My Gay Lover is Always Flirting

When a man flirts with another man, it can feel pretty insulting to his partner. But are his intentions really to hurt you or are they more about him? Even if he does always flirt, is it harmful to your relationship? Does he go home with another man at the end of the night or is he true to you?

I Can’t Stand It! Why Am I Not Enough?

A while back, I wrote a blog post for women about men. One commenter asked, why not articles for men? So this article is for men dating men who always flirt.

Men love feeling attractive to other men. I’ve found this is especially true for men who waited until later in life to come out of the closet. They didn’t get the chance to have normal adolescent dating experiences because they felt forced to date women when their interests were elsewhere.

The men I’ve know who came out did so in their early twenties, but I hear now, teens are coming out earlier and earlier. However, most of my callers are men in my age group or older dating men like them who didn’t reveal their true sexual sides until after their high school years.

People are people. Man, woman, it doesn’t matter too much when it comes to flirts. Some people just love to feel wanted. But for the men who held back through the most hormone-driven years of their lives, they may now feel the urge to show their qualities to lots of others. Get personalized advice, contact a psychic today!

It would make anyone in a relationship crazy, especially if you’re not the flirty type. Ironically, that may be why he’s attracted to you. He trusts you not to toy with other men. But then, why does he?

And I bet you’ve tried to get him jealous in return, charming other men with your qualities, striking up deep, involved and personal conversations, peeking over your shoulder to see if he’s watching. He isn’t. Darn. He doesn’t seem to care one bit.

Ask yourself: Who does he go home with each time you’re out and about and he’s doing all those flirtatious things which drew you to him in the first place? He goes home with you. Just you. Not the guy whose biceps he couldn’t quit batting, not the one with the fast, fancy car. You. Soooooo… Why does he insist on doing this?

He wants to feel confident that he’s attractive. No, you haven’t done a thing to make him feel unattractive. He’s just insecure, wanting others to boost his self-esteem for only a night, or even an hour.

In the beginning of this post, I mentioned men who come out late. All through their teen years they never felt attractive because, sure, perhaps girls liked them, and they may have sensed other gay men around them, but they kept their sexuality a secret. Maybe your man never had the “young love” feeling: passing notes with his crush, three-hour-long phone calls and blushing every time he had a conversation with someone he was attracted to. Now, he’s making up for that lost time by flirting, and when another man responds positively to your man’s flirting, your man feels good about himself. So good in fact, that he doesn’t care at all if you’re making eyes at someone else.

He knows you, too, will go home with him.

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Want to know if it’s just harmless flirting or more? Ask one of our psychics. Call 1.800.573.4830 or choose your psychic now.

13 thoughts on “My Gay Lover is Always Flirting

  1. Marc from the UK

    Hello Gina, nice to hear from you, thanks for the endorsment! It still makes me giggle to this day, but the best thing about it is, I detatched myself from what could of been a negative relationship which was draining to say the least!!

  2. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Oh wow, that’s awful, Marc. Must have made you feel like dookie. Glad you stood up for yourself. She sounds selfish.

  3. Marc from the UK

    I remember recently courting a Gemini LADY! and as she was angry for me being late to get to a summer Ball, although I apologised profusely and complimented her and made her feel special, she spent the night ignoring me, being childish and flirting in an outraging manner all evening! I thought that all though we made it to the Ball in time and were in the company of good friends, that i did not have to put up with this, I asked her if she rather I left for the evening, she said no, she was escorted by two ladies away from there partners as she was flirting with them! I knew my friends were no to pleased but maintained the status quo, I said to them that I have had a fantastic evening, there company was great but I was worth more than that and the way I was being treated. I asked for there permission to leave, they said it was OK I did not stay to say good bye or god night to the lady in question I simply got a taxi and went home, feeling that I maintained my dignity and manners, I must admit I did giggle on the way home knowing that particulars ladies reaction would of been interesting to say the least!! When she eventually broached the subject ( a month later!) after no contact, i explained you have eery right to be who you want to be, i have no right to force change, but I do have a right to accept or not accept how your behaviour affects me! I chose to not accept it and pursue keeping happy!

  4. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Hi Gina Rose,

    Great point. I know some who don’t mind the flirting, and some it drives crazy. And if crazy is the effect, then certainly it is disrespectful. Communication on this is important and I hope the partners who are upset by this behavior find a good way to express themselves it’s hurting them.

  5. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Hi Helen,

    Flirting is fun! And you do go home with her, that’s great. I’d advise to give her a big ole smack on the lips in between flirting sessions so all around you know who it is you go home with! And it will boost her self-esteem.

  6. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Hi Paris,

    Flirting with other people’s partners can be seen as safe to the flirting one. I’d guess that’s why your partner is doing it this way.

  7. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Hi Karen,

    I’m sorry you had to deal with that. If you read above where Gina Rose wrote her comment, I bet you can relate. It is self-centered behavior. I hope you are with someone now who you feel more confident with.

  8. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    nice article,… but……it doesn’t mention the lack of respect that one partner shows to their significant other in flirting in front of them.

    Behavior like that is disrespectful and hurtful sometimes to their partner. This applies to both gay and straight relationships both.
    If one is flirting and knows it is hurtful to their partner , but still continues to do it, it seems a bit narcissistic to me to continue to hurt your partner.

  9. Helen

    This goes for women too!

    I happen to be the guilty party and I have been wondering why I do this when I would not EVER go home with anyone but my partner. I love her truely as she really is the one I have wanted all of my 54 years.

    My partner is not the flirty type at all and I normally am not but that was until I came out. I came out about 4 years ago, after 30 years of being married to a man. I loved him too, but could never get marriage right. It was something that I thought was a mind over matter thing and that I could will myself heterosexual. HAH! The only reason I came out was because I was ready to kill myself after my children graduated from high school and I finally gave in and come out, rather than blow my brains out.

    So, I am everything this article talks about. I have been very blessed in so many ways and yet I long to prove to myself that I am an attractive woman to other women, even though I have the best person in the world waiting to come into her arms. Self esteem is everything and mine is very negative. That is the major thing I have left to fix in me. I wonder if I will ever manage to love myself?

  10. Karen

    Well, this came to late for me. I had a great relationship with a great man…he is a big flirt. And I thought I wasn’t enough or good enough fro him. We have since broke up over this. I’ll remember this, though, it does make sense.


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