Speak Up! He’s Not Listening

Reconnect With Your Partner

Active listening is an important factor in any relationship, and if it is not present, numerous problems may arise. Do you constantly wonder why he’s not listening to you? Do you feel as though you are talking to a brick wall? Does he constantly get distracted when you try to talk about something that is important to you? Truth be told, this happens in many relationships, and there are ways you can get through this and build a stronger bond between you both. Here is how you can achieve active listening within your relationship and speak to your man.

Stop What You Are Doing

Distraction can be the root of all evil where active listening is concerned. Make sure you stop everything you are doing when you want to talk. Turn off the television, escape from the kids for awhile and put away your much-adored favorite book. You both need to put time aside to focus and concentrate on each other. Ask your man for time, and ask him to stop what he is doing. This should get his main focus on you and will help him to listen more actively.

Be Active Together

Even though distraction can be a problem, activity may just be the solution you are seeking. Distracting TV’s, video games and MP3 players are a no no. But by spending active time together like a long walk or hike through the woods can be refreshing. Even sitting and playing a game of chess or a light game of cards can do wonders, and your man may actually be able to hear what you are trying to express to him.

“Listen for your answer. You may hear that little voice inside of you instructing you on how to achieve. ” Psychic Mimi ext. 5522

Ask for Time

The only way your man will become more of an active listener and focus on your conversation is if you ask him directly for his time. Even if you have to set a time in the day, a lunch break from work or a coffee meet-up after work, you can make it happen. Just ask! Your man might shock you with how he will automatically turn his interest to you if you are straight out honest.

Plan Ahead

If you lead busy lives and work takes up most of your time, use an agenda between the both of you to book alone time. Place importance on your private time, and make sure you both commit to it. No excuses. Communication is the number one reason why relationships succeed or fail.

“In order for a marriage to last, it had better consist of two very secure people.” Psychic Jesse ext. 9027  

Feedback

Even though your man is looking you in the eye and nodding his head, he still may be thinking about what is for dinner, when the game is on or what he must finish at work tomorrow. Active listening requires full 100% focus. Ask him to repeat what you just said, and constantly throw in questions like, “What do you think?” Or, “What would you do in my situation?” Feedback can be a fabulous tool, when it comes to keeping your man on track in the conversation.

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5 thoughts on “Speak Up! He’s Not Listening

  1. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    I have to agree with Reed on this one…….

    …if somebody asked me to repeat back to them what they said, I would be insulted and ultimately find that extremely annoying……
    …and if they kept it up long enough, I’d probably tell them to hit the road and go find somebody else to annoy and badger .

    Reply
  2. Reed x 5105Reed x 5105

    Women tend to view communication as a way to nurture relationships and connections.
    Men tend to view communication as a means of exchanging information.
    If a conversation consists of information that a man doesn’t need, he may tune it out if it goes on too long.

    If a woman talks nonstop for 10 minutes about her nail polish, a man is highly likely to tune out. Why should he need to know what brand resists chipping the longest? Knowing that sort of thing could get his man card permanently revoked.
    If she then switches gears and talks about a serious issue, the tuned out man won’t hear it. Asking him to then repeat back what you just said is going to be highly insulting. I think this technique should only be used on children, and then only sparingly. If you use it on him, he’s going to be thinking that you require him to listen to nail polish lectures and in time he may avoid you in order to avoid such conversations and to avoid being treated like a child.

    Likewise, don’t ask, “What do you think?” unless you really are going to listen to what he thinks. The same with, “What would you do in my situation?” because men are likely to give advice and consider that to be the end of the conversation. Using these types of questions isn’t honest or mature conversation if you are using them just to make sure he is still listening.

    If you have something serious to talk to your man about, do it. I agree that asking him to put aside time and putting away distractions is great. Address serious issues first while you have his full attention.

    Above all, remember that a man’s communication needs are different than a woman’s. He doesn’t need to talk for hours every day in order to be in love with you.

    Reed x5105

    Reply

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