Sex Q&A: Ditch the Game Players

Men can be relationship players at all ages. Psychic Liam says to get rid of him early and helps to explore why you so badly want a man in your life.

They’re Older, But That Doesn’t Mean They’re Wiser

Barbara from York, South Carolina asks:

I am an older reader on this site, and have been involved with a man who is the biggest test of my integrity ever in my life. I would like to know your take on why men in their late 50s and early 60s, most of whom have been married at least once, tend to be game players. You would think by this stage in life that they would know what respect is for someone who has an attraction for them. A lot of these men are on online dating sites, writing very detailed descriptions of what they seek in a partner, and when they find one that fits all the things they say they desire, they push the woman’s self-esteem to the breaking point, make false accustions (which by the way are descriptions of their own problems), and then tell the woman she doesn’t trust a relationship. It’s very hard to build trust when the foundation is so flawed. I would be most interested in your idea of why men this age are wasting the last best years they have on such nonsensical behavior.

Liam’s Response:

Greetings, Barbara. I’m certain your experience is shared by many and, hopefully, I can put the issue into perspective. I warn you, a lot of my explanation will not be terribly palatable. Still I sense that you are tougher than most and I believe you will be able to take my observations on the matter and apply them in a fashion that will be advantageous. Just remember, it doesn’t do any good to become wrathful or despondent over the dictates of nature. What I’m about to discuss has nothing to do with what is fair or right or just. As Sergeant Barnes in the great cinema classic Platoon so wisely observed, “There’s the way it ought to be… and there’s the way it is.”

What you’re experiencing with these gentlemen is simply a matter of value placement in sexual selection. As I’ve said before, in general, men will not choose sexual monogamy unless they are given no other option. And in the case where monogamous patterns are established by theological or cultural protocol, men will usually prefer to mate with women much younger than themselves because the younger the woman the more children she may potentially give birth to. It doesn’t matter that he has no plans to have children. Common sense has precious little to do with the matter. The testicles rule this game and the beast buried in the subconscious steers the ship. I understand that most men in the age group you’re talking about have already married, mated and had offspring… But make no mistake, the only reason they’re dating women in their own age bracket is because they feel they have no other choice. If they were men of significant means or social power or were famous artists of any kind, believe me, they wouldn’t be on dating sites nor would they be considering partners over forty. The men you’re talking to would much rather be talking to 21 year olds and if you were 21, they’d treat you a good deal better… because they’d have to. You see, men don’t generally like women as people, Barbara. There’s a whole host of social, cultural and theological reasons for that particular mess. I won’t go into it all here but suffice it to say that when these men were younger and the women they pursued were of breeding age, they had to play nice in order to get laid and maintain a reasonably peaceful home. Now those days have passed and suddenly they find young girls aren’t an option anymore. Time and their own socio-economic positions force them to accept older partners which they tend to view as lesser or lower quality choices. They resent this reminder of their mortality. They resent having to date within their own age group and thus they feel entitled to treat you like dirt.

Now you, Barbara, and all the other women out there of maturity and sophistication, deserve far better than you’re getting. Why on earth would you subject yourself to anyone who would test your ethics and standards as a human being? Why play some silly game based on rules that cater to the whims of male objectification? What you really need to do is take a good hard look at yourself and find out why it’s so important that you have a man in your life? Is it really worth your self-respect? Once upon a time, women of age were the great crones, the holy women and elders of the tribe. Revered, honored and protected, they were the ones who kept the secrets of magic and gave counsel. Stop dishonoring yourself. You hold a birth right far more potent than anything a man can give you. But if you insist on continuing to look for one… please make it a good one. Stay away from dating sites. Very seldom will you find men of wisdom and maturity who have overcome their biological limitations and learned to enjoy women as actual people as well as pretty faces and inviting bodies, hanging out on one of those. When you do meet a man that interests you, make friends with him first, and consider dating him only after he has proved himself both respectful and worthy. Modern society takes value away from older women and I doubt it’ll be giving much back any time soon. You have to learn to value yourself. With that in mind, and with your own good sense, I see that better times… and better men… are headed your way.

