Loving Yourself is More Important than Being Loved

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It is really quite sad when you stop to think about the number of wonderful people in this world who are loved by so many, yet have such a difficult time loving themselves. You might even be one of them. So, if you think that loving yourself is not as important as the love you earn from others, here are six reasons that just might change your mind.

You will find greater happiness in making others happy, there is no denying that. However, that is not to be confused with loving others more than you love yourself. In other words, putting someone else’s priorities so far in front of your own can also be a sign of either an absurdly unbalanced relationship or being knee-deep in conflict avoidance. You’ve probably heard this before, but it is worth saying again: Your happiness is mostly dependent on you being happy with yourself.

Research suggests that being loved can promote better health. But good health also relies on its owner to pay attention to his or her needs. Do you think it is possible to gain good health without having the motivation to earn it? And where does our greatest motivation come from—love, perhaps? They say that you have to give love to earn it in return, and this is also the case with your health. Give your body plenty of love and attention and it will reward you with years of health and happiness.

It’s possible to love someone so much that you feel you just can’t live without them, but at the same time recognize that living with them would also be the end to your freedom, values, dreams and security. And you could go on and on in this relationship feeling the way you do, or you could love yourself just a little more than you love the other person and free yourself from living a life that you were never meant to. Sometimes the toughest thing about love is learning that the person least likely to give it to you is yourself.

Some people spend a lot of time focusing on the dreams of the ones they love, so these people will love them for the sacrifice they’ve made. But people rarely love other people for these kind of sacrifices. It is actually better to foster your own interests, so that you can inspire others through example. It is next to impossible to inspire others without finding inspiration in your own life. This is because some of the things we most admire about the people we love is the knowledge they can share and the curiosity they elicit. Inspiration isn’t given near as often as it is taught. People talk a lot about sacrificing for the ones they love, but giving up your dreams is just not one of those things.

Doing what other people want can make you feel loved and accepted. This feeling is such a powerful force that it isn’t uncommon to spend nearly 70 percent of your life doing things to make other people happy. And why not? The paved road is safe, smooth and kind. The only problem is that you are walking someone else’s dream; living someone else’s life. One of the most important reasons to lose sight of these paths is to experience the fear and apprehension that goes along with it; to make your own decisions, experience your own failures—until you realize that it really isn’t all that bad to fail or be rejected. It isn’t until you no longer fear rejection that you can experience the freedom to be yourself and to love yourself for who you are.

Most negative critics are spawned through your own invitation. Every time you talk negatively about yourself, you invite others to follow suit and these negative thoughts eventually come true. However, if you offer yourself the same compassion that has allowed countless numbers of struggling people to stop their addictions, face their fears and discover their value in life, there is no limit to what you can accomplish. Love yourself, practice self-compassion, and be gentle with your internal commentary. We all need positive, compassionate influences to become the independent, healthy, successful and inspired spirits we deserve to be—and you should be your own greatest fan!

6 thoughts on “Loving Yourself is More Important than Being Loved

  1. Bruce Jones

    I have walked this beaten path, know it well,,,,many circumstances of overcoming the obstacles in life is finding yourself,,,as for me,, a car accident,, changed everything about me,, made me question everything and changed me,,,,to finally revealing who I was…and am,,,,My thoughts are that once you can pass the threshold of you own life,,,then you can proceed in finding a more fulfilling life…with all the twist and turns of living with a better understanding on how to live….and only then you can hopeful find someone that is willing to share their life with you,,,openly……..thanks for listening—-Bruce

  2. Karin

    I have recently split with the man of my dreams. I am utterly lost. I burst into sobbing when I least ecpect it. I feel like my chest is hollow and I ache. I know that it will never be. I can’t seem to kick into self again. Any advice for someone who has really no close friends. I feel like what is left forvme. I’m older. I’m just a shell

    1. John

      Don’t worry it will pass, I was in your shoes two years ago, my wife left me and took my kids with her, sold my house took my saving account. I was 49 years old with bad knees and my work requires a lot of climbing poles. I was feeling the ache in my chest every day, feeling depressed, losing my hair, and my teeth. It was the worst feeling of my life. But as time passes you get use to it. I knew it was getting better one day. So I did not give up, now I still get hit by those memories, but I push it away. I implanted new teeth and start going to gym and promised my self that no one is going to take me down. I just got engaged with a beautiful girl just last week. My life is just getting back to normal.
      So don’t give up. Fight it until you get success. After all this life is just test.

    2. Carol

      Dear Karin,

      I am sorry that you have such a hard time, just try to learn something from this. Maybe that you should love yourself more?! And look for the meaning of your life?! Find out who you are?!
      To be in a relationship is so nice but actually often stops you from exploring yourself. You are concentrated more to please your mate than to find yourself.
      I dont know if this what you need right now, just know you are not alone

  3. Grace

    Very true! Self_ love has taught me to stop seeking validation from others especially people I care and love. The happiness I experience now is genuine and deep and not dependent on others. I learned to stop waiting for someone’s attention which led me to get better sleep! Thanks for the great article! More power!


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