Are You in Love With an Introvert?

In Love With an Introvert

Decoding Your Introvert

Do you feel like you and your partner can’t get on the same page socially? They’re a homebody. You like to go out most nights. They have a few close friends. You’re a social butterfly. They like to read books. You like to go to clubs. Maybe they seem shy and quiet to you and you’re wondering what it will take to get them out of their shell. Well perhaps they aren’t “just shy.” Maybe they’re an introvert.

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Introverts feel energized when they’re alone and drained when they’re surrounded by other people. They’re more concerned with the inner workings of the mind and you might catch them lost in thought from time to time. They enjoy exploring their thoughts and feelings and are less attuned to the outside world. So how do you love this deep, introspective creature? Here are six things you need to know about the introvert in your life:

They Hate Small Talk

Introverts care little for the latest celebrity gossip, what happened on your favorite reality television show, or the mundane happenings of your day at the office. They probably won’t share the nitty-gritty of their day either. So what is there to talk about? If you want to engage an introvert in conversation, talk about ideas and concepts rather than trivial matters. Introverts love a good intellectual conversation.

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Social Situations Drain Them

How do you feel in a room full of people at a party? Do you love it when the music is loud and the dance floor is crowded? Maybe the noise and the volume and the sweat get you excited, but for your introverted partner, this experience can be draining. Even in a room filled with people they know and consider friends, introverts are drained by other people’s energy. They may get anxious, impatient and want to leave before the party’s over. If you aren’t willing to give up your social life for your introvert, consider attending parties alone or with other social friends. Your introvert will appreciate the time apart. Or, host a small party with a few close friends so your introvert feels more comfortable.

They Need to Recharge Alone

Introverts need to recharge after being out in the world with other people’s energy and they prefer to do it alone. Whether it’s some quiet time with a good book, journaling, or taking a walk in nature, it’s best to respect your introvert’s desire for “me time” and realize that they’re not rejecting you. Let them take as much time as they need and don’t be offended if they prefer to be alone with their thoughts instead of spending some quality time with you. Soon, they’ll seek out your company, so find ways to occupy your time until then.

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They Choose Their Friends and Lovers Carefully

As I mentioned before, introverts aren’t social butterflies. In fact, they tend to have a really small circle of close friends who share similar interests and may also be introverted. And when it comes to lovers, introverts are also very picky. They’re likely to pick someone kind, understanding and independent. Not just anyone catches their eye, so if you have the love of an introvert, you have a very special love indeed.

They Don’t Like Invasive or Intrusive Questions

Introverts appear closed off at first glance and don’t like invasive or intrusive questions. In the beginning, it may seem like any question feels invasive or intrusive to an introvert, but the truth is they just don’t know you well enough to open up. So don’t bombard an introvert with a million questions that add up to their life story upon first meeting them. You’ll get very little out of them. Instead, don’t make them the focus of your conversation and give them openings to interject when and if they feel like it.

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They Like to Set the Pace for Intimacy

Introverts are not comfortable with grand, affectionate gestures from people they don’t know very well. This is true whether you are a friend or a  lover. They may not be huggers or even hand shakers, so let them set the pace for any kind of intimacy and don’t get offended if they don’t initiate or accept personal contact. They need to warm up to you at their own pace and if you try to speed that along they’ll feel smothered.

Loving an introvert can be challenging unless you have a basic understanding of how they think and feel. But once you have that knowledge, you’ll appreciate them for who they are and won’t want to change them one bit.

10 thoughts on “Are You in Love With an Introvert?

  1. Marc from the UK

    I agree with the Introverts in many ways! Funny really that I also sit back and listen to the extroverts hogging the limelight and getting all the attention, sometimes I wished I had that power, then I have also learned that the most thoughtful and caring amongst us are indeed listeners and introverts as we are interested in others and not hogging the limelight!

    Reply
  2. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Also, speaking personally now for myself, and not for other introverts, being an introvert has benefited me , thru the years , during my career as a professional psychic. I have great focus, which helps me to meditate and quiet my mind, and I find reading for clients fascinating.

    In fact, reading for 50 years, I’m STILL fascinated when I read for people. What makes each client so different and unique…..what motivates and drives each client….what their life experiences are….what their Karmic path is….what their very unique Karmic gifts are …what their goals are….

    I log in to do readings each night with a sense of adventure….who will I meet tonight ? What interesting soul and mind will I read ???? It’s like turning on the TV set to view a newly released movie or reading a new book each night that has never been published.
    And for regular clients it’s just as fascinating to me , as I help them on their own individual
    journey.

    Just a thought, I thought I would share.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  3. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Well, L, it would be a very boring world if everybody were the same….yes ????

    Diversity and individuality is what makes us humans so interesting and unique.

    It’s usually the introverted types that are labeled and put down by others….I remember being called a ” bookworm ” and a ” geek ” in grade school and in high school.

    Introverts generally possess high IQ’s, ( although I’ve met many extroverts thru Mensa ), and generally excel in their grades in school.

    Better to try to understand what drives and motivates people, and children, of ALL types to create harmony and peace among us all. The world would certainly be a better place to live in as a result.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  4. Psychic Fiona #5178

    Enjoyed the article. Most intuitives seem to be more introverted than not. We require our space, our alone time to commune with the Silence. It’s how we reboot when tired, gain insight, and “know.” In any situation, the truth of the matter is all around us. The cosmos talks to us constantly but we must be receptive and still from within to hear It.

    Einstein once said, “Everyone wants to be heard, but how many of us really want to listen.”

    Reply
  5. Maureen

    Very helpful–thank you. My husband is an introvert, and it can be very baffling sometimes. He just doesn’t talk, doesn’t express himself at all–I mean at all. He is perfectly content to be with himself. I don’t really know why he married me. I don’t know what he wants in the marriage. He wasn’t introverted when we were first dating. On the contrary, he was very charming and outgoing. So I can’t really understand what has happened. Any insight back would be appreciated.

    Reply
  6. Dena

    I agree with all said because I know I’m an introvert too. I don’t mind family parties, but being around a ton of ones I don’t know just drains me. I couldn’t even handle dancing at my cousin’s wedding last year.
    I have more fun being on the computer and watching TV vs. going out in public too much. I love my home more.

    Reply
  7. DloTheMartian

    I agree with most of these points, I consider myself an introvert, but I have to be a social person in my career, and well in public in general. Many times I prefer to go out with a large group so I can sit in the corner and read on my cell phone. When I get the occassional what’s up, how come you’re not talking I just say something like, “Oh, I don’t have any thing to add to the conversation those were all great points.” or “I’m chilling, no reason to ruin it.” or my favorite I just sneak out the door when no one is looking and text someone from the party to let them know I made it home safely. I don’t have an issue with be outspoken I just don’t care to do it when I’m not getting paid to be that guy.

    Reply
  8. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Dania,

    This article is right on the money !!! I know because I am a true introvert in every way, shape and form. I would NEVER be around anybody who could not or would not respect my need for space and alone time. ( which is probably why I live on a remote, rural, mountain top all alone…and LOVE it ! )

    This is one of the few articles written about introverts, that I’ve read, that is true and seems to understand the inner workings of a true introvert.

    Great job !

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  9. psychic readings

    Many introverts are perfectly happy with a close, small group of friends. It can be overwhelming to keep up with a lot of friends because introverts feel like they need to really know all of them. So, they may prefer to have a select group of really close friends they can get to know on a deeper level.

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