Polyamory & Compersion: A New Model of Happiness & Pleasure

Are You Ready to Explore a Different Kind of Love?

Chances are, you haven’t heard either of these words. You may even be shocked when you learn their meanings. But for some people, the power behind these words is life changing. It can literally open a world of pleasure and happiness that others only wish they could have.

This brief article is not meant to change your beliefs or attitudes. It is only meant to give information so you can either investigate more or at least not be shocked by what others do.


There was a TV commercial a few years ago where parents got a tremendous amount of joy and pleasure seeing their young child looking at an amazing theme park for the first time. That’s the basic concept behind compersion. It’s a new word that’s not in many dictionaries. It means empathically feeling happiness, joy, and pleasure when you see that someone you love is experiencing happiness, joy, and pleasure.

If we kick this up a notch, you may feel happiness, joy, and pleasure when your husband, wife, or lover is doing something they really love, even if you don’t like it. For example, some women aren’t big fans of football, but they get a real kick and enjoy it when their boyfriends or husbands enjoy the “big game.”

Now, let’s take this up one notch further. If you can get enjoyment when your partner enjoys the big game, or a trip to a museum, what about a passionate kiss from someone else? I’m not talking about being a voyeur, but if your partner gets happiness, joy, and pleasure from kissing someone else, can you empathically feel those same emotions? Or to make it a bit more challenging, can you feel happiness, joy and pleasure when your partner is experiencing those emotions by having sex with another person? That’s true compersion.

Yes, that goes against everything we’re taught. The handsome prince is supposed to take away the beautiful princess and they are supposed to ignore everyone else forever. “I’m yours. You’re mine.”

But wait a minute. That’s not love. That’s ownership. Ownership of this kind can lead to violence. “How dare you take away what I own!” or “If I can’t have you, no one can!”

If I truly love you, shouldn’t I want to see you having all the happiness, joy, and pleasure you can possibly have? Shouldn’t I feel wonderful knowing you are experiencing all of these wonderful things?

Yes, you have to be sure of your relationship and the love of your partner for this to work, but for those who can break through old archetypes of what’s expected, of jealousy, and of the myths of childhood, it can result in more pleasure and bliss and joy. It can also lead to something else…


You love your parents and grandparents. You may have stepparents whom you love too, along with aunts, uncles, cousins, and of course, several children. In fact, you’re expected to love all of them.

But you can only love one spouse. He or she is supposed to supply all the romantic and sexual love you will ever need, always be understanding, always be in the mood, and always be there for you.

The reality is that this simply doesn’t exist. Nobody can be everything for you all the time. The false dream of this has resulted in the fact that half of all marriages end in divorce. The marriages that last come to terms with the reality rather than living in the fantasy.

Some people choose something different. Polyamory means “many loves.” It’s not about “swinging” or cheating or “open” marriages. People in polyamorous relationships may have two, three, or more wives and husbands. This is not polygamy or forcing people into unwanted relationships. Some “poly” families live together, some do not. Some have sex with others in the family, others do not. Polyamory is about bringing more love and more people into your life. For those who can transcend the ownership concept of relationships and move to ever-expanding love, polyamory gives them that experience.

One of the key features of polyamory is deep honesty. You have to tell your partners when you are happy or unhappy, worried, concerned, jealous, or angry. Together, you can work it out. Frankly, not everyone can be this open and honest. But when you’re not hiding anger and resentment, jealousy or disappointment, you are free to flood your life with joy, happiness, and bliss.

Unfortunately, some people use “polyamory” as a term to cover their cheating ways. Real polyamory, however, is based on trust, honesty, dignity, respect, and non-possessiveness.

Donald Michael Kraig graduated from UCLA with a degree in philosophy, and has become a certified hypnotherapist and Master NLP practitioner. His book, Modern Magick, is the most popular step-by-step course in real magick ever published.

What’s ahead for your love life? Try a psychic reading. Call 1.800.573.4830 or choose your psychic now.

