The 4 Questions You Need Answers to Before Commitment

The 4 Questions You Need Answers to Before Commitment

4 Questions Before Commitment

Everyone wants to be loved, and love in our culture is often equated with some form of commitment. However, while so many of us are focused on the idea of commitment, most don’t take time out to consider what being committed actually means. A successful long-term relationship has many components. And while romantic love is a beautiful notion—and a real, amazing experience—it’s not the only thing two people need to weather the storms and maintain a lasting relationship. With that in mind, here are four basic questions you absolutely must consider before you consider a long-term love commitment.

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Do We Pay Attention to Each Other’s Needs?

It may seems so simple (and easy to do, especially early on), but being considerate of each other is a huge part of relationship commitment. When you’re partners, nearly every decision you make affects the other person. Thus, it’s important to consider whether or not you know what your partner needs and wants (and vice versa) and make a concerted effort to consider those needs and wants. If your partner pays attention to you (knows what you like, what you want, how you react in most situations, etc.) you will feel respected and acknowledged. And feeling respected and acknowledged is everything.

Do We Accept Each Other as We Are?

Acceptance, like being respected and acknowledged, is a core building block in any solid commitment. If you’re busy trying to change your partner (or they you), you’re both bound to be disappointed. Real love (of the deep, committed and lasting variety) means accepting your partner, warts and all. That doesn’t mean being mistreated or disrespected—no one should accept abuse. It means allowing your partner to be who they are—and unabashedly! If you find yourself feeling embarrassed or intolerant of their basic character traits, you’re not going to be happy with them over the long run and you probably shouldn’t commit to them either.

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Do We Appreciate Each Other?

Partnerships last because the people in them improve each other’s lives. Are you grateful for what you partner brings to your relationship? Do they value what you have to offer? If you aren’t being appreciated for who you are as an individual and what you bring to the relationship, you’re bound to feel undervalued over time, and that’s not good for anyone.

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Are We Friends?

When the passion dies down and when sex becomes less frequent (due to outside obligations, stress, children, health issues, etc.) will you still find each other compelling? Can you enjoy your time together without having sex? Your partner isn’t just your lover or a provider; they should also be your friend. That means they should be the first person you call when things go wrong or when something amazing happens to you. You need to genuinely like each other. If you don’t you may want to reconsider a commitment.

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10 thoughts on “The 4 Questions You Need Answers to Before Commitment


    Thank you for your article. But, I feel you can commit to someone without the ring and
    certificate ( look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell). Do you really need a piece of paper
    to love another person? That paper only binds you financially. Anybody can get up and
    leave you at anytime. Besides there are only financial problems when you get divorced.

  2. Andrew D. Rosen

    Thanks!!! My love, my partner, my friend . . my Mary and I have been together now 16 years . . . and growing. True there are times when we take a step back to review where we have been and where we are going. Then we hug for hours!!!!

  3. Chrissi

    Well after 24 years of marriage, hubby -and possibly me too- have lost most of these- though we are friends one two and three have gone some is I know due to my health issues and some well I don’t know- we have our 22 year old son living with us and money issues- as do most people nowadays and we certainly have communication issues he refuses to have any real discussion on finances- even though I have had to contribute to the household by pawning stuff I don’t want to lose as they were family stuff given and irreplaceable as well- they aren’t things I could ever find again I worry about the bills and having enough for emergencies while he – well doesn’t seem to but lashes out verbally if I try to raise the subject…

  4. Harold Gray

    another thought delving a little deeper: It was mentioned today, by the government, that more attention ought to be given to Science; and perhaps the development of behavior and attitude in the study of culture influenced through the absorption of nutrients…I hope you are with me…alcohol is a mixture of nutrients that influence the behavior and attitude of individuals who ingest it; an example derived through observation; what about other coalescing nutrients and their microbial influences on behavior; what would happen if large supplies of food were dropped in war zones? Just something to think about; perhaps requiring some clarification for understanding…and not that we should drop large amounts of nutrients rather than bombs…but begin to seek a heightened awareness of the associations of nutrients and behavior and attitude. Have a good day! :-)..and thanks!

  5. Harold Gray

    It would be nice to that type of energy mirrored through out society; especially from those in leadership positions. Thank you!

  6. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Best article I’ve read in awhile this year !!!! I’d put it in the top 5 for sure !

    Nice job, S.K. Smith

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500


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