Mistakes Men Make in Bed

Men can make any number of mistakes in bed and it’s usually their ego that’s pushing them into certain assumptions or the avoidance of foreplay.

Avoid These Sexual Disasters, If You Can

Looking to bone up on your lover’s skills in the bedroom? Sometimes unlearning certain techniques is the way to go, so read on to improve your mojo by avoiding these sexual disasters likely to scare your lover away.

“Sex can be instantaneous, but love grows.” – Psychic Maryanne ext. 9146

Pushing Her Into Anything

“No” does mean “no,” and to keep asking, begging or pushing her to do something she’s not comfortable with will backfire no matter the outcome. Either she’ll just be pissed off and high tail it out of there, or allow you to talk her into something that she will probably later resent you for.

Attaching Her Orgasm to Your Ego

As it can be more difficult for a woman to reach orgasm during sex, you should never take her lack of peak pleasure as a personal attack on your manhood (unless she’s evil and says as much, or your bedside manner is so poor that you completely disregard her needs and body cues). Better to ask her what she likes and doesn’t like when you are intimate, and be honest about how much you want to pleasure her. If she says that it’s not you, but a temporary response to outside factors, let it go and don’t personalize it! That phrase, “It’s about the journey and not the destination.” may apply here too in her mind, so focus on the special things you two do share during your intimate moments.

Presuming She Likes it Rough

While pleasuring a man seems to be easier, quicker, and more straightforward, the consensus seems to be that satisfying a woman takes a little more finesse and technique. While men may like rougher stimulation, that’s not necessarily the woman’s preference. Changing up the pressure and angles as well as being in tune with her pleasure is the only way to go.

The Ol’ Role Over and Pass Out Routine

Okay, it’s likely that both of you are tired after a great romp, but take the extra minute or two to cuddle, kiss her, and tune into her. Sex is intimate, and even if she is just as into it as you, it doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t appreciate a little sweetness afterwards in lieu of completely tuning her out. If she has expressed or shown you that this is unimportant to her, by all means carry on. But never presume that comatose behavior after sex will make her think highly of you.

“Sex is an action of the body. Love is an action of the heart.” – Psychic Quinn ext. 5484

Forgoing the Foreplay

As women usually take a little more rev-up time, just jumping straight into the main event will most likely not win you major points (and probably leave you working twice as hard to make up for your inadequate setup efforts). Everyone knows the buildup makes it all the better in the end, so unless she’s the one racing to the finish line, don’t forget a proper warm-up!

43 thoughts on “Mistakes Men Make in Bed

  1. Lisa from Chicago

    Alina, You are definitely right about the comment with, Attaching Her Orgasm to Your Ego.
    Great article.

    Reply
  2. Midnight Maven

    I don’t care what anybody says…I love good sex…ass spanking,rough and hair pulling! The only thing I do not know how to do is giving hickies…but very good at fellatio! Lol

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  3. Mikey057

    I think foreplay is the most and sometimes the best part of a sexual encounter. Soft kisses behind the ear and at the base bottom of the neck at the hairline and lingering tender touches to the entire body can make the final event more enjoyable. Hold her hand and just non comitting closeness is the best. Let her say it’s o.k. if you go to the next step. Get her emotional and sexual trust before you attempt the physical thrust.

    Reply
  4. ROBERT PINGUE

    WOMEN and MEN, we are not mind readers and certainly not magicians. All relationships start with communication and been truthful to others will create a honest, joyous and more fulfillment in all aspect of our lives and the personal relationships we share. The PERFECT IMAGE / FALSE IMAGES AND LIES that we creates to impress others will never ever help anyone in a meaningful relationship in or out of the bedroom.
    I know it takes approximately a minute and thirty seconds or more for a woman to cool down from a orgasm. What I am trying to say here??? FOREPLAY will take more than twenty five minutes for most women. Life is not a one way street, both men and women need to communicate so we can know and understands our likes, dislikes,our erogenous and most desired pleasure zones.
    The willingness to please love ones must be more important than everything as love ones are also willing to please and be pleased. HONESTY IS SUCH A LONELY WORD.

