What Enabling Them Does to You

When Good Intentions Go Bad

Are you an enabler? Do you ever find yourself drained after attending to an overly needy friend, or after over-catering to a partner? Are you always walking on eggshells around a family member? It’s time to take a step back!

Are you any closer to your goals? Get a reading with a life path psychic like Psychic Oren and find out!

This month, try something different! Don’t pay the bills your partner is capable of paying. Don’t cook every meal for your partner or children. Instead, encourage them to help with meals or teach them how to cook.

Avoiding Confrontation

You may be enabling them to avoid confrontation. But now you are responsible for everything—the house, the bills and their emotional needs. What about your needs? It’s not about being self-absorbed; it’s about respecting yourself, and that starts with healthy boundaries.

A Well-Oiled Machine?

If you are taking care of everyone else’s needs, you are always going to be running low on “fuel.” The “miles” will take their toll on you. “Oil changes” will be missed, “batteries” will die and all that “routine maintenance” you’ve been putting aside will turn into a catastrophe. Let me illustrate.

Pam and Cindy

Pam and Cindy have been friends since grade school. Now, Pam is two years into a nasty divorce and has relied heavily on Cindy for moral support. Cindy has been there for it all. However, Cindy also has three boys to take care of, a husband suffering from PTSD, and a sick dog. But Cindy has been there for Pam. In fact, she is so preoccupied with Pam that she has neglected her family and home.

Pam Takes Advantage

Cindy cooks and cleans for Pam. She pays Pam’s bills. In the beginning, it was great that Cindy was helping Pam. But Pam began to take advantage of Cindy’s kindness. She asked Cindy to do things she was more than capable of doing herself. Pam also had Cindy drive with her to appointments and sent her to buy groceries. Not once did Pam show concern for how her neediness impacted Cindy’s life.

Taking a Toll on Cindy

It wasn’t long before Cindy started to show the mileage that Pam’s constant drama was putting on her life. She was so drained that she couldn’t remember what her family needed from the grocery store or what she had done a few seconds ago. Cindy needed to learn the importance of taking care of herself and not spreading herself so thin.

Don’t Lose Focus

Your physical body is the vehicle that transports you through the rainy, sunny and even foggy moments of your life. Use your “breaks”! Stop and consider if helping someone else is really the best use of your time. Instead, you could be focusing on your own well-being. Use your “turn signal” and let others know that you are making a “shift.” You can put yourself in “reverse” if you’ve forgotten something, and drive forward when you need to pass through some difficult moments. Stay in “neutral” if you need to meditate. Most importantly remember, “Objects in mirror are larger than they appear.” So ask yourself, “If I help them, will I be enabling them to continue down this dark path? Will it make me lose my focus?” Enabling someone makes them helpless.

I know you have what it takes to get to your destination, but enabling others will definitely slow you down.

Psychic Oren

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