Quit Making the Same Mistakes!

Whoops, I Did it Again

Both men and women repeatedly make the same mistakes that keep them from being happy and creating long, loving relationships. Is this a trend or human nature? Do we actually think that saying “I’m sorry” is going to heal the same acts of disruption and that we will be able to move forward, making a fresh start on shaky ground?

One of the biggest “whoops” is saying “I’m done,” “I’m leaving,” or “I want you to go and never come back.” I can’t tell you how many people call saying they said this to their lover, spouse, or life mate only to live to regret it. Breaking up does not solve any problems or issues. What it does do is create trust issues, and every time you get back together, it’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop, and the threat of “get out” or “I’m out of here” is sounded again. How does a person stop this cycle? One way is not to take the person back; another way is not to put the relationship on the line when there’s an argument or problem that cannot be solved in the moment. It’s time for the couple to learn to talk and work through the problems so that the relationship can become stable and trusting. Don’t use the relationship as a tool, eventually it will only end.

Avoiding conversations: this is a big “whoops.” Callers ask “How can I get my love to open up?” What’s really being said here is that I want my lover to tell me how much they love me, how great I am, that they will never leave me – really talking about the weather is not going to get it. Some people like to have peaceful, quiet dates or encounters. Some people love to chat and share all about themselves and how they feel. Some like to listen, although they do not share back about personal feelings it is not because they do not have them. They are a countless reasons why some do not talk easily. It is another “whoops” to push to hard in this realm as we can push a person over the edge and lose them in the process of getting to know them. Trying to make a person open up is not the way to get what you want. You keep asking for more but nothing changes, maybe they say they will try but alas, it does not manifest. Instead, watch how the person acts, if you are being treated kindly and lovingly you can pretty much figure that the person is into you.

Giant “whoops” cheating, not uncommon yet terribly hurtful. You have forgiven, you have forgotten, you have been to a marriage or relationship counselor – the “I’m sorry” words along with “it will never happen again” have been said more than you can count on your fingers and toes. But “I love them,” they are so good to me, they pay all the bills, do you think I should stay or what should I do? Will they cheat again? Really!

I call this “waiting for the key in the lock” syndrome. There are times when cheating is the least of one’s worries when it comes to relationships. Most of the time cheating is a sexual act, not an act of love. If you stay in the relationship, honesty about the lifestyle of the person who needs or wants more than one sexual partner should be out in the open. It can make it less hurtful if you’re both on the same page and learn how to deal with it. If this doesn’t work for you, get out – it’s hard to change a person with this nature.

Relationships are like flowers. The seed is planted, grows, blooms and fades on the vine. There is a flower that continues to rejuvenate—it is the lotus flower. It is in a continuous process of beauty. I wish all relationships could be like the lotus flower, and even with the biggest “whoops,” they would survive.

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5 thoughts on “Quit Making the Same Mistakes!

  1. -quinn ext.5484

    LJ – Gina Rose –
    thank you both very much…
    hope you are both enjoying the last days of the summer…
    buddha bless,
    -quinn

    Reply

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