Do you have a question for Liam? Ask Liam your question now.

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

How can you get rid of the gamers in your life? Talk to a psychic and find out how. Call 1.800.573.4830 or choose your psychic now.

54 thoughts on “Sex Q&A: Ditch the Game Players

  1. Tiana

    Oh dear! God help the women of America if the men are so shallow and immature. All I can say is thank God I’m English and live in England. The majority of our older men are not interested in bimbos whom they cannot relate to. They value a women of intelligence and older women can be beautiful, fun, sexy; and wise. Women are looking after their health and staying younger in this 21st century. And older women don’t have to be lonely – old crones!! lol. silly Liamx .

    Reply
  2. Jennifer

    Since the man I was engaged to marry passed away exactly 5 years ago May 13/07- I had the most heart breaking experience of my life. It was being treated like I would never be good enough, rich enough or ‘stable’ enough to be in a committed relationship to a man I started seeing. I trusted this man 5 years older than me because he actually stopped by to see me after hearing about my loss from my older brother who lives far away but we had all grown up together in a nice neighborhood. I guess I should have known better but at first we had fun together then he started putting me down and I couln not understand his cruelty that changed rapidly. He really only wanted sex and I ended up so hurt and used I’m still getting over it. I sold my house as he asked me to move in with him and 2 weeks before the move he changed his mind. On and on with his on off on games. After losing a stable loving relationship prior to him I almost lost everything including my self esteem to abusive behavior. I feel stupid and old.

    Reply
  3. Dorothy

    Sorry Ladies but Liam is correct, and he’s not saying that men are shallow, he’s saying that this is biological, they can’t help it. I have been told by men friends that most men want younger women and if you don’t believe that take a look at famous people in the media they’re almost all with younger women, unless the women has money such as JLo, you can buy almost anyone with that, such as younger men, that end up leaving you eventually. I’ve been on dating sites off and on since my early 40s and most men won’t even date someone in their 40’s let alone the age I am now which is 60. Mary, how much are you spending on your 24-26 year olds, come on!! And if you’re not buying them than they’re hitting on you because they know they can get sex without kids or a serious relationship. Hell I can go on a Cougar site and get all sorts of young men but I don’t want just sex, I want love and a relationship. I’ve even had a younger male friend of mine write up my online profile and he wanted to put in there that I may be an older women but I’m not “dried up” get the picture!

    Reply
  4. Marlene (from Conn)

    Hi there folks, I just wanted to say that I enjoyed the feedback from Liam. He sure knows what he is talking about. I too, was in a relationship with a man for over 8-9 yrs several yrs ago. After being unhappy and learning from the last relationship (about what I do truly want & need in a good relationship), I am choosing to stay single and stop looking for now. I have also been on couple dating sites. Most of them are all crap-yes, crap! These men say they are looking for a “beautiful, young, thin, blond girl, with all the plusses they need.” When you actually do meet these men, most of them look like losers and act the same way. Not all men do, but most of the men I have met thru dating sites really do. It got to the point where I stopped and took my info,bio, etc. off the dating sites. I am working on what I want & need in life (not a creep to make me unhappy for the rest of my life) but instead a life of self-worth & fulfillment. I am still hoping to find the right man out there for me, over 50+, clean, decent, loving, etc. I do know one thing ladies, until I do meet or find him, I will in NO WAY settle for less. The losers & players can all jump in a lake and (blank) themselves every day!! I want nothing to do with them, I am better off with my girl-friends who accept me for who I am, a gracious, clean, decent, loving lady who is deserving of a wonderful man–Congrats Liam for telling it like it is–problem is that most women dont want to hear the truth–they cant handle the truth–TOO BAD!!

    Reply
  5. Candi

    Why is it that I have had a good marriage to a good man for almost 27 yrs. and all of a sudden he says he might not stay once our 16 yr. old grows up? We have always got along great and still do. But frankly I find it hard to live with him knowing he may not stay.

