Sex Q&A: The Game of Seduction

Lisann asks:

My first real lover has been a good friend for thirty years. Now we’re both in the process of ending our current marriages. My first love seems to be extremely interested for me to become his girlfriend. Also, I think he might be sort of a high-priced gigolo. He’s been with a lot of women, and is extremely sexual. I feel sexually naive in comparison, and a little intimidated. Apparently, I made quite the impression thirty years ago. Perhaps he’s just fascinated that I was almost a virgin at the time.

Liam’s Response:

Lisann, thank you for writing. Your situation is indeed an interesting one. As I’ve pointed out more than once, things are usually not as they appear in the jungle of desire. Most of our mating dances, conducted there amid the shadows and steam, take the form of ritual dramas. We act out roles and fabricate enticements in order to secure the object of our desire. Though we speak of honesty in relationships, it’s always with the honey of hypocrisy wet upon our lips. Men are especially endowed with chameleon talents. No matter what his ultimate agenda is, when a man wants to impress a woman, the peacock feathers are coming out in full fan.

I have looked closely at this man, and I believe that I understand him very well. Make no mistake—he’s posturing for you, my dear… He’s striking a pose, and then watching to gauge his impact. The idea is to glamour you—intimidate you, even. Because you’re more limited in actual experience, he’s decided to invoke the libertine as an archetype. His instinct tells him that this appeals to you on many levels. Men who seduce successfully know they must disrupt a woman’s sense of stability, and so he has endeavored to make you starstruck with all his supposed conquests. Your insecurity allows him to move you according to his plan. Make no mistake, it’s just posturing. He hasn’t had nearly the amount of experience he pretends. He plays the part of the major stud because he knows the idea that many other women lust after him but you’re the one he’s always wanted is a total ego trip for you. Indeed, half of what you say in your letter sounds more like bragging to me than complaining.

Understand this: You may have had only a few lovers, but your true nature is that of the coy seductress. You could easily enchant any lover you desired… It just so happened that you never desired many. What does that matter? The quantity of lovers a person has had is no indication of their sexual prowess. In fact, it is often just the opposite. For the truly talented in bed are not a commodity often dropped for another to pick up. In your case, it wouldn’t matter if you had had “no” lovers ever. Even years ago, as a veritable virgin, you were so potent in that department that he’s never forgotten you. It’s you who are the talented one. Even with all his so-called experience, he knows you’re more than a match for him.

Boys need to play their games, but women should know better. Let him prance and preen and tell you tales of his conquests. Be awe-struck and ever-so-impressed—even intimidated. Then take him to bed, and show him what a Pisces girl is capable of. He’s not the player he pretends to be. Once you’ve reeled him in, he’s never going to stray far. See, either you’ve got it or you don’t… And you’ve got it. He knows it. Now, never let him forget it.


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One thought on “Sex Q&A: The Game of Seduction

  1. Bonnie

    My birth date is November 22 and my friends is December 21, do you think were sexually compatable and if so do you think it will last?


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