What You Shouldn’t Do When Your Relationship is Struggling

Every Relationship Has its Ups and Downs

Even the best romantic relationships have their ups and downs. You could have nothing but bliss for a few months or years and then the Universe decides to throw a wrench in your happy life. Suddenly, you and your partner are faced with difficulties and stress. Are you suffering from the loss of a parent or child? Are you struggling on one income? Has your partner cheated on you? Have either of you been diagnosed with a chronic medical problem or are either of you struggling with drug addiction? These kinds of experiences can destroy your romantic relationship—if you let them.

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If your relationship is struggling, you may be tempted to do certain things to make yourself feel better. But often our first reactions to stress and despair are never the best for us in the long run. Here’s what you shouldn’t do when your romantic relationship is struggling.

Don’t Assume They’re Not Your Soulmate

Some people think that the person they’re with isn’t their soulmate because their relationship is struggling. Well true love isn’t perfect and true love should be challenged. How can you know if the person you’re with is your soulmate if nothing bad ever happens to either one of you? How can they prove their love to you and how can you prove your love to them if either one of you is never challenged by the Universe? If life hands you lemons, you and your partner need to make lemonade together. That’s what soulmates do. So don’t look at any struggle in your relationship as an obvious sign of incompatibility.

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Don’t Assume Things Will Never Get Better

Most relationship struggles are temporary and can be overcome. Lost a job? Get a new one. Someone you love dies? If you learn to deal with the loss, it gets a little easier every day. There’s rehab and counseling for people with addictions who want to get better. Debilitating injury? It’s most scary in the beginning, but with education and therapy, it becomes more manageable over time. A period of struggle is not a relationship death sentence and it’s pessimistic to assume things will never get better.

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Don’t Cheat on Your Partner

When a relationship becomes difficult, some people look outside of it for the comfortable, romantic, and carefree feelings they used to have with their partner. Resist all urges to cheat on your significant other! It doesn’t matter if it’s a physical or emotional affair—they’re two sides of the same infidelity coin. Whatever struggles and stress you currently have, you’re going to make it a million times worse if you seek comfort and affection outside of your relationship.

Don’t Keep Your Feelings to Yourself

Don’t keep your feelings bottled up inside. Stressful situations cause physical and emotional pain. Share your feelings with someone you trust—your partner, friend, spiritual leader, therapist or psychic. One of the worst thing you can do for yourself and your relationship is to pretend like you aren’t upset and stressed. Feel your feelings, get the tools to work through them and then let them go.

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Relationship stresses can be overcome, but you can’t do it alone. You and your partner need to form an unbreakable bond and face whatever the Universe throws at you—head on. If you go into it with a strong bond, you’ll come out the other side with an even stronger bond. If you go into it with a shaky bond, it’s likely that your relationship won’t survive.

17 thoughts on “What You Shouldn’t Do When Your Relationship is Struggling

  1. Lake Girl

    In todays world, if things don’t go right, we think, well, we can get on the computer and find a replacement. Resist the temptation to do that, and let things die down after an altercation of words. You will usually find that the relationship is not over, it is just a bump in the road. If you have jumped back on a dating site, now the partner has gotten over his/her snit, and you have the partner back, and someone you just met online!……..Yikes!…………

    On another issue, don’t waste your time with someone who is not ever going to be your partner, whether he/she is married, in another relationship or they have told you that they plan to be single, remain with their current partner. The worst of these cases seem to be the married men, who perhaps are separated but not willing to completely leave the wife. Statistics tell us that 90% of married men who are having an affair NEVER leave the wife for the woman they are having an affair with.

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  2. Joie De Vivre

    Hi, I love the article, great advice for some! I have just recently ended a 16yr marriage and an 18yr relationship with my husband. I know now that he is my Karmic Soul Mate, as he came from a dysfunctional family. Drug abuse, he saw his mom get physically abused on a daily basis, there was also cheating and abandonment. I know now that I was chosen to help him deal with his deep seeded issues, and he has many. He was molested at a sleep over when he was 8yrs old, we are both in our 40’s. He told me this in the begining of our relationship, I felt sorry for him, I tried to get him to seek advice and or counselling. I was raped by a boyfriend when I was 16, specifically sodomized…my husband new of this experience. Having anal sex was never an option for me!
    My husband, who I believed to me my Soul Mate, sexually molested me in my sleep, and drugged me in order to do these things to me, for 6yrs, I knew of 4yrs, he just told me about the other 2yrs..We have 2 children, I stayed with him in this HELL for my kids, only now to realize that was a bigger mistake. One night I decided to take my own life, oblviously I didn’t, but that night I screamed a few things I would rather keep private, I was saved and a new man who I now know to be my real Soul Mate saved me, we saved eachother, he to was going to take his life that night. I believe we all have many Soul Mates that come in and out of our lives, and my advice, if it doesn’t feel good or make you feel good, let go of the old, so you can bring in the new, and don’t hold onto something if your heart isn’t in it!! You’re only prolonging the inevitable, and hurting yourself.
    The strange thing about all of this is he lives 3000 Miles away from me, we have never met in person, I know that he is my true Soul Mate, my Twin Flame. I loved him from the inside out, before I saw his face :))))) and he’s Handsome 😉 not that it would matter, but it’s a definite bonus

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  3. lonely one

    I had a mate but my friend has him now i don’t know if he thinks about me are not but I wish that we could have be just friends

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  4. mmdirtnerd@gmail.com

    Okay..Beautiful article
    You do have to remember “emotional support”, we have friends that we confide in to ease of struggles. So in any relationship (after you add the sex or commitment) is talking to friends and an emotional affair?

