The #1 Thing Women Should Know About Men

Men are actually more emotionally driven than a good portion of women – the problem is, they just don’t know it yet. When women are learning to deal with men, there is a lot of stereotypical advice telling her he isn’t capable of high levels of commitment, he doesn’t have strong paternal instincts, and he is hopeless when it comes to one on one communication.

It is indeed true that a lot of men suffer from the John Wayne school of maintaining conversations, which is a lot of “Yups,” “Nopes,” and head nods, but it doesn’t have to be that way. The most important thing women should know about relationships with men is that they are very capable of intimate communication – they just need to know how to get past his hard shell.

Women have long been considered the more emotional gender, but evidence suggests that men are actually born with more expressive and reactive emotional capabilities. Over time, men learn that it’s not always appropriate to show these emotions, and hide them behind a learned poker face. Why? Because men are taught that revealing emotions is unmanly. There is also the suggestion that men may be hardwired to suppress emotions, to be better able to handle threatening situations (as in prehistoric times).

Well, it’s 2010, and men no longer need to resist their feelings in an effort to prove their machismo, or protect their loved ones from being trampled by unruly wooly mammoths. Here are a five ways women can help their man regain his ability to communicate and connect.

Reach Out

Men are the loneliest of genders, and it is because they often fail to reach out when they should. For this reason, women need to be especially conscious of his life and work stresses, as she cannot always count on him to ask for help when he needs it. A happy, supported guy, will lead to a happy, supported gal.

Touch

Studies show that men are handled with less touch from the age of three and up. This is a pity, really, as many men crave touch, and it has even been suggested this is one reason why men value the physical experience of sex so much. By touching a man before communicating, it is like opening the flood gates, allowing him to release his pent up inhibitions so that he can feel safe about opening up to her.

Interpretation

Men are not used to speaking with feelings, so if he is struggling to communicate, some psychologists advise women to help him by interpreting his gibberish or silence with her own interpretation of feeling. This not only gives a man confidence that she is trying to understand him, but it is teaching him how to communicate using an emotional vocabulary he may not be familiar with.

Understanding a Man’s Empathy

When a woman comes to a man for support, she is often disappointed that he squelches her needs with an organized series of steps/advice to help her. While women may read this as a cold response to her cry for support and understanding, this is actually his way of empathizing, showing his interest in wanting to make things better for her.

Fatherhood is Good Medicine

Some very interesting research has suggested that as men grow past the stages of getting a woman, and move to the stage of fostering a family (30 and up), he loses testosterone, which is replaced by prolactin (which stimulates lactation in pregnant mothers). Active fathers are predisposed to communicate with their children to help prepare them for life. This is also a time when women may find him easier to communicate with.

Don’t allow stereotypical rants to rule the way your relationships play out. Men and women are more capable of successful communication than many sources give us credit for!

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3 thoughts on “The #1 Thing Women Should Know About Men

  1. velvetoversteel

    Wow, Eric, this is the best explaination I’ve read on understanding men and why is a simple post.
    This explains even more than what I’ve figured out on my own. Men and women are different for many reason. Woman need to except that and give as much compassion and understanding to the men in our lives as we want from them.

    Great post, Eric!
    Hugs,
    Coreen @ VOS

    Reply
  2. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi…….Eric writes such great articles…..I enjoy hearing from the male perspective…..

    All good points.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply

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