Psychic Fiona: Do They Know You Cheated?

The Unrealized Aspect of Infidelity

The beginning of torment leading to depression, anxiety, and illness is the development of a dual personality. When we are uncomfortable with who or what we are, or what we have become, we try to conceal the aspect of our personality at the base of the torment, and pretend to be something different. This compartmentalization is a great waste. The best way to succeed in life, to create loving human relationships, is to allow our fullest personality to be manifest. Confidence is essential to both personal and professional successes. But how can we be confident when hiding something that we are ashamed of?

Like a brilliant sun at high noon, the human personality is sufficiently warm, vibrant, and compelling to make every acquaintance into a friend, and even an adversary into a comrade. But when partially concealed, it loses its potency. We are simply not effective in creating loving relationships with half our personality tied behind our backs.

The same is true in marriage. A husband or wife who is unfaithful damages him or herself and threatens their marriage. The damage will not occur because of the transgression. Many spouses never discover the infidelity, yet if they do, people are forgiving, and couples try to get beyond acts of faithlessness. Rather, the damage occurs because it takes all of our Self to be successful in showing love to our spouse. Relationships are always works in progress. When a husband is hiding half of his character because of wrongdoing, he will be an ineffective lover and companion. Rather than using his creative energy to be passionate with his wife, he will be using his intellectual faculties to hide his infidelity.

The whole beauty of marriage is its naturalness. It is with our partner that we can be the most genuine and sincere at all times. Once there is a secret that cannot be disclosed, we excavate part of ourselves in which to hide the infraction. But like cancer it grows, and over time we become two different people. We cannot be ourselves with our spouse, and our informality and loss of constraints is forfeited. Soon, petty irritations erode the foundations of the relationship. People are not wired to be alone, yet we find ourselves deliberately placing space between us and our spouse in those places where there should be togetherness. We feel alone within our own marriages. Everything converts to energy, and because we have strained the invisible heart-to-heart connection that bonds us to the other, the internal pressure of carrying the “do they know” question stands like a pillar between them. The couple ceases to be a soulmate to the other. They have forfeited the expression of emotional vulnerability essential to every marriage. Instead, they now wear garments of deception.

The Sanskrit teachings declare that a man without a home is not a man. The only place where we all feel completely comfortable, where we can really be ourselves, is in the privacy of our own homes. But the man who has lost his innocence has no home. Everywhere he goes invites discomfort. There is no place left for him to let his hair down. Even in the presence of his wife, he is always on guard, trying to remember never to be himself because he might reveal his indiscretions.

Without innocence, there can be no peace. Without peace, there can likewise be no happiness. Yet, the potential within the marriage that was there before the indiscretion is not lost. It is still there, waiting for the time when it will be accessible and once again, brought forth into expression. Even when deeply hurt partners are forgiving, there is an inner drive within us to heal, to make sense of things and to find meaning in what has happened to us. As psychics, we hear this soul-cry search for meaning every day.

To heal, you don’t necessarily have to relive every detail of what happened to the partner. Just processing the meaning can be enough. Through dealing appropriately with the present, and setting healthy boundaries to live by, the past can be reworked without having to go back and disclose details that bring about more suffering. Every situation is different, but the bonds of love that exist with your partner are stronger than you think. Sincerity has its own reconnecting energy that is felt heart to heart, and your partner’s heart is beating.

7 thoughts on “Psychic Fiona: Do They Know You Cheated?

  1. saladlady

    This is EXCELLENT insight and rarely presented in this manner. People don’t realize that infidelity and lack of integrity hurts the perpetrator as much, or more than the victim. Unfortunately, our world glamorizes and sensationalizes, a carnal, lower-vibrational way of life. Every act of dishonesty and moral compromise pulls the Spirit Self our God Self down toward negativity and heavy dark emotional and psychological energy. To live our lives freely, happily and lovingly, we must raise the bar by being honest with ourselves and ALL those in our lives. In this manner we will receive more LIGHT, more PEACE, more full JOY of living this wonderful gift of life. This “LIGHTNESS-of-BEING” can begin with treating ourselves and those closest to us with integrity. Peace is the most precious thing in the universe. But it cannot be bought. It must be earned through small daily steps of being mindful of our character.

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  2. Longtallnikki

    Ok the key word was ashamed. The man I had a brief affair with was/is my Happy place. I’m not ashamed at all about the time we spent together. He made realize I deserve better and shouldn’t have to settle.

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  3. PE

    I really enjoy reading Fiona’s blog articles. As in her readings, she provides insights in these articles that help you understand why and how things happen.

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