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  5. Heather

    After reading this I believe there are NO coincidences. I just broke-up with my soul mate. He has chosen to devote his time to work and his children. He AND I are both miserable….in two different states. I NEVER thought this would happen.
    I begin to question EVERYTHING in our relationship. (Let me add there is a mother of the children present in this scenario). He came from a highly dysfunctional family, and all he wanted was a family of his own. His X wife cheated on him, and he became tormented and destructive. He tried almost all ways to put the family back together.
    Obviously, this did not happen. We met by chance….started a whirlwind romance, and just LOVED one another. He would vacillate between Me, the love who awakened him….and this notion to get the family back together. It was frustrating, but I was patient.
    Now….I have said goodbye, wished him the very best…and am miserable. It was too much pressure to compete, and totally unfair to me. I love him to this day…he makes me feel important (as I am) special, loved, our communication was open and extremely honest….He IS my soul mate. I really wonder if he comes back….will I go on the Merry Go Round again????? UGH…In love and truly confused. I suppose I will remain “open” for we don’t know what is in store for us.
    When one door closes, another door opens….BUT It is HELL in the Hallway!
    Best….

    Reply
  6. LightA

    Good article and wise words but I feel that the Universe doesn’t test or throw bad things at us, we chose a long time ago what we each go through in life as we are each here to learn from things/situations/the people whose path we cross for our soul’s growth and advancement across lifetimes. And if we have real love and respect for our partner – nothing can shake that unbreakable bond, whether in this life or future ones and we can get through anything together. x

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  7. Marsha Gualandri

    Well I wish I would’ve had someone to guide me in 2009 when me & my husband went though a hell of a storm . So many problems came at us ! Me losing my job and our daughter getting pregnant from a guy we couldn’t stand to our car getting wreck ! To my in laws disowning my husband for him standing up his mother and choosing his family over her ! Than a old friend mine coming in my life ruining our marriage unity because I was weak and my soul was weak for years my husband talk to everybody else but me !! That meaning other females from computer to on the phone to meeting people in the park while I was working ! So we have been living apart for 5 years I want him back but he will not come home !!! He was my BFF !! He was always there for me when my family wasn’t and my so called friends weren’t ! I feel alone w nobody ! This world is so hard and hurtful !! I’d do anything to have my husband back now !!!! I wish I would’ve had this advice 5 years ago ! So anyone who is reading this no matter what honor love and respect your husband or wife and hold on tight to each other !!! God will akways guide you !!!! I pray for all hurting relationships or marriages but pray together and forgive while u still can trust me !! Before its to late !

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  8. phillip9485Phillip 9485

    I totally agree Gina. Allan Kardec addressed this very topic 150 years ago in the “Spirits Book” which was a channeled question and answer compilation. I personally believe that whoever we are with, at any given moment, IS our soulmate at that time.

    Reply
  9. Jacquie Nash

    What a fantastic piece of advice. I am struggling with my marriage at the moment and feel like walking away. Your words are making me think twice. This is the worst struggle we have had due to a culmination of problems -a sick family member, work, intimacy, and a daughter’s attitude. The easiest thing would be to walk away but I know we have to work through it. Your words of advice have come just when I need them. Thank you so much.

    Reply
  10. Karen

    Maria, if you still care, if you still feel like there’s something there between you, and it wasn’t just lust or romantic obsession, then wait a while. Breathe, rest your body and soul and if you have a God/ Higher Power(s), pray. Try your best not to second guess the other person. Just be with you,kinda like you’re at a retreat. I did all the wrong things too. But when love exists, it doesn’t die that fast.
    When you’ve given them and yourself some space, try to talk to them. Don’t concern yourself with being humiliated or rejected. There’s no shame in being honest- if you * are* being honest. If you’re not sure you really want to get back together, then wait to see how you feel. Ironically, getting it all off your mind can help you know better.
    Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

    Reply
  11. cani dennis

    This is just the message for me!my partner and I stayed up till 12am discussing our struggles. Thanks for the article it just reassured me! X

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  12. Ivan

    A friend of mine was causing waves in his relationship where there were none. I gave him very similar advise as you have posted and they’re happi;y together. Good advise.

    Reply
  13. Ann

    Every person I heard from met me right where I’m at ! I like what Valerie says keeping my feeling bottle up that’s me! I’m hurting because IM IN LOVE WITH HIM

    Reply
  14. maria

    i did everything i should not do, now we are apart and have so much resentment and don’t feel like we were meant to be even though we finally got together after being apart for 27 yrs. we barely lasted 11 months together

    Reply
  15. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Well STAFF…..this was a great article….especially the ” don’t assume they’re not your soul mate ” part.

    I hate that new-agey term ” soul mate ” because it conjures up images of a fairytale romance.

    True soul mates come together as a catalyst for growth. AND , many times, face obstacles to spur and challenge that Karmic growth.

    In facing our obstacles , the soul is tested , and has a chance to grow, EVOLVE, to advance our Karmic growth.

    Which is WHY we are down here on the earthly plane to begin with….it’s ALL about learning and growing until the day we die.

    We learn from our mistakes ( hopefully ) and our life challenges, whether they affect us in a mental, emotional, or physical way.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply

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