Are You Settling in Love?

Are You Dumbing-Down Your Relationship Requirements and Settling?

Are you selling yourself short, dumbing-down your desires or just settling for what’s available right now? Do you find yourself doubting, feeling unsure or perhaps even knowingly taking a certain relationship route that’s not in line with your heart’s desire? If so, then you’re settling on a relationship that’s not tapping into your deepest relationship needs. So then the question becomes, “Why are you settling?”

Get to the root of why you’re settling with a revealing, heart-healing reading from Psychic Winter ext. 9002. 

Am I Settling?

If you’re settling, don’t be so hard on yourself; we all settle to some degree in varying areas of life. Nothing is perfect, especially relationships, and that’s because no one is perfect. Life isn’t a fiction novel. However, the degree to which you’re settling is the difference between being with just someone versus being with “the one.”

Judgments and Justifications

Every relationship comes with a sprinkle of doubt and hesitation—it’s a natural part of being human; we question everything good, bad or indifferent. There is, however, a big difference between a passing flutter of doubt and a nagging knowing.

Go ahead, ask yourself—are you settling? And if you are, how long do you intend to continue?

People have a lot of reasons for settling—here are some quotes I’ve personally heard:

• “I’d rather be unhappy than alone.”
• “There’s a tick-tock on my baby clock.”
• “They give me financial stability.”
• “Pressure from outside sources.”

These responses stem from feelings of fear, anxiety, selfishness, indebtedness and a whole host of negative origins, and none of them come from the heart—and that’s the real tell, isn’t it?

Ready to find out when you’ll meet your soulmate? Psychic Rogers ext. 5327 is here to tell you.

Hey, What About Me?

If you choose to live in a hut because the person you love likes to live in a hut, that’s a personal choice. If you’re with someone just because you don’t want to live in your hut alone, then you’re settling—and that’s not doing anyone any favors.

It takes two to tango, as they say. So if you are settling, then either now or later you’ll have to learn to live with a degree of unhappiness, and that means your partner will too.

You’re Missing Out

When you settle you might also be sabotaging your chances for meeting the right person for you.

Here’s an example:
You’re out at a restaurant.

In one reality, you’re with Mr./Ms. Right-Now. Suddenly Mr./Ms. Right comes along and sits at the table next to yours.

Your eyes meet for an instant—there’s obvious spark—but either they won’t engage you at all, or they’ll say hello, you’ll flirt, look foolish and insensitive, hurt your date’s feelings and it’s one big mess.

In an alternate reality, you’re with your friends at that same table. Along comes Mr./Ms. Right and they sit at the table next to yours. You both flirt, exchange numbers, and the rest is blissful history.

Don’t miss out.

If you’ve ever asked that person in the mirror, “Are you settling?” then you should probably also ask them, “Why?”.

Who is your Mr./Ms. Right? Get a love reading from Psychic Ginger ext. 9344. 

14 thoughts on “Are You Settling in Love?

  1. LJ

    Dear Susan B.: I read your comment with a heavy heart. Life is precious and I think you know that – at least it seems you do, so don’t fall into those little pits of doubt and moments that make you consider such a drastic thing. You were caught trying to take those pills for a reason – you’re being looked after by someone and I feel they are telling you that you have so much to live for – I think you realize that too. You are not happy in that relationship, but it’s not the reason why things are not so great in your life – except for the fact that your soul knows that you’re not being true to your heart. When we’re in difficult times we sometimes make bad decisions. Good news is – you can change all of that. First, I’ love for you to talk to someone – I feel that more than anything – you need support. A third-party whose only interest is in helping you. I also feel that you might find a job in a field you never considered – be open to change. And as for love, you deserve someone who supports your spirit. Change is hard and so is letting go, but first take care of yourself and then make the changes you need to with a clear head and an clear heart. I wish you the best. I have confidence in your ability to pull through. Tell everyone you know that you need and want work and let them help you – little by little your confidence will grow again. Stay positive. You have my sincerest wishes for your best life possible.
    ~LJ

    Reply
  2. LJ

    To Brenda C = You love your cats, you only dated the guy. Be confident and find a cat-loving man who can share your world with you. I’m sure the guy you dated liked you and connected with you and it’s a loss, yes, but the alternative would be to get rid of your furry friends for a relationship that may or may not work out in the end? Go find your cat lover girl – he’s out there.
    ~LJ

    Reply
  3. LJ

    Dear Readers: I’m pleased to see that this article helped a lot of people open up and think about their personal situations. Brenda – I hope it hit you in the face in a good way and not the hurting way – it’s true though that sometimes taking a look at our own lives from the outside in can be a bit of an eye-opener. Relationships grow and change over time – and how they affect our lives may come about slowly sometimes. I invite you all to comment and share – it’s the beginning of bringing your inner feelings to the surface which is the only way to be truthful with ourselves and to be the change that we’d like to see in love. I wish you all the best in love and in life. Thank you.
    ~LJ

    Reply
  4. Fallon

    This is for Susan Barlett:
    I promise you, you get rid of him. Seriously throw your hands up and walk away and you will do better. Not a Virgo but a Capricorn and we are VERY STRONG!!Move forward now!!!! YOU can do this!!!!!!

    Reply
  5. Alexandra

    I settled for many years in a marriage that was no longer working… met some real good
    prospects in the meantime; one in particular that I would have been happy with…but
    passed the opportunity thinking things would change for the better in the marriage;
    religious beliefs and waiting for children to be on their own. Now, some years later and older, hoping there may still be a chance to find that right one for me. Thought I found it several years ago in a 2 wonderful years relationship…but, his life turned upside down, we had to part 2 years ago; still wishing to have him back… but open to other possibilities since time passes us by fast and we don’t get any younger.

