7 Ways to Magically Influence People

Connect With and Understand Others to Move Them

To influence people you must first understand how to connect with them. You must instill trust and confidence while expressing your ideas in such a way as to drive enthusiasm, hope and understanding. Influence involves expressing appreciation, interest, camaraderie, kindness, understanding, encouragement, sincerity and importance. There are a few magical shortcuts to getting what you want without all this effort. However, it is a big responsibility to become a leader among your peers, so use these seven tips cautiously.

1. Start Asking for Favors Early on

People who receive favors regularly are more likely to continue to receive them. This is because the people who are giving see themselves as building value in your relationship by investing in it. So, by calling in a small favor early on, you are increasing the possibility of getting a much bigger one down the road.

2. Reciprocate

Favors get old when they are always one-sided. Reciprocate the kindness of others by offering up your time and attention in return. The problem is, not everybody is comfortable with asking for favors. So, what do you do? You extend kindness without them asking. If their lawn looks overgrown, you cut it for them. If their sidewalk is full of snow, you shovel it. People will be more likely to see things in your favor if you’ve proven you have their best interest at heart.

The key is to make sure the recipients of your favors appreciate them. If you cut a neighbor’s rose bush, when they liked it how it was, they are not going to appreciate your efforts. You can ensure your good deeds are appreciated by taking the time to proactively get to know the people you are helping, which brings us to the third method of influence… listening.

3. Find Out What Others Need Before Making Your Own Request

In order to more easily get what you want from someone, demonstrate and understanding of what they need and how you can help get it for them.

4. Never Bring up a Problem if You Don’t Have a Solution

Some people like to be the ones to find fault in projects, relationships, etc. However, nobody likes to have a fault pointed out unless there is a viable solution to go along with it. If you are looking to make a change, don’t just point out the shortcomings. Demonstrate how your idea can improve upon the original design, and make everyone’s life better.

5. Instill Confidence, but be Prepared to Play the Part of the Underdog

There are times in life when the alpha dog gets all the rewards, and times when the beta comes out on top. The difference is that while people trust their business with someone with a proven track record, they offer their sympathy to those they think could use a break. When your request has more to do with getting help than proving your qualifications, you will get farther by downplaying your strengths and unveiling how your weaknesses can be aided with the other person’s help.

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6. Dress to Fit the Occasion

“Dress for success” is an overused saying. However, there is a very important point that can be drawn from it. Dressing to look more professional than those you are pitching to is not always the best idea. Studies show that dressing the part of a professional can instill confidence when you have already established a leadership role. However, when you are unknown, you may actually have more influence over others if you match the dress code of those in your audience.

7. Use Hand Gestures to Appeal to Your Listener

Persuasive people may use their hand gestures to signify strength and courage. However, any gesture that appears aggressive (fist, pointed finger, etc.), may actually count against you when appealing for help. The universally preferred hand gesture to instill camaraderie is an open palm (knuckles down, fingers extended). This is the universal sign of understanding, friendship, and humility.

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People will be more likely to see you as an ally when you incorporate this gesture with any request. Also keep in mind that touch, is also very influential. People are more likely to comply with any request, provided you initiate contact with a non-sexual touch to their arm or shoulder.

Influence does not always have to mean getting what you want. It can also help others find success through your own karma.

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4 thoughts on “7 Ways to Magically Influence People

  1. Redhead

    In response to MarieaGrace: Yes, Capricorns are known to be grudge holders. As a fellow Cap, I can tell you that we are very complex with emotions that reach the depths of the ocean. Hence the whole Sea Goat concept. Seems that you may not be well suited to each other, or
    he is alienating you. I would encourage you to move on if you haven’t already. You deserve to be happy!

    Reply
  2. MarieaGrace

    hi I was wondering if you knew if Capricorns stay mad even though they say they do care? It has been two days since I herd from him and he did not keep up with our relationship very well,he didn’t always call me like I wish he had and he wanted a long distance relationship I didn’t but he said it does work out.I guess I got suspicious when he didn’t call an d only talked a few minutes when he did. I felt left out and he wanted me to move there but I can’t do that if I don’t know what I am moving into right?I wrote him and did give him hell when I saw his picture on a dating site he said he was on that site for years but the pictures he had there were the same ones he had just sent to me of him??Would that make you wonder? I also told him he was not a Christian and this ticked him off. Later the next day I apologized but I have herd nothing from him since.Are Capricorns to be trusted he is very visual and sensual when he mentioned thongs at the beaches and told me he was going to visit his mother and they wore things on the beaches this ticked me off!! Who in the wrong here? What should I do? I have been to dating sites also that is how we met and if he does not get back in touch I am lining myself up with other people that show allot more interest. What do you think?

    Reply
  3. Nora -5891

    Eric,
    Right on, especially number 4. I found that as an HR I approach my boss with a problem I also have the recommended solutions (usually I have at least two). The “boss” has so much thrown at her throughout the day, its a relief to have someone who has an idea about what can be done. You may discover that the boss will associate you as the problem-solver and not the problem!

    Reply

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