Your Secret Regrets

We all have them – regrets so deeply ingrained that we think about them all the time, things we’ve done or words we’ve said that we wish we could change. If only we could turn back time and choose a different path, we think, how things would be different now… but would they? Everyone knows you can’t change the past, but none of us know (no matter what we tell ourselves) if a do-over would really make a difference. So how are we supposed to deal with regrets, especially the life-changing variety?

Acceptance

It’s easy to be hard… on yourself, that is. When we’ve done something wrong, whether it was inadvertent or purposeful, cruel or simply not right for us, most of us experience some kind of remorse. The degree of remorse varies based on the severity of the misstep, sure, but the general feelings remain the same: anger (at ourselves), reflection, frustration. Perhaps the worst part of it all is knowing we can’t take our words or actions back and being forced to deal with the consequences.

The catch is that regrets are one of the few things we’re all guaranteed to have on our journey. Part of life’s progression includes making mistakes. How else would we learn from them? The first step in getting over your deepest and darkest regrets is to accept that while you may have been able to avoid them, you didn’t… and though you may have some making up (and turning inward) to do, you’re not alone. You’re only human. Remaining paralyzed by guilt will not undo what’s been said or done, it’ll only drive you crazy.

Apologies

While apologizing for your actions can’t undo them, attempting amends is a good step toward forgiving yourself – even if it gets you nowhere. Apologizing can be particularly tricky if what you regret isn’t “doing something bad” but rather making a bad decision – say, marrying someone you didn’t love, or getting a degree you didn’t want to pursue. That said, one decision does not have to ruin a lifetime – and it shouldn’t. By staying quiet you not only continue to wreak havoc with your own well-being, you mess with the lives of others. Changing course is (almost) always possible.

So say you’re sorry – even if the person you’re apologizing to is yourself, or if you have to have the conversation with the universe as opposed to the person in question. Put your amends into the ether, and with them, release the guilt you’ve been harboring around your regret. Guilt isn’t exactly useless, since it does enable us to sense when we’ve done something that’s out of alignment. Unless it motivates us to make amends and move on however, it’s not very useful, either.

Afterthoughts

Yours is the only happiness over which you have any control. And though it’s often hardest to recognize your own well-being as a matter of consequence, it’s the only consequence that counts when it comes to laying the groundwork for a happier, healthier future. While it’s true that (shy of death) your quiet regrets may be the most difficult to face and rectify, it’s vital to your personal growth and well-being that you do your best to express yourself, let go and move on. Continuing to foster the negative emotions surrounding what went wrong and what could’ve been keeps you from living in what currently is, and that’s where you create what will be… So ask yourself, do you want to manifest a future of fearlessness, or create a “fate” that you fear?

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4 thoughts on “Your Secret Regrets

  1. Pingback: Red Responds: Left Penniless and Unforgiving | California Psychics Blog

  2. Angela L. Walls

    Your article really hit home with me, i’ve been trying to live with all my past mistakes for years. By dwelling on all my regrets i’ve just been adding fuel to them unfortunately. Thank-you for your powerful words, they have helped me immensley.

    Reply
  3. Jacqueline

    Hello Stephanie,
    Great words to wrap ones-self around, I love what you said about feeling guilt, too often we let this emotion control such a large aspect of our life, the more we dwell with-in it, the more power we feed it, you hit it right on the head, once sorry is said let, it go, move on, the fact that it was sincerely addressed and the proper amense was taken, you are done, it no longer needs to have any power over you, learn from the experience and enjoy what the future holds.

    Blessings and Big Hugs!
    Jacqueline x9472

    Reply
  4. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi,
    I really liked this article…….and especially the part about afterthoughts…….this incarnation, or life, is short…..better to make the most of it by being present in the moment.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply

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