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  6. Brenda

    I was (still am) married for 20 years.we hsve been seperated for about 21/2 yeard now…i never in a milloin years thoughtwe uld part….well i couldnt get out fast enough..tookit took tjhme a good year to really make my mind up…it was phisical and mental abuse for me..any i left.. i have kniwn Greg (the new man in my life) fr akmost two years been together most of two…he is s good man with a good hesrt….treats me like gold..we are good together….but deep down i think is he the one i havent dated much st sll…their is a part of me that is saying noooo…but i find myself wanting to b with him comoany eisebut then ooppps gotta go..i guess kniwing im in controle of what i want to do instead of him….pmy ex has left some sour memories

    Reply
  7. sugar

    Sorry I was responding earlier n must have sent too soon..(thz is sugar by the way) wanted 2 close that issue w thz:
    I know its gotta b me that ‘gets out” in way of my old thnkin. For now learnin 2 disciplne ME! Gotta b wer it strts ladies n also gentts. Much lov & i would like 2 read som feedback as am new to thz so pleas b patient w/me…thnx

    Reply
  8. sugar

    Don’t know depndin how I feel cuz undoubtably my real issues Com from past childhood Issues/ unstable household-leavin by 16 of age swan-diving into a concrete jungle(wes los angeles) wer odds way stackd against one. Been thru it frm-losses either due 2incarcerations 2 homocides. Or jus plain out 2 people so compatible-but sooo damaged. How can fix thz? See why i settle w/sam pattern? Try hard 2 deprogram way of
    thnkn. Can i hav tht “one”? Mayb but does hav

    Reply
  9. Chrissi

    I settled- guy I really loved well he was of a culture whose family arrange their marriage and as soon as they found out about us he was married off- in those days there was no way out for him. I spent the next years looking for a replacement married a guy from work thought he was ok (and he was also parentally approved) but that only lasted 18 months before he left and went back to his mum so the search resumed I even let someone stay at my place as my family thought I should have someone living with me but that was a definite mistake- the female took advantage and got me into debt, then the guy who moved in after beat me because I didn’t want a relationship I was so afraid to go home I used to stop off for a drink every night- got chatting to the barman who was a laugh and, long story short he helped me get away from my abuser even though I lost my flat and a lot of my things- but if it wasn’t for my first love who somehow had heard and gave me a talking to I would have carried on trying to get the guy out instead of just getting myself out- and getting beaten- the barman asked me out and not long after he proposed and we married 23 years later we have a son, now 21, but when I heard four years back that my first love had died not only did all the feelings I had for him return with a vengeance but I realised I had only married my husband because he had rescued me that the feelings I had had were not love but lust mixed with gratefulness- over the years I thought the lack of feeling was just because we’d been through a lot together and I would never hurt him as I know he really does love me but I had hoped that once he had done his family duty and brought up his sons my first love and I would be together again, especially as his cousin and some friends had told me he still loved me – but because he had died this could never happen

    Reply
  10. Brenda Calzolano

    Recently registered on match.com. Have received many emails from guys who liked my picture. Talked to a few of them. Met one and dated for a few weeks, but he didn’t call me after a day of an alleged “allergy” attack that he equated to me having cat dander on my clothes. Not sure if that was a cop out as we were together for about 3 hours before it affected him. I asked him if he wanted me to leave and he said he thought it was best. I was upset, and he did not call me the next day. That night I saw he was on match.com. In hind site, I should have called him the next day to see why he didn’t call (we had been talking on the phone 3x a day), but I didn’t.

    Can you tell me what you see in my future? Immediate or long-term.

    Thanks,
    Brenda

    Reply
  11. Susan Bartlett

    I am very unsure where my life is heading at this particular moment in time, I have tried so very hard to get a job for the last year, been on lots of interviews, still after all this time haven’t got no- where. went back to college to gain further qualifications for a new direction, but with a saddened heart still nothing. A couple of weeks ago I tried to take my life and took an overdose of tablets and wine, I was saved as I was caught doing this. felt so very down with everything, it seems like the harder I hard the worst it becomes. I meet a fella who I thought would be good for me, now I have many doubts about him, found that he likes drinking every day. Not really happy with that as it causes so many arugments and our relationship looks very dim. I want to walk away and forget all about him, but for some strange reason im still holding on a little. I was so happy a few weeks ago, I did,nt mind trying and pushing forward and was very postitive . but I just feel like I have a hole somewhere on my body and all the energy I had and postitivity I had is draining out of this hole. I am not blaming him for how I feel but when I have sat here in deep thought I just feel that since hes been in my life its all turned the wrong way. He,s a saqutrius a strong willed person who likes his freedom a lot, gets bored very quickly. Where I am a virgo who will try to stay busy, love helping people, like being at home with my family. He tends to moan a lot about life and I try to stay happy. I don’t know if this relationship is healthy for my well being really. I need postitive people in my life who love life who are postitive, Not someone who blames everybody for the way he is. who is only happy when he has had a drink, not a natural way of thinking. I know I will have to stay strong now and try hard to get back to where I was, I will get there and will keep trying no matter what, I never ever wont to feel like I did them couple of weeks ago, feeling so down that I wanted to end my precious life, I know there has to be something more to come something good out of all of this. and im willing to wait and try and keep a happy heart.

    Reply
  12. Barbara Williams

    Yes cause I know that he loves me but don’t know how to show it he makes me feel like he don’t love me.that I am the next best thing.not what he want at all.

    Reply

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