The Importance of Friendship

There have been so many books, theories and surveys focused on how to maintain a personal relationship or marriage. It really does get confusing. Chemistry, respect and commonalities are all important considerations. Yet genuine friendship seems to somehow get downplayed in the long run.

The qualities of the other person – you know, the ones that were so endearing in the beginning? Are they now equally endearing, or simply commonplace, if not irritating? Has the relationship evolved along with the two of you, or has it stagnated? How healthy is the friendship compared to when you first met?

Genuine friendship is the foundation for any relationship, and must be nurtured every day, from moment to moment.  Friendships are NOT to be taken for granted, whether married or not.  They are fragile, and as one small hurt, neglect or resentment is compounded by another, the friendship dissolves, leaving only loneliness and a sense of bondage.

Why is it easier to be powerful in our friendships, yet so co-dependent in our partnerships? The belief that one partner is supposed to complete the other is a delusion.  Only disappointment will follow. The ideal relationship is embodied in this image: (Click here to see.) – it’s from the deck of “Soul Cards.” It represents a man and a woman, standing back to back, both pointed in opposite directions, but holding hands. They are both living their lives, open to their destinies, but they are choosing to do it together. Thus, they are honoring themselves first, as individuals, and placing the relationship second. They are together because they want to be, not because they HAVE to be. THIS is what we call friendship. The foundation of a loving partnership.

What are your thoughts on how to best foster, and maintain, friendship?

11 thoughts on “The Importance of Friendship

  1. Ejimnkeonye Loveth

    Yes, Friendship before marriage creat fun in relation, aids the both parties to hav much experience to share in future and it makes communication easier.

  2. Ejimnkeonye Loveth

    Friendship before marriage creat fun in relation, aids the both parties to hav much experience to share in future and it makes communication easier.

  3. idris777

    Reading this article has compelled me to write my story.
    Having got married just last weekend to my best friend of 23 years! He was my boss all those years ago he was married and 6 months later I married. We had kept in touch all these years through divorces children and broken relationships but we always seemed to miss eachother, we were never single at the same time.
    two years ago I decided to tell him how I felt and how I knew one day we would be together. I was so relieved when he revealed he felt the same way otherwise our friendship would never be quite the same.
    I am the happiest I have ever been we know eachother inside out and know all the skeletons in the cupboards. We do have regrets that we didnt do this 20 years ago each of us too scared to risk losing the friendship.
    So to all of you out that sat in the background hoping one day we will be together speak out as life is too short. I only hope that we are blessed with good health to be together for as long as we can.

  4. Tatiana

    Some friendships are Meant to be together for ever, however there are some friendships that were meant to be only short term, maybe you needed to be put back on track on your life path and this friendship put you there.

    In any case they wioll always have a big impact in your life. You will always have a bond that cannot be broken ever.

    Blessings 🙂

    Tatiana ext. 5189

  5. anaselax5154anaselax5154

    Hi Phillip,

    I believe that in any type of relationship in order to have harmony, and love
    both parties must be emotionally vested. Being there because they want to be.
    Often times life gets in the way pulling each in different directions just to get through the day.
    Finding just a moment to say I love you… can make all the difference.


  6. thelovelyducklingthelovelyduckling

    First let me say, Phillip, how absolutely ecstatic I am that you are writing things for the blog again!!! THANK YOU!!!

    If romance is the heart of the relationship, then friendship is the soul. The soul is the basis of everything and no relationship can be sustained without it.

    Duck 🙂

    1. admin

      I agree with Duck! Blessed to have Phillip grace us with his brilliance and piercing wisdom.

  7. misskrystalmisskrystal

    Hi Phillip,
    I really enjoyed this article. Thanks.

    As a reader, I can’t help but notice that so many times there are high levels of “Romance”, but, the real element of friendship is lack thereof. In other words, I have seen intense romantic and physical connections, yet, someone is either not being their true self or, there is a strong level of resistance and privacy. Actually, those are “blocks” and these types of “ties” will not be strong enough to have real, true partnership evolvement.

    In platonic friendships, when one person feels hurt, and expresses it, the other side needs to be strong and, show resilience-don’t just quit!…..Most of the time, instead of trying, one side will let go…..As a result, the friendship fades. Please be honest with yourself before you let a dear friend go, nobody is perfect. The ego has a way of doing “numbers” on us and wants to show, “I don’t need you.” Therefore, be honest with yourself, because if the friend that you are letting go of, was pretty good to you; however, for the most part, believe me, one day you will feel that you may need them, and it will or, could be, too late. On the other hand, if the platonic friendship is still new, and there are already problems, it’s a big red flag that it was not meant to be, and then it would be best to let it go. All relationships take work, understanding and respect.

    Thanks again for a wonderful article.
    Miss Krystal

  8. Jacqueline

    Hi Phillip,
    I enjoy your articles, too often I have talked to many clients who feel that there partner should have the same interest as they do, but you are right this stops a person from becoming there true self, many times our partners come into our life to show and teach us something of course this is on a sub-conscience level, we are to grow and become who we came her to become.

    Blessings and Big Hugs!
    Jacqueline x9472

  9. velvetoversteel

    This is absolutely true! Friendship is the foundation of a loving couple. The some of that first passion can fade out over time, but true friendship can last forever. I’m looking for my best friend first! Then everything else is fall into place. I just know it!

    A happy couple or even just friends, are when each person has their own life and purpose. Sharing their experiences with each other, not depending on the other to create our experiences all the time.

    I think a great way to maintain and foster friendships, esp. in a marriage, is to spend time together doing fun or interesting things. Just like we do with our ‘friends’ from work, school, etc. Make some fun dates along with the romantic ones. Hang out, takes walks together, anything where you can talk and listen to each others thoughts and feelings.

    Thank you, Phillip, for a Great post!
    Hugs and Blessings,

  10. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Phillip,
    Excellent 5 star article…..a solid foundation, based upon friendship and respect for each others differences and likes…..makes for a lasting relationship that can weather the good times and the bad alike.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    I REALLY, REALLY liked this article.


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