7 thoughts on “Polyamory & Compersion: A New Model of Happiness & Pleasure

  1. V

    This is why our kids today or so messed up . They are not taught to deal with things , life cover them up with drugs, other people . Life is more than sex. This is about sex. You have friends family , support groups, religion ,meditatiion to help cover the void in your life. People want an excuse to sleep around in marriage. I’m puzzle why get married? Just stay single uncommitted sleep with who u want. You don’t have to be holy than thou but a one on one with God helps. A spiritual connection. Sometimes a spiritual connection is missing not always a physical one

  2. Turil

    I think what you don’t realize is that the term “own” comes directly from the term “owing”. It’s a contraction! To own something it to be owing something to it. I own by body, because my body has given me life. This is a positive thing that you want. You want to be owned, because it means you have giving yourself to someone else in a way that improves their life. This is why monogamy is the most beautiful and powerful kind of relationship, it’s offering yourself fully and completely to another, in the service of them being their best possible self, because they have given you something that allows you to be your best possible self. Monogamy is finding the person who has changed your life so much for the better that you owe them your life. This is powerful, and amazing, and, yes, scary for many. And if you haven’t found that person yet, it’s totally cool to be open and superficial and noncommital to any single person. That’s how you will be able to find that person who does turn out to be the tipping point for your life, exploration is cool!

  3. Judith

    I had a 10-year relationship with a man who lived with someone. He told me that in the beginning their relationship was for convenience. He spent less money cause she picked up the other 50%. It was a business arrangement. He told me that at one time, they were “an item”, but that was over and it was cheaper and easier to just let her stay. She cooked, cleaned, did the wash, etc. He didn’t have to. They very rarely went out and did things socially. Comes to find out, she had talked him into letting her move in, “so to shut her up”, he finally broke down and said ok. Then he met me. We were lovers, friends, and I was told that “I was his confidant”. He was comfortable around me and that I made him feel good. I broke up with him several times over the 10-year period, but he always, practically crawling, came back not wanting to break up. So, it would pick up right where it left off. The last time I called it quits, (and it was the LAST time!) we reunited after four months. This LAST time it lasted 7 months. He married the woman he lived with after one month of being back with me. The reason for the break-ups, (?) I had a problem with there being another woman in his life; whatever the capacity was. He told me not to be upset because she didn’t mean anything to him. She took care of certain things, and I took care of the rest. Is that a polyamorous relationship?? If so, to hell with that!

  4. Carol Martin

    There are valid points here that I’ve learned the hard way over a lifetime. Men particulariy are just not meant to be monogynous. Sad fact but true…does not mean they love you any less, I believe in the biological imperative thing…..plant as many seeds etc…if us women were not brought up with the fairy tale and the lies maybe we wouldnt be so unhappy..all disney’s fault but for me…I’d rather have a blind eye….what I dont know wont hurt me, passion dies should we live without it for the rest of our lives…men or women…? to ponder…I see more and more younger people unwilling to commit and struggling with these issues….maybe it’s not such a bad thing to question.

  5. Jaclyn Morrison

    I appreciate this viewpoint. I suspect people content with polyamorous relationships must be above average in maturity, integrity, and intelligence. I could do this with the right combination of compatible persons. I’ve been a serial monogamist all of my adult life, but readily acknowledge that it is impossible to be all things to one person, or expect one person to satisfy every one of my needs. I’m 59 yrs young and still have much to share & experience, with anyone I choose. AND I still value, respect, and maintain a decent marriage.

  6. Rose Cocca

    i will trust my spouse…if he having a sex with another women..then that means he does not love me…he is faking it..if he cheats then my means he is not happy with me…if he loves me there is no reason to cheat…if he is happy with me to give him sex he wants then there no reason to cheat…I TRUST HIM WITH ALL MY HEART….DO YOU THINK I WILL MARRY HIM IF I THINK HE IS CHEATING….

  7. Gayle Martin

    No, this is NOT for me. Once I am in a committed relationship I expect it to be monogynous. I do not share my spouse/significant other with another woman under any circumstances. Period.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *