Do You Have the Strength to Be Your Authentic Self?

Be Your Authentic Self

What’s Keeping You From Being Your Authentic Self?

On one hand, the idea of being your authentic self appears straightforward. Yet on the other hand, it can be far more complicated and multilayered than what you would expect. It is a challenge to be oneself when who we are goes against the expectations of our families, culture, education system, media and a whole host of other variables that work to define us as something other than ourselves. We are also constantly bombarded with images that try to convince us that we are meant to look a certain way. Being your authentic self is a difficult task.

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Autonomy and Our Basic Needs

Another challenge to being your authentic self is that your basic need for autonomy does not always align with your other basic needs: love, security, connection and belonging. Fr0m an early age, we have been taught to adapt, adjust, and hide what we feel rather than express our feelings—all in order to ensure that we get our needs met.

Adaptation in Childhood

As children, if we felt our parents withdraw their affection and attention in response to feelings we expressed, we  immediately denied that emotion and instead adapted to what we think was required. If our peer group at school mocked some kind of quirky behavior we had, we shut that down in order to feel part of the group.

The Power of Adaptation

A very obvious example of the power of adaptation is someone concealing their sexual orientation. For many, being gay may go against their family’s expectations, their religious affiliations and some conservative values. Before “coming out,” they are in constant denial or suppression of who they are, because they think “I am not free to me. Being me comes at an emotional cost that feels far greater than the benefit of being true to myself.”

Recognizing the Inauthentic

So in order to be our authentic selves, we have to be able to recognize when we are being inauthentic. To do this takes great courage and self-awareness. We have to look at ourselves openly and honestly, and we have to do it while refraining from self-judgement and blame. It’s no easy task! Many people don’t get here until the pain of not being themselves becomes unbearable. In the meantime, they are able to invest in a life, relationships and a whole way of being that is in service to something/someone other than who they really are or what they really want. But when we become what we think the world really wants us to become, and we realize that we are not happy and are feeling hollow and empty, this can be the impetus we need to begin to discover our authentic self.

 Grant Yourself the Permission

You don’t need permission from the outside world to be yourself. Stop filtering yourself and allow what is within to come forward. This means that you have to learn to love and accept who you are—not just the parts of you others want. Your insecurity, pain and anxiety comes from burying who you are deep down inside. All of who you are is worthy of love. If you nurture a more compassionate and kind relationship with yourself, you’ll discover how much easier it becomes to be who you are. Just allow yourself to be your authentic self. From there, your destiny, relationships and life path will be charged with a greater sense of authenticity and integrity.

Grant yourself this gift today!

Psychic Archer ext. 6512

4 thoughts on “Do You Have the Strength to Be Your Authentic Self?

  1. Archer 6512

    I think you make some really good points Borislava. Its a really good question you pose, is there anything such an absolute true self? Honestly couldn’t give a definitive answer, as it’s such a complicated question. In my understanding at least, our true self is unfolding, an organic process rather than fix identity set in time and stone. The question of where does self begin and other end? In of itself, is mind boggling, as we made of the same atoms that where born in stars millions of years ago and our physical nature is infinite exchange rather than is solid phenomena. Like Alan Watts said, we should say I am am-ing, rather than I am. I am human-ing rather than human. We are more verbs than nouns. Yet I think the best compass pointing to our “true-self” is that part of us that has the least fear and the most love. The more we gravity toward that, the closer we get to what this crazy entity is we call the self 🙂

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  2. Borislava Stamenic

    Yes that is so true at what price. If you do not do what your family expect you to do there is price and punishment for that. They do not talk to you. Etc…yes you be who you are or who you think you are but you will have to start all over its it s like new life. And than you create your new true self that will want to come out and new soroundings will have problem with that. And than again new life. There is not absolute true self….or is there

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  3. Logan Ext 5089

    We stated Archer! It is about recognizing the duality within our selves that makes us whole. Yes, give your self permission!

    Reply

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