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  5. Terry

    How about all you ladies who are complaining about how clueless your man is in bed, just woman up and tell him what you want him to do. You would be surprised how many of us are willing to follow your instruction on how to get you there. Most of us understand that all we need for the most part is a warm willing subject and we are usually good. For me however, it just feels better for me when I know that she is enjoying what I’m doing for her to reach hers, because I know mine will be easily achieved. Hell… just knowing it’s her puts me halfway there already. After our first time, she asked my why I asked her did she like that evry time I was doing something. I told her the truth. I’m trying to learn what pleases you and want you to let me know when I get it right. Don’t just tell me what you like, tell me how you like it so that I can get it right. Don’t think that i have a crystal ball that I check before sex that says “she like this and likes it this way”. I told her if you have to, talk me through it so I can get it right the first time. What works for one woman may not work for another. I dont want to sit here trying to figure you out and fail. Tell me how it’s done for you and I will do it for you every time. Well, needless to say we have great sex, never cheated on each other, and I work for the Government and have to travel on assignment, sometimes for several weeks. I never worry about her cheating because we have a great relationship with great sex. BAM!!!… that’s the icing on the cake. And some of the things she likes, I don’t think the next man will be willing to do anyway. I’m kinda freaky like that. BUT JUST FOR HER! Before her, I would have thought I would be doing some things… but she pleased me so well I had to do what she needed for the same amount of pleasure that she gave to me. OK… I’m going to stop here before I go too far into my love life. I do need to mention one more important thing. I am 48yrs old and she is 26. And like I said, I’m not worried about her cheating at all!

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  6. Pleasedforalways

    I’m a LEO,and disagree, I must be a rare find because I looooove long foreplay, and please her first, then it’s my turn.

    Reply
  7. naima

    Ladies the real key to good sex is mind stimulation seriously u have to believe ur the fucking best and u have to come into that particular situation with no inhibitions also having a almost fatal attraction between u and ur mate would be the icing on the cake not the crazy glen close fatal attraction but that I need u I want u i got to have u attraction between both parties would be great that way if the guy is bad hell be willing to learn just to keep u in his presence also check out these movies to get u and ur partner excited wild orchard the last mistress and 9 1/2 weeks hope this helps Chou

    Reply
  8. kera thompson

    well I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he still refers to sex as you know what he’s 15!! and he is kind of touchy having grown up around 2 gay dads anyone have advice? i need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  9. kera thompson

    well I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he still refers to sex as you know what he’s 15!! and he is kind of touchy having grown up around 2 gay dads anyone have advice?

    Reply
  10. LetItBe

    Ladies, don’t aspect too much from your man. Find a good dildo and both play with it, and you will be amassed of the connection you will make with him. It’s going to come the time when men are going to loose their erection from the stress and from the chemicals in our environment. Be kind to each other and have fun. 🙂

    Reply
  11. Beth

    I think men are way too concerned with a woman having an orgasm during sex so many women end up lying just to boost their man’s ego. I’ve read that only about 10-20% of women even have orgasms during sex since clitoral stimulation is usually necessary and I would be in the 80% that don’t. Women have to stop faking anything in the bedroom and be honest if they are ever going to get what they really want. And if you can’t be honest with your man you might want to consider moving on. Way too many men are insecure about this kind of stuff. Many men really are clueless about how to please a woman in the bedroom so the more women that lie to them the worse it is for women like me who finally tell them the truth. I think there is way too much porn being viewed and sex within a loving relationship should not be about having to “act” like a porn star in the bedroom. Sex should be an expression of love, not about how loud you are and doing things those “actresses” do in porn movies. I also think anal sex has become too prevalent in our society and most women I know, including myself, are simply not interested in having something shoved in and out of their anus. I have one question for the men that think this is pleasurable for women…”you have an anus too…would you like a large cucumber being shoved in and out of your anus”? If the answer is No, then why in the world would you think a woman would like it? I feel men that want to do that tend to be selfish and they are more into domination than trying to make love to their partner. I always told all the men I dated right up front if they wanted to try anal sex we would first get a cucumber or dildo about the same size they are and try it on them first. If they really like it I might consider it, but probably not (smile)! They never asked me a second time (wink)!

