Do You Love the One You’re With?

You know you’re in love because you say it every day. You do in-love things together and make in-love plans. You probably spend a lot of energy making sure your partner is in love with you. But how do you really know?

A loving relationship is a beautiful thing – when it’s forged for the right reasons. Unfortunately, it’s all too often that months or years go by before we realize we’ve been hanging on to something that wasn’t what it appeared to be. Don’t reduce love to a habit. Ask yourself a few fundamental questions to see if those three little words still ring true.

1. Is there fun in the ordinary?
When the marathon of hot nights and candlelit dinners is a thing of the past, will you still dig the present? Don’t be fooled by fleeting thrills. It’s important that she’s as exciting curled up on the couch as she is ripping it up on the dancefloor…because when 50 is behind you, you’ll be looking at some very different moves. It may take two to tango, but it takes the right two to make a strong finish.

The test is in the little moments. Anyone can get swept away on a weekend retreat. When you have a blast laughing over burnt breakfast, you know you’re onto something good.

2. Forget love. Are you in like?
Sure, you enjoy the usual sweetheart perks: companionship, compliments, sex. But do you really like your partner? It might seem like a given, but many a wayward romantic gets lost in a romance with someone who doesn’t have those basic qualities she respects. Ask yourself: would your assessment of your other half impress his friends? Could it land her a job? When you’re in like, you respect your partner’s integrity, admire his choices and in important ways, want to be more like him. With as much time as the two of you are likely to spend together, your partner is going to rub off on you. Make sure he rubs you the right way.

3. Does your mate bring out the best in you?
If you can be yourself around your love, and you truly enjoy the experience, you’re probably onto something real. According to Dr. Steven, Head of the Department of Psychology at the Open University in the UK, being in love has a lot to do with what it does to us: “It’s when we’re in love, when we feel desired that we really begin to feel excited… engaged with living. The great potential of love is that it enables us to try to overcome our existential aloneness, to try to connect fully with another human being.”

If you’re spending your time trying to please your lover, or worse, to earn their love, you may be missing the point. Sure, relationships are work, and it’s important (and pleasurable!) to try and make our partners happy, but there’s a fairly uncompromising bottom line: your relationship should enrich your life.

The truly gratifying part of the act of love is not just how much you like your partner; it’s how much you like who you are when you’re together. If you can be happy, be inspired and be yourself, you’re probably on the right track. Love may make you say and do a lot of crazy things, but true love makes you love being you.

Are you really in love? Find out when it’s in the cosmos by speaking with one of our gifted psychics. Call 1.800.573.4830 or click here now.

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