The One Who Got Away

Many of us have had them. Relationships that seemed so right … only to go disastrously wrong, leaving us heartbroken and suffering for months, years, decades even! What’s it about these pairings that makes them so tough to relinquish? That leaves our minds spinning what we could have done differently while pining for what could’ve – no (we tell ourselves), should’ve – been? It may be karma — after all, there’s no doubt people experience cosmic connections. However, no matter what particular tie is binding you to the one who got away, make no mistake: it can be cut. And believe it or not, the power is all in your hands… or more specifically, in your head.

Reality vs. fantasy
There’s a very strong possibility you’ve stopped seeing your old partner realistically and turned them into the very definition of perfection. In pouring over all the things that made your ex so right for you, you’ve replaced the real, flesh and blood person with whom you were involved with a fantasy of your own creation. While some people experience time healing their wounds, those of us who are stuck on someone from another time (or life) tend to see the past (and the person) through rose-colored glasses. The person you’re “remembering” actually says a lot more about what you want than it does about who they really were. Separate truth from fiction so that you can begin to see…

Love’s lessons
Sure, you and your ex were in love. But clearly (see above), your pairing wasn’t as perfect as you’re envisioning it, otherwise you wouldn’t be here, looking back and wishing things had wound up differently. Some loves come into our lives not to last forever, but rather, to teach us lessons. Try to see the lesson(s) in your old relationship (the real one, not the one you’ve imagined since you split). Then, take this as your signal to learn them – otherwise, the universe will continue to present you with the same opportunities, over and over again… until you do!

Practice makes perfect
Once you’ve separated fact from fiction and found the lessons in your relationship, it’s time to put all your hard work (and tears) to use. Remove any and all symbols of your ex or that time from your home. You may even want to have a ceremonial burning (or flushing!), just to draw the line for yourself. And most importantly, don’t reach out to your ex – or reciprocate when they reach out to you. You can’t cut the chord when it’s still dangling. You’ve got to pull it taut and make a leap (or in this case, slice) of faith. You – and your future, real and present partner – will thank yourself later!

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