    Reply
  6. suzie

    I am blown away by your insight and frankness of a simple description of a complex modern phenomena called online dating for seniors. What happens when these men would like companionship and the younger ones they have put all their energies into carry on with more energetic ones and leave them limp, what happens when they want friends again…suz

    Reply
  7. Susan Bee

    OMG!! This article’s explanations were so exacting and on-point. It’s almost like saying, forget about it, men of a particular age won’t ever be honest or, really into women over 40 AT ALL. And yes, modern day dating trends are definitely not meant to enhance our self esteem.

    Reply
  8. Michelle

    Why don’t you allow comments? Don’t you think it’s a bit controlling in a one way conversation with yours as the final say?

    Reply
  9. athena

    Thanks Liam for bringing attention to the characters called unbalanced men. First, I would like to point out to Barbara that a man who has received pure “Shakti” in the form of love and caring from the women in his past will shape up real soon when confronted with a woman who sees herself as GOLD. If a man does not show respect in words and action after you have cared for him DROP HIM. Some men are worth the trouble and others are not. You be the judge of who has potential to show growth and receive your power of love. Remember without the power of love, men are nothing but dust and that really scares them. Go forth on a new adventure with YOUR POWER IN YOUR MIND AND HEART. Let a real man win you and want you in his castle!

    P.S. a castle can be a one bedroom apartment but nicely kept:)

    Reply
  10. Kon

    I dont agree when Liam says that men will not choose to be monogamous unless if they dont have an option. I came out of a stressful marriage and I am free to do whatever. Yet, I havent done anything irresponsble as I believe in love and I want to be monogamous. I want to share everything with just one person as I dont want just superficial fun. although my marriage failed, i still believe in love and rising the the levels where two can make each other happiest, I listen to my intuion and follow my heart. I believe she is out there for me and I will wait for her on my own choice.

    Reply
  11. elian

    On second thought, the evolutionary imperative also directs activity that fosters not only the creation but also the preservation of offspring. If so, it would follow logically that men would be programmed to take good care and cherish and love the mothers of their offspring throughout their lives, even when they become grandmothers. Thus, there should be no natural aversion to older women.

    Reply
  12. Victor A.

    As interesting as Liam’s response was, I wish to disagree with it because he seems to be solving a particular problem with a general solution. Suggest he takes the man or men’s side of Barbara’s story before deciding on her men. Has Liam ever encountered the assertive, been-there nature of 40+ women? How many of these women do not claim being pleasant, laid back, ever-smiling angels, only to turn ever-shopping, restaurant patrons, barking orders as sergeant-majors even at bill-paying men? How true do they live-out the claims on their online profiles? Wish I can continue, but must do some gardening ! Cheers !

    Reply
  13. Maria Arvanitidis

    Hi Liam

    After reading the first paragraph i noticed on thing

    The same thing happens to me with Women.

    The last one hustled me for 3 years

    I really do not think you have to be married by religion or the law

    However be careful that you do not end up in a marriage alone by the justice legal system legal complications.

    I do not know about you however I think that

    Love is really all we want to commit ourselves to not power or control over others and the misuse of authority is what really kills it.

    Reply
  14. Caren

    Barbara,

    Alone is ok. Once we older women master that, we don’t have to put up with the above from anyone. We just walk away, period. I dont do the dating sites anymore, they are incredibly depressing. What I do is go to spiritually oriented gatherings or art openings, the opera, and meet amazing men there.

