Emotional Bank Accounts and How to Balance Them

How to Attain Peak Emotional Health!

Even the most resilient and optimistic of us wake up some mornings and feel like all the life has been sucked from our hearts. Most often, this happens when we are dealing with a long term stressful situation like issues around finances or difficulties in a relationship. It can also happen to us when we are offering serious emotional support to friends or relatives. Suddenly we find we are the ones feeling lost and down and we don’t know why.

Here’s the thing; We all of us have emotional bank accounts. The love we receive from others, the laughter shared with friends, the time we get to spend on hobbies we love and even the care we give ourselves pay in to that bank account.

Most of us dip in to that account on a daily basis, its the place we go to when we need to find a smile for a difficult customer, or when we realise that deadline is looming and that dinner reservation you had so been looking forward to will have to be cancelled or someone we care about needs a shoulder to cry on. For the most part, we don’t even recognise when we are doing it and this is partly because those small incidents in life pass and what you took out of the account quite quickly gets replaced by the hug of someone we love, or being indulgent and having that extra long bubble bath or spending time with a friend who we can completely relax with. We dip into that emotional bank account and find the strength we need to keep going and then most times the difficulties pass and we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward.

However sometimes we hit difficulties that are not over in a matter of days. Sometimes relationships start to crumble or the relationship becomes unhealthy. A job is lost and finances start to spiral, or someone we love becomes ill needing our care. At times like these, we dig in a little further to our emotional “savings” to get us through. It is a times like these we need to be most acutely aware that we find a way to keep paying in. No matter how difficult the situation, we have to find time to step back from it and take a breath, we have to take the time to not just deal with the crisis but *live* because frankly, if you don’t what are you getting through the crises for? If your entire life becomes the problem, and you let friends and the things you love fall to the wayside and you don’t give yourself some TLC then one morning you will wake up, you will be in the red emotionally and all those things you loved and loved you will have been consumed in an emotional black hole and you are left feeling, exhausted, empty and tired.

The best way to ensure this doesn’t happen to you is to tell someone as soon as a crisis raises it’s head. Share your worries and your fears. Allow others to help keep your emotional account topped up and dip into their savings to help you through and whatever you do, don’t give up on the little things you love. Still find time to read, or watch your favorite show, or have that glass of wine at the end of the day. Try, even though it is hard to remember that you are struggling through something not with something and you struggle through to reach something better at the other side, don’t loose sight of that. And if you see someone in crisis, don’t let them go into the red pay something into them, pay it forward in the most useful way possible to another human being.

3 thoughts on “Emotional Bank Accounts and How to Balance Them

  1. Aisha x5865

    Great article Toby! This is something very important for all of us to remember. I often use that same analogy in my own life as well as when guiding others. It is important for all of us to refuel, rejuvenate and replenish. I cannot help anyone if I am depleted. The more we store up that vitality through whatever works for us individually, the more we can assist and help others without feeling drained or even becoming resentful. Thanks so much for this article! Peace and many Blessings!

  2. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Great advice for those struggling to get thru difficult situations !!!!

    Nicely done, Toby !!!!


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