Red Responds: The Law of Allowing

Shirle from Wilmington asks:

Can you speak to us on accepting and the Law of Allowing? I’m having internal discomfort in accepting and receiving gifts and good deeds from others – even from family members. While I smile and say “Thank you,” inside I feel poor. I feel like they’re looking down at me, because I’ve always been a responsible person. Funds are low right now. I’ve always been a giver from the heart without expecting anything in return. Giving always brought much joy to me and others. This past holiday season I needed two new tires. I could afford only one. A local merchant gave me one of the tires and charged no labor. A church gave me a complete Thanksgiving dinner for four. I cooked and shared it with two young men who would otherwise have none. That gave joy to all of us. I was stunned when the young guys insisted on giving me gifts. I allowed and accepted, because I realized they needed to do that. While they were very happy to do so, I knew it had cost them as well. I just felt bad as my intent was only to share, and not to receive in this way. I know many of us have problems accepting, and mine is causing great me emotional pain. My daughter just sent me round-trip fare to visit her and my grandkids. I’m feeling bad rather than joy.

Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:

Dear Shirle,

Thank you so very much for sharing such an unselfish question! I’m hoping that my response will help you, as well as others who have similar (or opposite…) struggles.

It can be very challenging to learn how to receive, especially for someone like you – who is, by nature, just a warm and giving person. However, it is your turn to receive. As all things in nature are connected and balanced, try to appreciate that you’re simply experiencing a different position in the cycle. Even though your circumstances and finances have changed, you’re still that warm and generous person. While you may be focusing on the fact you’re receiving kindness and gifts: Don’t forget to acknowledge that you’re still giving – of yourself, your time, your energy and your wisdom. You’re also giving others the opportunity to extend themselves – not because most people are interested in balance, but because you inspire others to step a bit outside of themselves, and experience things differently. Some random acts of kindness aren’t essentially random, but are actually life-lessons. Good ones, too, that positively impact all involved.

I’m glad that you noted that you’re deserving of receiving, because you are. Even though being on the receiving end may make you feel awkward, and will probably continue to do so, please understand that you’re being treasured – not pitied. What goes around comes around, we just don’t always know, appreciate or fully understand the how’s and when’s.

Also, take into account what you do with what you receive. The merchant suffered no loss by helping you with the tires, but gained joy from being able to help you, because he saw you as deserving. Those tires have helped you to help others. The guys at the store will never forget that dinner – it was a moment that has helped to change them and shape them for the better. Your daughter is thrilled that she can bring you to her. Her life is patterned by your gifts, love and guidance. She and her family want you around – no matter how it is that you got there; and it is very rare that she can do something that she deems as a meaningful gift to you.

Even though you’re on the receiving end of things, you’re so conscious of it, that you’re still giving. You have just been finding different ways to give and to share. Continue to do what you can to accept things graciously, even though it doesn’t look like you’ll ever be entirely comfortable on the receiving end. Just know that when you’re accepting, you’re also allowing someone else to experience the joy of giving, and because you are you – you still find ways of balancing or surpassing the generosity of others in the end.

Bright Blessings,


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