    Reply
  15. Shaylee Martling

    Oh my goodness!!! It feels like this article was written to me, though I have not had the experience with men much older since I was a teenager, but wow! I can’t believe that there are so many guys out there with this utter lack of consideration for the fact that women are human beings with feelings and whom deserve respect. I am glad that I read this because I recently broke it off with a less than worthy man who made me feel less than worthy. I saw him last night and have been fearing a relapse because of the sweet way he treated me, telling me he had dreamt about me and all this, after he pretty much made it clear that my whole person wasn’t good enough for him, but he was down to have sex. I tried everything with this guy, being patient for months while we got to know each other, always hoping that he would come around and grow to love and respect me, but, no. It seems the more I was willing to do for him, the less he cared about me. I don’t get it, probably because it makes no logical sense, but I do agree that women like me, who attract these same types over and over, need to be careful with ourselves. I, for one, am very sensitive to how others feel , but I have learned that you can’t always rely on your feelings when it comes to men, I think because they don’t acknowledge their feelings as much. Bottom line is, making really good friends first is really the only way to go when you’re like me and you feel like every man who you have a mutual attraction with is some kind of crazy predator. I think also that once we fully believe that we deserve everything from a man, then we will begin to manifest the right man into our lives. Power to ya sister! You are amazing, don’t settle!

    Reply
  16. Debbie

    Us women feel the same way. Do u think we want to date or be in a relationship with these ugly old men? They should look in the mirror they r gross. I’m divorced I have been dating younger gorgeous men but now I’m older and realize I have to also look for a older guy and I hate it cause with older men there is absolutely no attraction.

    Reply
  17. Sandy

    Hi Liam, I so enjoy reading most of your responses, this is the first time I have to admit I’m disappointed. I hope you’re wrong Liam, what you are saying is the majority of men are extremely shallow. I can understand a man desiring someone who is attractive, someone to be proud to be with, someone who is challenging but to want a little girl for what? I’m not saying all younger women are shallow either, I’m saying just to have a twenty-one year old for age alone, what’s that about? I think when a man is attracted to a woman, look out there are no rules on age, beauty, size, hair color, etc. they want what they want it’s the chemistry between them. I’ve been attracted to players and I’ve let them play me, lesson learned move on. I’m older, not a beauty, etc. you’d be surprised I get hit on by younger guys, guys my age and guys a little older. I’m a little uncomfortable dating someone my nieces age but other than that I leave the chemistry in the drivers seat. Sandy

    Reply
  18. Wendy

    Liam………..I disagree with you often, however, you are spot on regarding mature women in this day/age/culture! The incongruity lies in the fact that mature women today, unlike their predecessors, are far more interested in participating in sexual expreiences. Men of this age bracket are without a doubt always looking at the younger women and comparing as well. I think as a generation, the ‘baby boomer men’ disrespect women. My advice to your reader is to look about a decade younger as men in thier forties, seem to appreciate the more mature woman and aslo appreciate her successes and intellect!

    Reply
  19. Judy

    Liam; Thank you so much for these hard to hear but so true words. I find that Barbara’s situation and your observations are a part of a tune I have been hearing for some time. I am a “crone”. I love men and sex. I have been a widow for 6 years now and have been lonely, frustrated and in despair at times. I have come to realize that respect for myself is the foundation upon which I am most likely to build a loving and giving relationship with a man. Our society is so focused on instant gratification and the worship of youth and a very narrow concept of beauty that the road to self-esteem can be a very difficult path to negotiate. But I do think it can be done.

    Reply
  20. Bettie Adessa

    I wonder what your take is on the reverse side of this aspect. Older women dating younger men.
    My experience on this is that younger men behave on a more mature level than their older counterparts. I am talking about an age difference of between 10 and 20 years.

    Reply
  21. elian

    How discouraging! I can’t argue that you are wrong, but everything in me revolts at the idea that men do not evolve beyond the self-serving stage or,so to speak, the evolutionary-impertive stage,

    Reply
  22. patty

    i agree with you.
    i’m in the age group- on date site i meet this man who is much younger. he treats me very well.
    very sexy man virgo- my question is why would a man want a older woman.of course i drive a nice car, money bank, stock, have a very nice house which is paid for. have been seeing him for almost two years and has yet to see my house. the way we get together hes on a job site, which is for 2 years. it’s a 3 hr drive. only stay 3 days. once a month. he works 6 days a week, 12 hrs. so much of the time hes very tired.i go over clean his place, go get groceries.says he loves me.so far i’m pleased but really get tired being alone- just talk on phone. am i just spinning my wheels – live in big city was wanting to meet someone here in city. tell me what you think? thanks

