiting a strip club, and I’m currently 8 months pregnant. I feel extremely hurt and betrayed. Your advice is to accept that men look at pornography and that it’s natural? If it’s natural, why are women so upset by this behavior, which we view as cheating? What is a wife for, if not for him to channel his sexuality to her exclusively? How is this not cheating for him to pay to seek out other nude women instead of going to his wife for his intimate sexual pleasure/viewing?

    Reply
  5. aimee

    I am proudly a Tantric Healer, I am finally grounded in my work work and deeply understand the Goddess energies that passes through me. I honor my strict boundaries for personal and physical respect.
    I now in a relationship I require ‘sacred sexuality’ deeply rooted in trust and respect.
    The greatest thing we can give another is to allow them to be themselves and be honest.
    He will be a lucky man… that man of mine. Till then… as my saying goes…
    “I am so honored to share this intimate space – my sensual flow with gentlemen who benefit and appreciate me. I am so grateful for each of my clients and feel valued and supported in return.”
    I do believe I should be wife approved. I send them home, safe and sound and clean and well explored educated and spiced.
    I love your articles Liam. They remind me of… what I would say.

    Reply

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