Change Your (Subconscious) Definition of Love

Subconscious Definition of Love

Love Differently and Meet Your Soulmate!

Do you attract the wrong people, find it difficult to maintain a good relationship, or self-sabotage the relationship each time? Have you met someone and felt they were “the one,” yet it hasn’t worked out? Do you worry about being alone for the rest of your life? Are you ready to get clear on what you want, bring in the kind of relationship you deserve, and move on from those old patterns? When it comes to relationships, we attract partners based on our definition of what love is.

Redefine your relationship with help from Psychic Sterling ext. 6326!

How Your Definition of Love Formed

Your definition of love was created by your early experiences with parents or caretakers—their relationships with each other and with you. Whether you experienced trauma and discord or love and harmony, your definition of love was subconsciously being formed during childhood. All your unconscious beliefs and emotional patterns stem from this.

You’re a Vibrational, Summoning Beacon

Every person is literally a vibrational, summoning beacon. They continually send information out into life, attracting or repelling other vibrational beings, events and experiences. Each of us has a  frequency and we use that to attract our match. Each relationship mirrors what is going on with us and it brings us closer to who we really are. The people we attract are physical manifestations of where we are, vibrationally. That means we attract people into our lives based on what we are feeling and from the thoughts we most often think.

My Father

My father was a Chief Petty Officer in the Navy. He was deployed away from our family for six months at a time, on a battleship or a shoreline station. He didn’t want to be away—he loved us, he missed us, and he wanted to be home. During the early years of my life, we moved several times. I attended first grade in three schools that year, in two different states. Eventually my dad was assigned to a permanent position and we settled in one place. He was gone on base during the week and home on weekends.

A Back-and-Forth Pattern of Longing

As a child, what I knew and understood was that my dad was gone, home, gone again, and then back. My mother was essentially a single mom when he was away. My definition of love became a back-and-forth pattern of longing. I had a foundation of deep caring and love, but it came in and went out. It was stable and dependable, but not really.

Falling for the Wrong Ones

In relationships, I fell for the ones who didn’t commit, were in and out of my life, or who didn’t make me a priority. Even though I didn’t consciously want this, subconsciously, I was attracting my definition of what love was for me—the longing for love and connection. I was shocked to discover it was me with commitment and closeness issues! In my relationships with healthy men, I felt overwhelmed and not knowing why, I’d find a way to sabotage the relationship, cause a fight so I could have breathing room, or break up. My pattern: I was either on the run or the man was, so my love pattern could continue.

Unwinding Deep Patterns

How did I unwind deep patterns and insecurities, redefine my definition of what love is, and make substantial strides in healing? I found a counselor and mentor who was also a hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Progamming) and Reiki expert. I joined a study group for the book “Calling in The One: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life” by Katherine Woodward Thomas. This workbook can also be used alone or working together with a friend. I knew my “life partner soul mate” was trying to come in. While in this class, I met my husband!

Magical Things Can Happen

As we identify what needs to change and create these changes, magical things begin to happen in our lives. The people, situations, and experiences we attract show up differently! We continue to have work to do, challenges to move through, and changes to adjust to along our journey, but the difference is our “life partner soul mate” shows up and walks along side of us as we continue to grow.

Psychic Sterling ext. 6326

24 thoughts on “Change Your (Subconscious) Definition of Love

  1. Sterling x6326

    Denise May 23, 2015 at 7:26 pm

    I highly recommend getting the book “Calling In The One.” It can be life transforming for you.
    All the best to you.

    Reply
  2. denise

    I have the type of personality that makes people spill their guts to. I have decided that I will no longer feel sorry for men who do this. Some of them are married too. If I have to assert myself to keep the broken men away I will. I also grew up around people who did not express love or show any emotion.

    Reply
  3. Sterling 6326

    amanda April 25, 2015 at 4:00 am

    I am getting he has unresolved emotional issues and has cut off from you to avoid dealing with these inner blocks within himself. It is not fair to you nor is it okay, it is just the best way he knows how to deal with uncomfortable triggers and the emotional discord he is feeling.
    I suggest you read the book “The Five Love languages,” by Dr. Gary Chapman. The information in his book has helped countless people, and their marriages/relationships. It will help you in dealing with the current circumstances and a lot more.

    Another suggestion is to find an MFT you like to help you with the understanding you need and deserve, and support you in dealing with the frustration in your marriage and your husband’s behavior.

    I can help you further with a private reading if you would like more clarification and my personal support.

    Reply
  4. Sterling 6326

    Daddy’s girl April 25, 2015 at 4:35 am

    Thank you for your blog response. You are handling this well with a time boundary cut off for him to step up and be present in your relationship with a commitment, and in realizing where he is continuing the drama in his life. If you feel you need more insight or support please do contact me for a private reading.

    Reply
  5. Daddy's girl

    I’ve been dating a guy since last summer who hasn’t opened to a serious relationship. He’s still bitter about his divorce, and has an ex-girlfriend who wants him back and has been making matters confusing for us. I think he needs to move near me and get away from those women. He’s distanced himself from me now because a stressful situation at home made him realize that he needs to change his life. He’s really a sweetheart and I hope he’ll make the decision to move forward with me, but I think I’m only going to give him another month to decide before I move on. Thanks for these tips, and I especially like the paragraph about being a vibrational, summoning beacon.

