6 Tips for Anger Management

We’ve all had those moments. Something someone said or did that set us off, triggering an outburst that we wished we could have taken back after we’ve cooled off. Anger is such a negative and potentially harmful emotion that our failure to manage it can result in an inability to enjoy all those little delights in life because we are so focused on the faults of others. Consider these simple solutions for transforming our lives from rageful red to a silver serenity.

1. Know Your Triggers

Being aware of anger buttons allows you to prepare yourself when you see an infuriating situation unfolding, and do something constructive about it before you are too angry to control yourself. Removing yourself from the immediate environment, changing the subject, or counting to 100 are only beneficial suggestions if you employ them before you are in a rage.

One of the most common anger triggers involves poor time management. When you are in a rush, it is easy to become impatient while driving, waiting in lines, etc., creating a perfect scenario for an anger blowout. Just a small change, like managing your time more wisely, will decrease your frustration, keeping it from developing into anger.

2. Tune In To Yourself

Figure out what tell tale signs your body gives before you go off the deep end. How does your body react as your anger increases? Things like shortness of breath, rising body temperature, clenching your fists, etc. can signal the onset of an anger blowout. Also, be aware of your self-talk during these critical moments. Are you cursing and threatening the person in your head, egging yourself on? If you are alert to these signs, you can head off that adrenaline rush and neutralize a potentially volatile situation.

3. Knowing Your Release Valves

Arm yourself with mellowing techniques that you know work for you. Find out what calms you down when you are upset. These can be anything from controlled breathing exercises to picturing a peaceful image in your mind, from chanting a soothing phrase in your mind to simply walking away from a situation before you erupt. Just doing something physical – like going for a walk, going to the gym, even cleaning up your room – allows you to release the steam before it detonates.

As a general rule, surround yourself with people you find relaxing, and who allow you to safely vent your daily frustrations. Certain activities such as listening to peaceful music, practicing yoga and meditation, even doing something creative such as drawing or painting, allows you to release pent up emotions you are holding unaware.

4. Don’t Bottle it Up

Living your life openly and honestly allows you to experience things fully without taking emotional baggage with you. When you don’t stick up for yourself, don’t behave truthfully with others (such as in workplaces with co-workers and bosses, or with family members), resentment builds. These negative feelings don’t go away – they fester and build inside of you, until that one day you erupt in anger. Far better to deal with these emotions when they are more easily controlled than to wait until you are so angry that you say or do something that is unforgivable.

5. Take Responsibility

Owning up to any of your behaviors and choices that may have led to your current combustive state is a sure-fire way to keep everything in perspective and to calm yourself down. In blaming others for the way that you feel, accusing them with such phrases as “you made me upset,” you take all the power away from yourself. Only you can allow others to affect you; whether or not you realize it, you choose to be angry, so choose to let it roll off you instead.

6. Keep Yourself in Check

Keeping things in perspective is extremely important in anger management. Taking a step back from a situation, and deciding that it’s not worth getting so upset over, is an easy and practical method for avoiding angry outbursts. It’s important to stand up for yourself if anyone has genuinely wronged you, but the everyday annoyances such as someone cutting you off on the road or cutting in line at the store aren’t worth all that negative energy. It is much better to shake it off and enjoy the rest of your day than to give in to these petty fleeting annoyances.

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8 thoughts on “6 Tips for Anger Management

  1. Paul Koppel

    Great post. It is really good to read this article. Its really useful if you observe yourself when you are in anger. When anger tuned into rage, you may fire others with abusive words or you may hit them or else you may threw things in your hand. When anger turned in to rage you may lost your control on your brain. So make sure that when you find your self getting anger, walk away from that place or go to your room and listen some soothing music

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  4. psychicreedx5105

    Managing anger takes practice, but it is vitally important. This article has some really good tips.
    As for the question that fiereflye asked:
    Here are my 2 cents – If it were me, I would start by asking myself if I am only yelling at this driver because I feel that a coworker is taking advantage of me. If you are yelling at another driver instead of addressing the coworker, you might want to reconsider your actions.

    Second, I would pay close attention to my body. Before I yell at another driver, how do I feel? While I yell, do I notice a change? After yelling, how do I feel? Where in my body do I feel the action? Is there muscle tension? A knot in my stomach? Tingling in my back? I would carefully note each feeling and the time it occurred.

    I know from personal experience that yelling at someone (even traffic, when they can’t hear me) leaves me with a little knot in my stomach and so I avoid it. Someone else might notice the opposite is true for them and so they might not want to avoid it.
    The change in my body is actually pretty subtle, so it took some time for me to notice it. You might listen to your body very carefully and be able to tell if this is a healthy or unhealthy thing for you to do.

    Best wishes and drive carefully!
    Reed
    x5105

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  6. fiereflye

    This is a good article with excellent suggestions if one has not already learned the basics, which I feel most of us already have. But of course I may very well be wrong about that. At times I expect that other people have learned as much as I have.

    I’m very good at managing my anger in front of other people. I’ve learned that being outright angry with someone only shows that they have essentially “won.” To me, “winning” an argument is a petty view. Professional ethics and personal integrity should always rule, particularly in a work of setting. In a personal setting, those same things and common sense should dictate how we treat people that we love as friends and family. I find that there’s a very fine line between being honest and being rude. There are a number of people who do not understand that line and are continually crossing it. Being honest about your feelings is not always the right thing to do if you can’t avoid doing it in a hurtful manner.

    However, I do have a question or at least a request for comments. I practice a great deal of stress management, mostly by working out at a high intensity level every day before work and on the weekends also to a good degree. I also relax and do enjoyable things as much as possible.

    So here’s my question. Even with all the stress and anger management that I do, I do have one outlet that I really don’t try to control because it doesn’t seem to hurt anyone (except for possibly myself.) When I drive, I let it all out by things I say when other drivers’ actions irritate me. I don’t drive with road rage at all, but I’m constantly yelling at other drivers. They don’t even know I’m doing it since I’m not doing things like pulling up beside them and pointing at them and yelling. It’s just me and only me that knows I’m doing this.

    So tell me, are my actions anything more than a release valve that hurts no one? Or am I drawing negativity by doing this? Is this a harmful relief valve?

    Reply
  7. misskrystalmisskrystal

    wonderful article, thank you. Making decisions out of anger is a terrible thing…I agree with you, Gina Rose. WE pay later for sure. However, if we get fumed, and the words just can’t come out nicely, just walk away, and then wait to cool down…Explain and apologize, later, that you needed to “cool off” and were a loss for words. It’s better to get out of there, in silence, vs. saying things that you will regret later…
    .Blessings, miss krystal

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  8. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Excellent article !!!!!!!

    Especially for this holiday season…….and might I add, it helps if you don’t place yourself in a situation where you know there might be stress.
    For example, my Mother loves to try to push my buttons…..so I simply limit my time around her to a severe minimum …….if I keep my distance, than I’m not making myself a target for her amusement to begin with.

    All of these are great tips.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    To lose ones’ temper is to give your power away to others….. ( I learned that managing a company many years ago )….. and never to make a decision in anger.

    Reply

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