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Matthew Hussey is UK’s leading Life Strategist and creator of Get the Guy, gettheguy.co.uk. His rise to success as a speaker and a coach has been meteoric, from packed seminar rooms in London to New York to appearances on CNN, GMTV, The Today Show for America and NBC. Get The Guy is the best way to kick start your love life. Matthew’s proven methods show women the strategies they can employ right now to take control of their love lives, instead of sitting back and hoping that it all “sorts itself out eventually.” Check out this special offer and learnspecific mistakes that women make that kill attraction:Get the Guy: Three Deadliest Mistakes Women Make.Click hereto learn more.
Draw Him In
Why do women get so much more attention from the guys that they’re not attracted to, as opposed to the guys that they’re dying to speak with? I know you’ve been there—standing at a bar with a couple of OK guys vying for your attention, whilst the person you really want to talk to doesn’t even give you a second glance.
This is a huge issue for both men and women, and as I’m sure you’ll already know from experience, the reason this happens is obvious: we’re not able to be our best selves around the people that we’re extremely attracted to.
In fact, let me paint a picture of what often happens in this kind of situation…
The guy you like comes over and immediately it’s as if someone has flicked a switch inside of you that completely shuts down your personality.
Every bit of charm goes out of the window, every ounce of intelligence suddenly dissipates, and you’re left with this awkward, never-ending hesitation.
And how different is this to when you’re relaxed and around your friends and family?
“If only the guy could see me then!” you might be saying to yourself.
If you don’t know how to get over this and be your very best self with people you’re attracted to, it will continue to stop you interacting with them, even if you know every other trick in the book.
So how can you be your best self around someone you’re attracted to?
Allow me to bring in a new perspective for just a moment.
I want you to imagine for a second that you’re about to go into a job interview. This isn’t just any old job interview, however; this is for your absolute dream job, and you’ve made it all of the way to the last round of interviews where it’s just you and one other candidate remaining.
Stakes are pretty high, right?
Everything is riding on this one interview, and this could be the last time you’re even able to apply for this particular job.
I want you to stop and think about how you would actually feel going into this interview.
It’s obvious, isn’t it? Why do I even have to ask?
You’d have butterflies racing around your stomach, your palms would be sweating, and you would feel incredibly nervous and anxious as you sat in the waiting room.
This might sound like a stupid question, but why? Why would you feel so nervous?
You would feel nervous because all your life you’ve known that this is your dream job, and this could be your one shot at actually getting it. You’ve invested this huge amount of time and energy in creating this opportunity, and ultimately, your future hinges on how well you come across.
Not only that, but it’s an interview!
So it’s pretty evident why we get nervous, and there are many different factors at play.
But let’s turn our attention to a guy you’re attracted, and ask the same question. Why do you feel so nervous talking to him?
It’s a little more difficult to come up with good reasons for this.
You like his shoes?
You see you can’t have the same solid reasons for feeling nervous with a guy that we’ve just met because we don’t know anything about him.
But women tend to make so many assumptions about a guy that by the time they’re actually talking to them, they have the belief in their heads that “this could be my Mr. Right!”
You can convince yourself that he’s smart, generous, loving… and after only a few minutes, you’ll have built up this incredible expectation of who he is—and it’s because of this that you get so nervous and can’t be yourself around a guy.
This is a habit that we need to eliminate immediately, and replace with the realization that there are thousands of guys out there that you will be attracted to on first impressions; literally thousands.
There is no shortage of guys that you will be physically attracted to, but only a very small percentage of these guys will be compatible with you; only a fraction will have the same values and beliefs that are essential for having a committed relationship with you.
Remember, we’re all fussy when it comes to this area!
So the key to this is to start appreciating all of the other things that you need in a guy. This is where you get your power back, and as you realize that physical attractiveness is just ticking one of many boxes, you will be able to be your best self and lose those nerves around the guy that you like.