    Reply
  23. Debster

    I spent/wasted 6 years with just such a fellow. Dusting my hands off now and delighted at the next phase of my life. I call it, “Me.” It includes all the things I enjoy. A wise man once told me, “if it isn’t any fun, don’t go.” That’s my new mantra. I’m a 50 year old American woman, living and working in Mexico City. What a hoot. Oh, and I bought a motorcycle. Oh, and it’s Sunday!!!! I’m going to put on my sneakers and jump on that thing. Live, ladies. Don’t be defined, you can write your own rules now. You like Orange? Wear it. You don’t feel comfortable with fake nails anymore? Toss them. If an interesting man wanders into your airspace, spend time with him. If he bores you or disrespects you in any way, toss him. I bought my Mom (she’s in her late 70’s) and I scooters (Vespa-type). We hit the road when I’m home on weekends. Once in a while, we stop at a bar and shoot pool!!! Grab this life, don’t wait for some, “prince charming,” to define it for you. It’s your canvas, paint it however you want.

    Reply
  24. Debster

    I love Liam’s columns. He always tosses a bit of humor, a bunch of good sense, and practical advice into what he writes. Bravo!

    Reply
  25. Rose O.

    Dear Liam, thank you for your article. But, it is not that I don’t
    honor or have respect for myself. Its that you want to fine the
    right person now not when your 90 which is how it feels like. I
    think a woman also needs company just as well as a man does.
    I have been for the past 2yrs off and on, on dating sites only because it is more easy in the confort of your home. I am not one
    who goes to bars etc. Which to me is a waste of time. But, yes
    I have met a couple of men on the sites whom I am still friends
    with we go out to dinner etc. and another who have an arrangement
    with. I know also in my experiences it is about that 20 yr old fantacys that they have and then they get taken for all they got.
    Thank you Liam.

    Reply
  26. Lilly

    I’m so glad Barbara asked that question because I’ve asked myself that same thing a thousand times! Thank you for your very enlightening answer. I finally got an answer that makes sense. I too, have been on dating sites and what men say they want and what the really want and act are two entirely different things. Very disheartening to say the least. Fore warned is fore armed!!

    Reply
  27. Jessica

    Thank you, Liam! This is a great article. I always enjoy reading your take on the reality of the biological influences on men (and women) and what they mean in terms of monogamy. It’s a very uncomfortable outlook initially, but I find that reading your thoughts on it each time you present them, has helped me to grow more and more comfortable.

    I’d rather deal with the truth, even when I think I don’t like it. It seems the only way to get to a place of peace and new adventures!

    Thank you!!!!
    Jessica

    Reply
  28. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hail and Well Met Sir Liam,

    I hope Barbara heeds your advice, because you nailed it right on the head !!!

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  29. George G Johansson

    Greetings every one,
    Barbara’s question is a good one. Males and females are biologically different. This is the law of the nature. Unlike Shakespeare (smile) I think men have two stages in their lifespann, ie childhood and breeding age while women have one more, ie after-breeding age. Men don’t have after-breeding age because shortly after their breeding age finishes they die. This is the only reason why women generally live longer than men.
    As a 62-year-old teacher I notice girls tend to pay more attention to the guys older than them, ie upper grades or out of school. It’s somewhat subconscious for females to do that. Lets face it, a proper family consists of hardworking husband and working or not working taking-care-for-the-kids wife. As Liam rightly put it men look at women mostly as a “picture” not as people so that it must be an age difference between spauses, ie in my opinion ten or more years. And maybe the lawful age should be changes, ie 16 for women and to put back that old law 21 for men to create a difference by law.
    In Barbara’s case it’s difficult to give an advice because I don’t know what her life situation is. Maybe she should pay more attention to her children and grandchildren.
    Wish a perfect day to everybody!!!
    Regards,
    George

    Reply
  30. Arnee

    Wow. How depressing. Perhaps that explains why, even though I am intelligent, well-spoken, well-read, well-traveled, and still very attractive, I have been alone for over ten years. Of course, I honestly haven’t been looking very hard, but I had no idea that at age 57 I am considered to be “an old crone.”

