In matters of the heart, while many women claim to want a happily-ever after ending, some ladies consistently make poor choices towards that desirable goal. Whether consciously or not, these women often pursue the guys that, tragically, they cannot have. Let’s examine a few of the most common explanations for this self-defeating behavior.
Your First love
A woman’s first experience with love is generally through her relationship with her parents. Your father represents the first man you will ever bond with in your life, and the nature and impact of that relationship may color, for good or bad, every adult relationship you have later in life. If you had an absent father, or an emotionally unavailable one, you may find yourself falling for the same type of man as a mature woman.
Many women with a fear of intimacy find it comfortable to fall for unavailable men. This way they feel safe to feel emotions for the person without having to risk their heart. They are free from experiencing the negative emotions associated with a challenging or failing relationship such as disappointment, betrayal, or rejection.
The Man of Your Dreams
Some women prefer to remain in a fantasy world when it comes to their relationships. Rather than finding a guy who is ready to be with you, you prefer to care for him from afar, where you can paint an idealistic picture of a false and perfect relationship.
The Thrill of the Chase
Then there are those women who find it challenging, perhaps titillating, to desire and pursue that which they can’t have. While you may find this behavior more prevalent in men in the dating game, there are women who take a similar approach to pursuing the opposite sex. When the person is unavailable, it adds an exciting dimension to “landing the guy” which some women find addicting and irresistible.
It is easy to see here why some women do indeed end up chasing that “less than available” man, depending on their perspective on dating and males in general. Being conscious of your thoughts and behaviors when it comes to choosing a mate—and resolving to change them for the better—goes a long way towards finding a fulfilling relationship where you can appreciate all of its ups and downs. At least you have the rewarding knowledge that it’s the real thing.