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  12. Mala

    I’ve finally found my Prince Charming, but I truly believe it is a Universal Tragedy that foreplay to 99.9% of the men in the world has already occurred in their mind and by time they engage in any activity with us, that portion of the encounter has finished…we’re left with the down and dirty. I’m just grateful he’s not a 2 minute wonder…I’ll take the 90 minutes of lets work it until we’re BOTH happy. SCORE!!!

    Reply
  13. Wayne From Miami

    Wow I’m surprised I’m glad I read this It’s time for me to do things the right way and stop being selfish thank you so much ladies.

    Reply
  14. Di

    I have been with my boyfriend for 13 years and he has been the best lover ever he has always put me before himself always or the same time I have no complaints what so ever in that area it’s never been a quickie it gets better every time but that’s all he’s great at because as far as knowing how to have a relationship and stepping up to the plate he is the worst and that kind of stuff is just as bad as having a man that doesn’t please you in bed and can make you want find what’s missing outside your relationship so it’s hard to find a perfect man I think I’d rather have a man that doesn’t know how because teaching can be fun and exciting but you can’t have fun trying to teach them how a relationship should be like or not be like I put up with it only cause I know he’s faithful to me but I don’t see a future with him as far as marriage but the sex is off the hook believe me I’ve had a few men before him but none of them come near being the lover he is .

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  15. kiwi

    Wat a relief ! And I believed only I thought so…all other woman had fantastic sex lives.Problem is majority men(read 99%)are so clueless about wat women like and want in bed and even out of it.The worse is that they don’t even try to make an effort to get it right!! Hey, someone tell them its ok to ask ..if they dont get the body language.
    Gr8 going

    Reply
  16. Marta Jaze

    Wow that was strait to the point but we also dont tell these men what we want and how we want it but mostly men ae just selfish and some really dont know that women also need to reach orgasm, lets hope many get the chance to read this and make some improvement soon for happier sex lives with their partners…

    Reply
  17. c.wright.thru.

    Infinite/Eternal Divine Love, Appreciation, Gratitude, Healing, and Multiple Orgasms to ALL Women.
    Please forgive us (men), and heart-felt apologies for all the ‘fuckery’, so many so-called men put you through.
    Blessing Goddesses!

    Reply
  18. Amy Fabian

    I have not had a problem in the last few years with any intercourse issues with anyone that I have opened my sexual pleasures too. I have gone to open commucation with them about everything and ask questions about what thier sexual desires and turn on’s and absolute never will try are and we have an establieshed open honest commucation and are extremaly comfortable in each others company . I can not help but wonder if everyone would persue this openness how many others would feel completly satisfied as I do ?

    Reply
  19. Cindy

    I am so blessed. I have been divorced 8 years and have been with a man that has flipped my world. I was married for 25 yrs and had no idea what I was missing..this man’s foreplay starts the minute we get together with the looks, touches, and reading my mood….we are so eager to please one another that ultimately the orgasms are intense and men out there who know exactly what they are doing. Never settle!

    Reply
  20. Diana

    I agree with all of the above, there have been a few exceptions! But none of them sadly are over here… I think women would get better attention if they were cars or utes quite frankly!! NUFF said.
    PS: Treating a woman nice outside of the bedroom also helps. Please note male of the species.

    Reply
  21. Jeannie

    I was very lucky for 13 years til about 6 months ago. the guy I was seeing did everything to make sure I was satisfied. he encouraged me to tell him or show him what I liked. and our “sessions” always lasted for hours at a time. since he left no one has been able to satisfy me.

    Reply
  22. nancy

    I think I’m the only girl in the world that lives with the man she loves and has a sexless life. I can’t remember the last time he touched me. At first I was always the one to initiate the first step, but he only wants it one way. (me on top) I became so frustrated I no longer pursue lovemaking with him. I don’t believe in cheating so I guess when I get tired of my hand It should be very easy to walk out. I already have one foot out and he doesn’t even see it.