    Reply
  31. Mary Lou

    Very easy to identify with Barbara! I have the same problem. I just ended a relationship with a man who felt that getting sex anywhere was okay, as long as I didn’t find out. I found out, he’s history. I am learning to appreciate myself and spending my extra time doing things I want to do. Things he wouldn’t be interested in. I agree about the dating sites, and after not even getting a date because sex wasn’t the basis of a relationship I dropped it.
    Thanks again for reminding all of us a bit older women (60) of our worth. Fair or not.

    Reply
  32. amy bown

    Re: Ditch the Game Players. Sorry Liam, but can you be more hackneyed, cliched and just plain wrong about men? I’m a 52 year old women. I date online and there are players of ALL ages. In fact, I find men in their 50s LESS inclined to be players. The idea that men won’t choose monogamy unless they have no other option is not only ludicrous, it’s an insult to men. What about all the men who have married, and genuinely want to get married again? I meet far more of those than the player type. As for men dating younger out of some biological imperative to date women of childbearing years—I often date much younger men, and I don’t want them to have my children! It has nothing to do with biology–and everything to do with the fact that younger men take better care of themselves, don’t come with a ton of baggage, and tend to be more fun. Yes it’s true that our culture rewards men who date younger woman (and reviles us women who date younger men—which does not happen in Europe). But how insulting to us older women to say that men are only with us because they can’t snag a hot young babe. I know you think that’s the “hard truth”—but it’s not true at all. I have dated men of all ages, from 28-50. And most of the older guys I’ve dated are not interested in younger women. My last boyfriend was 48 and he wouldn’t date anyone under 45 because he said he has nothing to say to them. A man I’m starting to date now–he’s 50, and it’s the same thing. These guys are out there. And there are many more of them than the player type. Players will prey on women who don’t feel good about themselves. At one time in my life, I was vulnerable and projecting negative energy—and yes, I did attract players. But now that I’m strong and confident, players don’t get very far with me. Advising the writer on how to spot not just the players, but the good guys, would have been far more useful than the “all men are neanderthals ruled by their testicles” stereotype. It’s not only insulting to men, it’s not true.

    Reply
  33. Julie

    Barbara

    It’s not only guys in their 50’s & 60’s, my friends & I are finding this is happening with our age group (30’s & 40’s) as well. Most of us have decided to stay single, we have male friends for companionship if & when we need it, but we are also choosing to have Friends With Benefits for when we want / need the physical side of being with a male. This way it’s just a casual one nite stand where no emotions are involved, just purely physical – males have always used females, this is our way of using them!

    Julie

    Reply
  34. Michelle

    How depressing…as an attractive woman over 40, that was very hard to read. You have just taken away the hope of many middle-aged women that there are any good men left.

    Reply
  35. disappointed too

    Its not just the 50 and 60 yr olds. Its men in their 40’s too. And I’m guessing other age groups too. Men on dating sites in general, Im sure. Im in my 40’s and every man who has contacted me, has been the same as well. Unable to committ and unwilling to just date one woman at a time. Ive tried looking for a man for the past 3 yrs, and Im glad Ive had one disappointment, after another. Because it’s finally taught me to stop banging my head against a wall. Feels good now that Ive stopped!! Ive come to realise Id rather be on my own than put up with the game playing and bullshit of men. Theyre all the same. My arms would grow too tired having to stroke so many egos for so long. I’ll leave that up to their mummies, who ruined them for every woman out there, by raising them to think their shit doesnt stink and they are Gods gift to the world.

