Ego Shopping

We all have our own definitions of what the ‘ego is. In a general sense, the ego is the part of us that individualizes us from the next person. You can view it kind of like a crying baby … the more it cries, the more you want to feed it, the more you feed it, the more food it will demand. We are all born with an ego, however every ego cries in a different way. If our goal is to reach a higher level of consciousness, a more God-like quality … enlightenment if you will … then we need to tame the ego until it rarely plays a part in our lives.

The BIG Ego

One of the most common reasons an individual may have a large ego is their lack of self-identity (or self-esteem). They need YOU to tell them who they are. This entails lots of attention seeking, compliment fishing and bragging about accomplishments. They will constantly try to impress, are usually big spenders, talk the talk and sometimes even walk the walk to ensure they are who they think they are. The way they are viewed in society is top priority and unfortunately they often let their ego blind their actions. Unless this person comes to a realization on their own empty … this ego will continue to grow bigger and bigger until one day, someone pops it. Popping someone’s ego is never fun or easy, but tough love can go a long way.

The Mid-Size Ego

The average ego is a mix between the big ego and the tiny ego – surprised? This ego will have its moments of wanting to be the center of attention but is able to bring itself back to reality and genuinely care about the well-being of others. This may sound like a happy balance but could turn into the battle of the egos at any moment. Mid-Size egos may find it hard not to be tempted to fall flat into the BIG ego so they are constantly keeping eye on how much flattery they accept, how often they think selfish thoughts, their concern with their appearance and how to subtly let their accomplishments slip out. Making an impression is still important yet doesn’t call for elaborate details or not following through on supposed “big” plans.

The Tiny Ego

This is the type of ego we should all strive for. It’s the ego that Jesus and the Buddha inhibited and truly symbolizes the essence of humanity. The person with a tiny ego puts others before themselves. They are genuinely concerned for the well-being of all humanity and without thinking about ‘what’s in it for me,’ they lend a hand to help anyone. They have a deep sense of compassion yet feel lighter all around. This ego can be attained through practice (such as meditation, self-reflection or simply be conscious of it) or if a person is lucky, they could be born with it. People born with low egos could very well be nearing the end of their journey towards enlightenment (after many, many lifetimes). The tiny ego may be small but its effects are enormous.

6 thoughts on “Ego Shopping

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  3. Carmen

    This part made me cringe immediately “One of the most common reasons an individual may have a large ego is their lack of self-identity (or self-esteem). They need YOU to tell them who they are. This entails lots of attention seeking, compliment fishing and bragging about accomplishments. They will constantly try to impress, are usually big spenders…” You can always recognize them easily on FB! Just look at the ones who constantly post status updates!

    My ex fits this description to the t, so do a few friends I had to break up with. The constant whining about how bad they have/had it, going on about how they are too fat, too unattractive, while their “friends” would feed the beast, responding with “Oh no! You are so pretty,” etc. made me want to puke. Watching how they would spend tons of money on things that made them look good, while refusing to spend it on things that would actually have served them, also disgusted me. People like this drain me, and I never understood why others wouldn’t see through their facade with the same ease I did.

    I do work hard on being and remaining the small ego. There are times when I fail miserably and end up in the big ego. However, being self-aware keeps me in check. Studying specific paths that focus on actually slaying one’s ego, has also helped me to “keep it real.” I do hope that, with commitment and hard work, I can end up in that place one day, the place that consists entirely of the small ego 🙂

  4. Sirideain

    Great article!! I fall into the “tiny” ego category and it often comes back to bite me, lol. Nonetheless, I am constantly challenged by encounters with “big” ego’s–which, to be totally honest–trips me up each and every time.

    I would love to see more from you on this subject =)

  5. k

    I seem to have had 2 relationships with men that had similar ego’s.
    Is this something I brought out in these men or was it already there.
    I am somewhat disillusioned now since my 2 long term relationships seem to have been filled with dishonesty.
    Both men ‘bragged’ when out in public with other people as if they had to prove themselves to them.
    I dont know.
    Was this something I attract?
    I hope I am wiser because of this and I will not pursue a man that has an large ego that needs to be stroked. My last relationship ended because of the many women he constantly seeked out while we were seeing each other. I thought he would have had enough of the womanizing but it never ended. I had to finally call it quits after 12 years of abuse. I loved him even though he was so deceiving. I knew he had a problem but I thought I could ‘cure’ him with love and attention. Didnt work and seemed to make him worse as time went on.
    I hope to find someone I truly like next time around and if I see a bad behavior I do not ignore it.
    Better luck next time for me. lol

  6. misskrystalmisskrystal

    I really liked this article. I think with enough human understanding, and confidence, willing to take constructive advise (of course to improve), we all have the ability to grow stronger here, building a better image on the inside and outside.
    Miss Krystal


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