    Reply
  6. amanda

    My husband says I’m trying to hard and that it’s pushing him away. He says he doesn’t like coming home from work anymore and he never gets that I miss my wife feeling anymore. It’s almost like he has kicked me out of his life. The thing that gets me the most is when he is home I’m almost always having to focus on our 3 year old daughter and we hardly ever just hang out in the same room anymore. When my daughter goes to bed I start the cleaning and the laundry and everything else that needs to be done. He works on his truck outside til the wee hours of the morning. How can I be trying to hard and pushing him away when I don’t even get the chance to be around him long enough to smother him in the first place. Do you think he is using this as an excuse because he has found someone he’d rather be with than me? Has my marriage come to an end? I’ve always looked for the validation of others because I never got it from my parents but I don’t do that with my husband because I am scared of pushing him away. Now it sounds like that’s exactly what I ended up doing. I’m so confused.

    Reply
  7. Sterling 6326

    linda April 23, 2015 at 5:44 pm

    Yes, becoming our own first priority is almost always just outside our comfort zone, however, definitely doable and necessary. It is the same as having to put on the oxygen mask first in an airplane before you can help your child or anyone else.

    You do have a wonderful love awaiting to come into your life. Get the book I recommended as you are stepping into a time of transition to reforming your definition of what love represents to you.
    You need the proper tools to help you achieve this in a timely manner.
    I am here for you if you would like further clarification in a private reading.

    Reply
  8. Sterling 6326

    belle April 23, 2015 at 7:44 pm

    Your parents and personal Angels are very much around you and in support of you having a happy, lasting love relationship. There are changes to be made in what your personal definition of love represents to you. You will receive a world full of help with the book I recommended in my article. I am here for you and can help further if you wish to have a private reading.
    Blessings to you, Belle.

    Reply
  9. Sterling 6326

    bonnie April 23, 2015 at 7:52 pm
    I do see your “someone special” coming in for you. It is someone new. I can help you more in a private reading.

    Reply
  10. Sterling 6326

    JIm Beccue April 24, 2015 at 8:58 am
    I can help you further with a private reading and/or get the book I recommended. It also helps in all areas of life. I see profound changes coming in for you.

    Reply
  11. Sterling 6326

    akisi April 24, 2015 at 1:27 am

    I am getting there is fear and feeling worthy in relation to being with your soul mate life partner. I can help you more in a private reading. Meanwhile, I suggest getting the book I recommended in my article and finding an NLP Master practitioner to help you break free of underlying fear connected with commitment and feelings of being enough.
    I healed from my own deeply rooted, core issues and so can you.

    Reply
  12. Sterling 6326

    Christy Owens April 24, 2015 at 5:09 am
    I feel you are in the right place to move forward on changing what your definition of what love is for you, in order to attract in and meet your soul mate life partner. I highly recommend getting the book in my article.

    Reply
  13. Sterling 6326

    “L” April 23, 2015 at 6:54 pm
    Thank you for bringing up this very important point.
    Regardless of the method of meeting the right person (soul mate life partner, aka the one, etc. )for long term love, either in person or through technology and online availability, it all comes down to the vibration a person is in and what their unconscious “definition of what love is for them” is.
    This defines what a person is attracting in, what a person is attracted to and actually recognizes and sees. Everything has a frequency and a vibration. This is a physical scientific fact as well as being a spiritual and energetic frequency.
    So, the manner in which a person meets their soul mate life partner is second to the vibrational frequency they are sending out.

    Reply
  14. Debbie Esterline

    I loved reading this article. Thank you, Psychic Sterling, for sharing your insight. I so agreee with what you said in this article, and I can identify with much of what you mentioned.

    Reply
  15. Psychic Fiona #5178

    This is one of the best articles on love and attracting the right one that I believe I’ve ever read. Thank you Sterling. What a blessing you are to the callers at CP.
    Excellent. Excellent.

    Reply
  16. akisi

    why am I attracted to married men. I’m a widow at 64 wanting a companion but always married men are on the way.

    Reply
  17. bonnie

    Will I find Love Soon when and with who, I would like to know would it be someone I know or someone new. I would like to keep my eyes open for this person.

    Reply
  18. belle

    Yes we all fall for the wrong one . Only from a time that we think it is the right man. Until later in our life. My Dad, never came as close to me as I wanted. He loved me but wanted my Mom to be in control as most of the time.
    Now both parents have passed. I am later in my years .
    My Son is grown, his Dad just passed a short time ago. We were divorced, for many years.
    I remarried a few times. The one that I married a few years ago have become divorced. We are not at all on the same in conversations.

    Reply
  19. "L"

    Psychic Sterling, I’d like to draw your attention to paragrapgh 3. It’s fun to entertain the notion that we each have a vibrational frequency that attracts other like vibrational beings into our lives. But in this day and age, everyone I know is using online dating. It’s just become the way of the world. When women have hundreds of guys pictures to comb through, it does’t have the same affect as, meeting them in nature (for lack of a better phase), making eye contact, Feeling their vibration. My question is, how effective is this vibrartional attraction on people who are some distance away say over the internet catalogued amongst so many others? How effective is the universe’s method today compared to days of yore?

    Reply
  20. linda

    OMG! Everything you have just written describes me, my father was in the Army, I have been married twice and divorced twice ( my choice) I want so much for someone to stay in my life and love me as deep as I give love but it always seems that the complete feeling is missing, I tend to nurture too much and never get that in return, so I wind up feeling lost and taken for granted, or just bored with the situation.

    Reply

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