    Reply
  36. Michelle

    Liam,
    What an awesome answer! That is so true! I have been divorced for 5 years and had a FWB w a guy for a couple of years and just told him to get lost. I know that I’m better than him and I refuse to not be treated w respect anymore. Until I feel that I can be with a guy that is on the same wavelength with me, I would RATHER BE ALONE. I am 46 years old and I can choose to make myself happy or be miserable and SAY I’m with someone that isn’t really making me happy. It is my choice and the goods news is I can be alone. I’m not afraid to be alone (there are a lot of people that cannot be alone or feel that they NEED to be with someone – why? So many people don’t even know what they themselves like yet they continue to TRY to make someone else happy when they themselves are unhappy. That is so wrong on so many levels) it doesn’t make me lonely. The person who wrote you the letter: Learn to like yourself. Don’t be afraid to do your own thing. The guy you are with sounds like a jerk – why would you want to be with a jerk?

    Reply
  37. Adrianne

    Thankyou psychic Liam for your `ditch-the-game-players`article. I appreciate your honesty about the male attitude to older women and your very wise words of wisdom `consider dating them only after they have proven to be both respectful and worthy.`You are like a bright shining light in a valley of shadows`. I am currently experiencing the cruel disrespect of a younger man however, I will soon inherit a small fortune and will sincerely consider your words of wisdom when I take my leap for freedom and also know how to handle any rogue sharks who will also be awaiting my changing circumstances. Kind regards,
    Adrianne Danen

    Reply
  38. Jessica

    What about the older men that are with someone younger and still can’t seem to stop being a player?

    Reply
  39. Lisa E

    Very well said, Liam! You are wise beyond your years and have the insight of an old soul.
    Your advice to Barbara was excellent.

    It is very true that most of the older men on the dating sites are more interested in playing the field than finding the right woman for a long-term relationship, even though they may claim otherwise in their profile. I’m in my early 50’s and although sometimes I wish for someone special to share my life with, I’ve grown quite content with my independent, quiet lifestyle. I’ve learned more about myself over the past 4 years while not in a relationship than I learned in 30 years of being with someone. For once in my life I’m learning to love myself for who I am. It’s easier to gain a clear perspective when you aren’t so busy catering to the needs of others and seeking approval that you lose sight of who you are.

    I’ve set my standards extremely high and I don’t expect to meet anyone who will measure up to them in this lifetime but I’m okay with that! I’d rather not be in relationship at all, than end up in a bad relationship because I “settled” for less than what I want. Been there… done that… never again.

    Reply
  40. Marc from the UK

    I read with great interest this article, I have huge respect for the Author, however I thought it was a bit general about us men! I can relate to alot of men behaving like this BUT… We are not all like this!!! Is Liam? … I don’t think so either. I am in my late forties, single and looking but enjoying the freedom. I’m happy with an older or equal lady, I value intelligence, integrity, faithfulness and someone who looks after themselves over a bimbo or younger And less mature or experienced in life’s tapestry any day . However the article was correct in many ways but not always !

    Reply
  41. mary

    I have to say Liam makes very few accurate points about men , in general, regardless of age. In his brief synopsis, age has absolutely nothing to do with his observations, as I see this behavior in men of all ages. But, how completely cocky of Liam to tell women that we are in any way inferior to any man of any age. Hello?? I am 46 years young and I can tell you I have 24-26 year old young men hit on me constantly. It has to do with how well you keep yourselves up fellow girlfriends! don’t listen to this drivel! He knows very little about the power of a real woman!!!We can and will have anything we absolutely want whenever we want. He is not empowering to women, just the oppposite!!!The attitude we put off whilst out and about, as in we can’t appear needy but appear as if we absolutely do not need a man, drives men to you and also drives them insane! Go for it girlfriends!!By the way, I have found that being 40 plus gives us an edge over younger women , with men of any age. Don’t listen to this man with zero experience with women…ahem. Listen to a full blooded American woman who has ‘been there.. done that” I would love a response from Liam, by the way, bring it on baybee!! I dare you!!

    Reply
  42. Liz

    I totally agree after ten years on the dating scene and now 65. I have had the same experiences with men. I also belong to a social group of mature people and can identify men in the group who are as described by Barbara and Liam.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *