Bad Relationships Help You Survive

It seems counter-intuitive, but attaining a sense of security in your relationship could deter you from having good survival instincts. “Secure people have disadvantages,” says experimental psychologist Tsachi Ein-Dor in a study published in the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science.

In relationships, people react one of two ways – securely or insecurely. If you have a secure attachment style, it means that you have a stable perspective on individualism and view the world as a safe place. Though this sounds like an appealing state of mind, it can effect your sense of urgency in dangerous situations. “Attachment behavior is a survival adaptation,” said Ein-Dor. “Because infants can’t survive on their own, they have to attach themselves to their parents. If an infant cries and is soothed by its parent, it learns that it can trust other people for love and support.”

On the contrary, if you experience anxiety and cling to your partner, or prefer to solve problems on your own rather than working as a team, this illustrates an insecure attachment style. Being insecure in your relationship doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a “bad” relationship, it’s just not what people truly strive for.

Research may prove that insecure people react quicker to danger (and perceived danger) – which increases their chances of survival. On the flip side, not having a sense of security can leave you depleted, fragile and weak if your current relationship ends. Even the relationship is healthy and stable, a rude awakening may be in store for you if you secretly think “I wouldn’t be able to go on if I ever lost this person.”

What do you think – does being dependent on relationships make us weak?

http://www.livescience.com/culture/insecure-relationships-good-100515.html

24 thoughts on “Bad Relationships Help You Survive

  1. grissella

    I met my boyfriend jason at a party and it was love from the star we never had sex but he move away i live in winston salem nc he live in va 4 hrs away he ask me will i move in with him and i said yes he ask me too married him and i said yes i have 2 kids is not his but he love them like they are his

    Reply
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  3. Ruth Barnett

    great article yes you live and learn and yes it does hurt but if you continue to go with it knowing what your boundarys are then its kind of your fault.Was in a relationship where drugs and alcohol where involved and things didnt change continued to use then it was my fault for not walking away.

    Reply
  4. jaydbest

    nice gina rose love it I had to take care of my self and grown A bit I guest feel better whit my self .but life always bring you moment to deal with ready or not for it.I which I had meet my ex a few month later a better we will been Mary by now .thank so much, love the learning path of life from every one.

    Reply
  5. Manda

    My comment is that I agree, in my relationship Im the insecure one and I do notice it takes its toll. You have to overcome your insecurities, its in a way hard for me to do beings I’ve developed them within a 13 year period ya know.

    Any advice?

    Reply
  6. Rose Cocca

    i read all 30 stuff..what with a person can have another soulmate with is o.k. i dont know all there do and dont….no matter if you make the 30 stuff…it doent make it a relationship safe….it is up to us to make it work and not the rules…if i follow i would of been divorse a long time ago…but i try to stand by my man..even do he is dying….#1 arelationship is what you make it out of it..there is no rules for love….if you love one another why would a man stray…that means an outsider is better than his wife..and there is no love between them…if you love one another and TRUST AND HAVE FAITH AND LOVE…THAT IS ALL YOU NEED..THEN YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP.

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  16. terryf

    thanks Justine…. im in a abucy relatioship and im skerd to be along he nomers times coling me stuipet greeke and more … i pout ap so math for 5 year i dount no wat to do.

    Reply
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  18. diadriel

    I agree with Gina Rose, but would add, that in my study of “The Wheel”, what appears to be a ‘repeated mistake’ is only a way to see the same pattern in a different situation ( another place around The Wheel). Sometimes, until we are able to identify the wrong choice for us, in all the ways it can express itself, in all the situations it comes up, we will not finish learning about it, how to recognize it and move forward from it. My point is to support people into not beating themselves up for what appears to be a repeated mistake, but only another way to recognize the pattern to learn the lesson more deeply.

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  20. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Miss Krystal,

    Thank You……I really enjoy your company and the fun we have in our ” little corner “……LOL

    Have a great week……
    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  21. misskrystalmisskrystal

    Thanks, Gina Rose! And by the way, Congrats on your promotion! It is a pleasure to be able to be on the same network with you! Thanks for all the gal pal talk and the sharing of your psychic family dynasty….I listen to every word!!
    Huggies and big cheers,
    Miss Krystal

    Reply
  22. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Justine,

    I agree with Miss Krystal……and…..a bad relationship serves as a learning point…..to teach you what you don’t want in a relationship……as such…..you become much more discriminating and recognize those undesirable traits much quicker. It enables one to weed out the bad from the good sooner.

    This was a great article, from a unique, but very much valid, point of view.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    We are all down here to learn and grow…..how do we learn ????? From our mistakes of course…..and we will all make mistakes, that is just part of life……
    … but the KEY is to learn and grow from them and to try not to repeat the SAME mistake over and over.

    Reply
  23. misskrystalmisskrystal

    Very interesting article, Justine. Thanks. Yes, infants cannot survive on their own-as they have several levels yet of childhood development to yet go through….Vs. relationships-well, one could look at “relationship development”-I truly believe life offer lessons, and if one can look at the lessons, and learn, the better we can be at relationships.
    However, both parties in the relationship must be willing to find “middle grounds” or else, it could be very difficult…As a reader, I aim and strive to do my very best in order to see if there is any way to find a better “middle ground” for a couple-A psychic reader can pin point the key issues that are keeping relationships surpressed-and finding a better path to achieve better relationship development. Peace, Miss Krystal

    Reply

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