Speak Up: He’s Not That Into You

When he doesn’t call, visit or has a hard time finding time for you, it’s a sign that he isn’t as into you as he might tell you he is. Actions speak!

Why is He Ignoring Me?

Tywania in Pensacola, FL asks:

He labels me as his future wife, but he never calls or visits, because we live in diffrent cities. I only get a text every other day. What does this mean?”

Dear Tywania,

Let me give you the simplest of advice: actions speak louder than words! Your guy may be labeling you all kinds of things, but the actions you are describing to me are weak, at best. The fact that he doesn’t bother calling you and doesn’t visit and can only find time once every couple days, is highly suspicious to me; even though I hate to say it so bluntly.

I found out years ago that a guy who doesn’t put any effort into seeing me, or spending time and space with me, is generally either up to no good, or simply not that much into me. Unless your boyfriend has a super demanding career that requires him to work around the clock, there is absolutely no excuse for so little, or shall I say, no effort at all.

I don’t know how long you guys have been together, and again, I am not a psychic, but the actions alone look as if he either has another person on the side, or is simply too selfish to make time for you. Either scenario is not one I would put up with. Also, you aren’t telling me how far you guys are apart? Does he live an hour away, or minutes? But regardless of distance, a person who does not ever pick up a phone to call is generally hiding something. That is simply my experience. And not finding a few minutes to at least send a text is also lame.

“You must first decide that you are worthy of love and that your value to be loved is not determined by someone else but yourself.” – William ext. 5131

Based on the little information you gave me, it appears that this guy is neither someone who is into you, nor wants to spend the rest of his life with you. I cannot find any reason or excuse for him to be aloof, standoffish and unavailable, unless he has something to hide.

Let me repeat it again: actions speak louder than words! If his actions are nonexistent, the words don’t mean a thing. Remember, no one determines your value but you! So if you want a committed relationship with someone who is available, open, honest and willing to go any distance for you, I’d say go find it somewhere else.

“Real trust takes real time.” – Reed ext. 5105

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4 thoughts on “Speak Up: He’s Not That Into You

  1. Maxim

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  2. angela a

    I know all about men’s dirty, little secrets, but nothing as horrible as my last ones. It broke my heart, when the truth finally came out (prison record, 4 arrests, abused as a child-adopted +
    angry at birth mother-level 2 sex offender). The guy’s brother (still incarcerated) doesn’t stand
    a chance at improvement, since there are no effective, successful treatments for this disorder.
    Family enabling & deep denial certainly aren’t the answers. It’s too f’ing bad, because the bro-ther seemed like a decent man for the 2 yrs I spent time w/ him. But who in their right mind would co-exist w/ such a sick puppy???I walked away because of his family issues. As women, we need to empower ourselves and realize another person’s past/baggage, psychological scars are NOT HER ISSUE. Gretchen409, 6/9/12

    Reply

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