    Reply
  23. Kathy

    After being married to a man for 28 years .who like slam jam and thank you mam. Than would say was it good you. all i wanted to say was hell no.how could it be.I finally got on who always pleases me I hope everyone find that. You said it right

    Reply
  24. Helen

    “…or your bedside manner is so poor that you completely disregard her needs and body cues” – Hah! Sounds exactly like my last b/f, with whom I just broke up (and do hope he won’t be coming back!)

    1. Missionary position is the only one he knows and accepts. He never even asked me what my fav position was. And when I suggested a different one, he said he was not comfortable, because my legs “are too long”. First time a guy complained about my legs being too long!

    2. Body cues??? Forget it! He has no idea such a thing exists, in the first place! And as to my verbal cues, such as, “Slow down,” or “Please don’t stop!” – I was not even allowed to provide them, because it “Spoiled everything.” Well, excuse me, mister, but you’re not the only one in this bed who enjoys orgasm!

    3. And time-wise… Sorry, but I normally need a lot more than 5 minutes to really enjoy sex.

    So, ladies, let us cherish and commend men who really care to make us happy in bed! :))

    Reply
  25. Anne

    Well said! I love the way you write, and your choice of words. Even the description of the article made me smile; “bone up.” LOL

    Reply
  26. Tracy

    Great article and so true. This article should be sent to all men, maybe they could have lasting relationships if they actually read this. Most men just worry about their sexual needs and don’t even care if their woman is satisfied. That is why women have affairs, to satisfy the needs that their boyfriend or spouse don’t want to satisfy. Wake up men and quit being so selfish. It can’t be all about you and the hell with her. If you truly want a good lasting relationship, take the time and care about the woman’s needs too. I promise it will make a big difference in your love life. Thank you so much for another great article.

    Reply
  27. frank payne

    I tottaly agree that women need fore play and lots of it to be part of the whole sex act. Its the only way that she will respond completelt.

    Reply
  28. livia

    You have hit the nail on the head(so to speak…lol) I would love it to be about me for a change…and reaching orgasm would be a treat tooo…hahaha. Us ladies deserve to be sent into fantastic orgasms too. It’s no longer the 50’s when the only thing that mattered was if the man got off.

    Reply
  29. SOLOMON AMONOO

    IT IS TRUE THAT MOST MEN MAKE MISTAKES WHEN MAKING LOVE TO WOMEN,THESE MEN ARE SELFISH BECAUSE THERE SHOULD BE A FORE PLAY BEFORE SEX,THAT IS TOUCHING THE RIGHT PLACES AT THE RIGHT TIME BEFORE PENETRATION,AND THERE ARE SO MANY PLACES A MAN CAN TOUCH A WOMAN TO AROUSE HER,I THINK IT A DISGRACE FOR A MAN TO REACH HIS SEXUAL PEAK BEFORE HIS PARTNER.IF IT CONTINUE LIKE THIS,IT MEANS THE MAN IS NOT CARING,A GOOD MAN WILL GIVE HIS PARTNER PROPER TENDER LOVING CARE AND THAT WILL MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP LAST FOREVER,IN SO DOING IT WILL BE DIFFICULT FOR THE WOMAN TO CHEAT ON HIM.

    Reply
  30. Angela

    Thank you so much. This was well said and put. I hope the guys and gals are listening to these great pointers. I wish I could send this too my sweetie. He is very good at what he does but he can still have improvements in the foreplay area.

    Reply
  31. john fernandes

    i dont much money i can pay cash like money order let me know how much you will carge may we can work some thing thanks god bless you peace john

    Reply
  32. amazme

    I think I live in hell. I have YET to meet a man that knows what 4-play is. If I ask for it? They look at me like they have never heard of it and go on to tell me all women they have been with are easy to please. When will women STOP faking the big “0” ?? Well, I’m in my late 40s and I guess the men my age are single because they suck in bed! These men honestly think they are good lovers, even though they are done in 2 minutes, thats from the kiss to jumping on and off. BTW, these are men that are crazy about me and want to see me often! I have no idea how these men made it to middle age and never learned anything about a womans body nor do they seem interested in exploring it. I often wonder if these men are really gay but dont know it? All I want for Christmas this year is a real man that loves a womans body!

    Reply

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